ns Page 2272 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]...

Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....

Yes, Dennis Green's Son, Who Apparently Writes For ESPN, Had Some Kiddie Porn On His Computer
I almost typed "kitty porn," which I assume is a lesser charge in Connecticut. Green was also charged with possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia. He was gonna have quite a party by himself. [Hartford Courant]...

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

Surveying The Wreckage Of The Matt Millen Era
Today, the Lions released Daniel Bullocks, the last player remaining from a 5-year stretch of drafts. That's 0-for-40. Here's what became of them all, and I warn you, it's not pretty....

LeBron's Departure Helps Tea Party, Political Writers In Desperate Need Of LeBron Angle
It's early, but this story on The Atlantic's web site might just be the most inane, half-assed piece of LeBron punditry you'll read today. Here, I'll summarize: LeBron made Ohio angry. Angry people join the Tea Party. The end....

Cavs Owner Channels Crazy Person: "Some People Think They Should Go To Heaven But NOT Have To Die To Get There"
Owner Dan Gilbert has written an open letter to Cavs fans in the sort of prose you normally find wrapped around a brick. Note the font: The guy makes Comic Sans seem sinister....

Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...

IT'S FUCKING OVER: LEBRON TO HEAT SAYS... LEBRON
LeBron James made a decision. Here's video....

The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....

ESPN Deploys LeBron Sad Trombone/Victory Reporting Team Just In Case Chris Broussard Is Completely Wrong
Many sources scampering around Bristol have relayed that, for all that careful hedging. ESPN's own Chris Broussard claims he's "99% positive" LeBron will sign with the Miami WadeBosh. And if he's wrong? Well, ESPN has boots on the ground....

Brazilian Goalie Linked With Alleged Murder, Sneijder’s Staying Put
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Story On Dean Smith's Failing Health May Give You Some Dust In Your Eye
"People close to the coach say his famous memory is slipping. On some days he doesn't recognize people he has known for years." [Fayetteville Observer]...

Colin Cowherd Mentions The Gloria James-Delonte West Humping Rumor; ESPN Not Pleased
On his show, useless ESPN talker Colin Cowherd has dared mention the Great Unmentionable Thing: the Delonte West-Gloria James rumor that was all the rage a few weeks ago. Oh, and he has "sources."...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....

Young Fan's Interference Leads To Mariners Loss, Priceless Expressions Of Wounded Innocence
In the eighth inning last night, Russell Branyan hit a chopper down the line that rolled into foul territory and was picked up by a teenager—preventing Ichiro from tying the game. Watch the young man's excitement turn to horror. [MLB.com]...

Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....

Rev Up The Outrage; MLB Apotheosizes, Fellates Strasburg In New Ad
Koufax. Gibson. Ryan. Strasburg. Now, MLB's not saying he's as good as them, but if six games are any judge, he's better!...

Last Night's Winner: ESPN, According To ESPN
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ESPN, which is reporting that LeBron James will declare his intentions Thursday during a one-hour special televised by ESPN, according to ESPN's sources....

One Middle Finger For Each Star Headed To The Heat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....