ns Page 2207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy
Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever....
Here's Video Of A Lady Using Rail-Dance Spasms To Seduce A Goal From A Minor-League Hockey Game
In this video, a lady treats an ice-rink handrail like it's a pole on a stage. This seems to lead to an "awesome" Grand Rapids Griffins goal or something along those lines. The security guards apparently found this offensive. Bad form....
Former Penn State Coach Who Titled His Autobiography "Touched" Stands Accused Of Improperly Doing So
A grand jury is investigating allegations that "Penn State football legend" Jerry Sandusky indecently assaulted a 15-year-old boy over the course of a four-year period. Both Joe Paterno and Penn State Athletic Director Tim Curley were called to appear, according to the Patriot-News newspaper in cen...
We Are All Dave McKenna LVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is found face-down in a puddle....
Chad Pennington Bucks Tradition And Injures His Leg Instead Of His Arm
Two-time Comeback Player of the Year and current free agent Chad Pennington went and did something wholly original this week: he injured his leg instead of injuring his arm. To be exact, Pennington tore his ACL while playing in a pickup basketball game. Add this to his 2003 fractured hand, his 2005 ...
This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...
Ex-NBA Ref Attacks Dominique Wilkins Over Clothing Tab, Gets Black Eye, Plans To Sue
An ex-NBA ref named Rashan S. Michel lingered in Philips Arena after the Hawks-Magic game last night with the express purpose of demanding about $12,500 from Hall of Famer and Hawks analyst Dominique Wilkins. As seen in the TMZ-branded video above, Michel confronted Wilkins, shoved him, punched a ...
Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...
Today's The Day Baseball Fans Everywhere Except Pittsburgh Dream Of World Series Victory
Your morning roundup for March 31, the day a Bellaire, Ohio chair mourns the obese man who sat upon it for the past two years, leaving more than skin behind....
Watch A Frat-Boy Flyers Fan Flip The Fuck Out On His Bros
Brah here goes to Penn State. When he went out to study for a "very important test," Brah's bros covered his bed with, per the summary of whomever posted this video, "hundreds of plastic solo cups." Dude....
Alleged Gang Rape Of Daughter Drives Former Pro Rugby Player To Decapitating Axe Murder
While South African officials aren't identifying him by name, this much is clear: A 34-year-old former player for the Blue Bulls rugby team has been arrested "in connection with at least three axe murders."...
We Are All Dave McKenna LV (Pencil Dick Piñata Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets busted up like a Mexican birthday effigy....
Jose Canseco's Latest Tragicomedy Plays Out On Boston Radio
The controversy over Jose Canseco's no-show at one of his silly celebrity boxing matches has reached almost a full week of coverage thanks to the public piss-off between Jose and promoter Damon Feldman. Did Jose knowingly dick over the fight promoter and send his twin brother Ozzie to fight for him...
The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...
VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us
Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR....
Coach K, Please Shut Up (Also: Jalen Rose Arrested For DUI)
We do some Duke-hating around these parts. And maybe a hair too much of it, if you ask no one. I mean, hey, Duke lost to VCU in 2007 in the first round, before it was cool....
Keeping An Eye On CBS's Eye On Sports Stories About Eye Injuries
We haven't exactly lived up to the return challenge to never post anything regarding "death" or "spin" since we pointed out Eye On Baseball's story on Luis Salazar's lost left eye a few weeks ago, but we do feel it is our new duty to keep an eye on the CBS sports blogs' eye injury stories. Today: Ma...
We Are All Dave McKenna LIV (Abandoned Theme Park Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes up residence in Davy Jones' locker....
Weeklong Ochocinco/MLS Publicity Stunt Culminates In Predictable Publicity Stunt
We honestly love Chad Ochocinco without reserve. He's like if a little kid wished to the Big fortune teller machine to be a pro athlete, and got it. His actions seem genuine, so we weren't as turned off as a lot of people by his experiment with Sporting KC, to see if he still had his soccer skills f...
Your Balls Are Not Ready For This Most Manly Of MMA Events
Because two people kicking the shit out of each other in a semi-sanctioned bloodsport wasn't nearly hardcore enough, now we're doing it with only combatants with criminal records. Are you ready for Cages Vs. Cons, an upcoming event from the minds that brought you Felony Fights™? No, of course not,...