ns Page 2237 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian St. Pierre Is Back In Our Lives!
Matt Moore's injured. Jimmy Clausen's injured. Rather than go with third-string rookie Tony Pike, the Panthers have tapped the immortal Brian St. Pierre, the pride of Boston College....
Why The Fuck Are Your Stadium Lights On?
Reader Brian Mendonca sent us this photo of AT&T Park in San Francisco last night. "AT&T Park lit up like a Christmas tree. No sign of any events going on..."...
Last Night's Winner: Goals, Goals, Goals
Here are the highlights of the Lightning/Flyers game; they're about 40 minutes long. That's because the teams managed to combine for 15 goals, all but one of them coming in the first two periods....
It's Not A Professional Sporting Event In Florida If Two Fans Aren't Punching Each Other On Camera
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
One "Worst Player In NFL History" Is Volcanically Pissed About Being A "Worst Player In NFL History"
Jeff Pearlman's massive list of football putridity has provoked an emotional reaction from Detroit Lions' safety, C.C. Brown, who was selected as the 90th worst player. He was not pleased with his ranking. In fact, he went completely berserk. ....
Brett Favre's Dong-Phone Number, Jenn Sterger Legal Updates, And Other Things Of Note
It's been relatively quiet on the sexting front, but there's some movement afoot that suggests the end to this saga is just beyond the phallus-shaped horizon....
Lovable Old Coach Speaks Only In Yells And Similes
Montana Tech football coach Bob Green announced his retirement yesterday. After 24 years with the NAIA Diggers, he's as established a walking soundbite as he is a coach....
Peter Gammons Either Going Insane Or Had His Twitter Hacked
1:31: "Wok bm pppppppppppppppppppppppppp." 1:34: "Plops." Relax, Peter. Sabathia didn't win the Cy Young....
Kansas City MLS Team's New Name Is Impossibly Awful
Goodbye, Kansas City Wizards. Hello, Sporting Kansas City. Or as we will refer to them hereafter, The Fightin' Gerunds....
Dan Snyder Makes Grandmothers Cry, And That's Just The Beginning Of It
Dave McKenna of the Washington City Paper has compiled an A-Z guide of all the things that make Redskins owner Dan Snyder awful. U is for "Unobstructed View: What Snyder wanted of the Potomac River from the back of his Montgomery County home."...
Fighter Wins Jiu-Jitsu Tournament Wearing Greenman Suit
Luke Summerfield obviously didn't think grappling was hard enough. He decided to wear a Greenman—or Redman—suit during a recent tournament in which he blindly grappled his way to first place. Surely an inspiration to spandex-body-suit wearers the world over....
Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...
So, A Drunk Clevelander Laid Out A Small Child For Being A Jets Fan
You can stop emailing us about the 8-year-old who got tackled at the Browns game for wearing a Jets jersey. Our official stance is this: if you don't want your child to get beaten up everywhere they go, don't let them root for the Jets. Simple....
Thunderous Dunk Uses Opponent's Chest As A Springboard
Best we can tell, this is from the third level of the German pro basketball system, and that's University of Dayton grad Marcus Johnson going all Tom Chambers on some poor schmo. All 35 fans were thrilled....
Sneakers From Heaven
Writes Marc: "A while back i noticed someone threw some old school Air Jordans up on the telephone/power lines across the street... today...I saw this out my window...word. I wonder if he's going to the outdoor courts at the park now to hoop it up."...
<em>College Jeopardy</em> Contestants Dazzle Viewers Yet Again With Sports Knowledge
Not knowing Tim Duncan is vaguely understandable, but field hockey? We know black and white photos aren't visually arresting sometimes, but c'mon, guys....
For Sale: The Laptop Cam Newton Stole
According to an emailer named "A Person With Connections" the laptop that Auburn's quarterback whipping boy Cam Newton stole from that poor kid in Florida has been recovered and is now for sale on the Scuzz Money Market. Here's his pitch....
Drunk Chicagoan Scales Dinosaur After Bears Win
Well, maybe he's not drunk, just living out the fantasies we all had as five-year-olds. I'm sure the Field Museum loves being smack dab between Soldier Field and the regional rail station....
Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....
Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football
Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college....