ns Page 2227 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What We Talk About When We Talk About Joe Theismann Calling Danny Woodhead "Woodcock"
Nothing. He was probably just thinking of the movie, or maybe a penis. Also, it's not that funny....

Penguins Fan Faceplants Onto A Van
It's early, but I think this Winter Classic tailgating video will satisfy our "drunken hockey fans injuring themselves" quota for the day....

Last Night's Winner: Look At This Goddamn <em>New York Post</em> Cover
Just look at it. Have you ever seen anything so amazing in your life?...

Oregon Fans Still Have A Couple Things Going For Them
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....

Today In Dumb Anti-NFLPA Spin
Florio has a pretty good rundown of the NFL's coming labor apocalypse, but there's one point he makes that I really hope doesn't catch on, even though you can be sure it will....

Vols Fans Take Aim At Lane Kiffin, With Actual Guns
It's the one-year anniversary of Lane Kiffin fleeing Tennessee for sunnier coasts, and to celebrate, a local gun store is holding "Shoot Coach Lane's Bobble-Head Day." It's exactly what it sounds like....

Arrowhead Parking Lot Orgies Are More Common Than One Would Think
As many Kansas City radio deejays desperately search for the couple in that photo up above, one commenter pointed us to a Craig's List posting from last week which may lead to some answers — or more questions....

Poor Lady Chiefs Fan Caught With Her Boobs Out After Post-Playoff Pity Hump (NSFW) (UPDATE)
Here we have a woman: knit-capped, pendulous breasts exposed, bluejeans in mid-yank, in plaintive conversation with a man: Tamba jersey'd, hunter's jumpsuit, dejected due to inebriation or underwhelming sexual performance atop the hood of a Murano....

Pissed-Off Under Armour Employee Does Not Want To Work Full Friday After Auburn's Championship
The corporate higher-ups at Under Armour probably should've waited to mess with employee holiday schedules, what with the lingering championship afterglow and all. One employee decided to vent his displeasure in the form of an anonymous email. This is his championship, after all....

Brent Musburger, Shilling For Tortilla Chips Since 2002
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Oh, <em>Now</em> Sidney Crosby Has An Opinion On Head Shots
After suffering a mild concussion, Crosby wants a change to the rules on headshots. Poor timing - tonight the Penguins play the Bruins, and I don't recall Crosby speaking up when teammate Matt Cooke almost ended Marc Savard's career. (This doesn't count.)...

Quickish.com Has Arrived
Our good friend Dan Shanoff has launched Quickish.com, a collection of real-time sports news recommendations. It's like a very well-tended Twitter feed, minus the Peter Gammons cryptograms....

Your Germ-Free Chiefs-Ravens Open Thread
Joe Cool goes up against Brady's backup. Ed Reed's brother goes missing. And Jamaal Charles appears to have dodged the flu, thanks to an advanced hygiene routine Chiefs coach Todd Haley put in place before the game....

Soccer Team's Fan Slugs Soccer Team's Player After Soccer Team's Win
In America, athletes punch fans. In England, it's the opposite. After Stevenage's 3-1 FA Cup victory over Newcastle on Saturday, a man reportedly clad in a Stevenage scarf superman-punched Scott Laird, a Stevenage defender. This is not how you incentivize the team....

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

Watch Marshawn Lynch Geaux To The House
The Seahawks salted away the Saints with the play you see here. Sorry, Marcus Allen. You can have your 74 yards and Facenda voiceover. Marshawn Lynch just gave us the most "holy shit" run in postseason history....

Your Medium-Sized Seahawks-Saints Open Thread
If the Seahawks win this game, there is no god. Unless –- wait — there is a god and he is prone to merciful acts such as that time when the Seahawks made the playoffs with a losing record....

<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....

Drew Brees Is Going To Throw It About A Billion Times To Make Up For The Running Game
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: No running backs? No problem....