ns Page 2277 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pobody's Nerfect In Australasia
America doesn't have a monopoly on jingoistic, inaccurate headlines. The Sydney Morning Herald celebrates New Zealand's unlikely draw by labeling them "Australasia." [SMH]...

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 15th
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer....

Tom Izzo: Spartan "For Life"
That sounds about right. Now ... exhale. [Lansing State Journal]...

Teagarden Affair Once Again Exposes All-Star Voters As A Bunch Of Morons
Here's your triannual reminder that sports fans are stupid, and should be protected from themselves: currently fourth in the voting for AL catcher is a player who has one measly hit on the season, and currently plays in Double-A....

Steve Kerr Resigns, Trades Himself Back To Television
Resigns as Suns' GM after four years of overseeing fastfastfastfastfast basketball. [SLAM!]...

Intern Horrors: Joe Buck Edition ... With A Response From Joe Buck
We received an intern horror story this week so delicious that it warranted its own post. Our old pal Joe Buck is involved. So is Joe Buck's sweat-soiled napkin. Allegedly. The story — and Joe's response — after the jump....

Conference-ocalypse Averted, Big 12 Is The New Big 10
So today was apparently not a good day for the Big 12 to die. Despite all reports to the contrary, Texas will apparently stay in the Big 12 South and the Pac-10 is now stuck with Colorado....

FedEx: When You Absolutely, Positively Need Your Son's Team To Play In A BCS Conference
Memphis, stricken by Realignment Fever, is trying to negotiate their way into a bigger conference or, failing that, find a wealthy benefactor to buy them one. Thankfully, they (and their quarterback) have an international conglomerate at their disposal....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 14
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner....

Intern Horrors: "You'll Never Work In This Business Again," The Scooter-Riding Mascot Said
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature filled with tales of being at the bottom of the totem pole, looking way up or cursing the indentured servants that save you money. Today: mascots behaving badly, office chair shenanigans and more. Sic alert!...

The One Where The Mets Get Started Early For USA-England
Continental Harbor Hotel, Baltimore, Md.: Saturday before the USA v England game in Baltimore. We tried to get them to come to Hooters with us to watch the game but they had to go to bp I assume — Darcy D....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup (Video)
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid....

Vince Young's Texas Pride Wins The Weekend
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLAh16kAvPA In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Vince Young standing up for his alma mater, punching out a dude just because he was from Oklahoma....

Stephen Strasburg Is Strasburgering The Crap Out Of The Indians
Stephen Strasburg update: 8ks, 5innings. Just give him the Cy Young for the rest of the decade right now. /Costas'd. [Yahoo!]...

Feisty Lady Beating The Crap Out Of Bloke Airs During Live World Cup TV Report
Maybe there's something to that whole domestic violence theory about the World Cup? A live on-the-scene broadcast from Liverpool captured the "great night" being had by all during USA-England — including an angry couple waling on each other in the background. [YouTube]...

Abby Sunderland Sails Into A Media Shitstorm
Sixteen-year-old sailor Abby Sunderland may not have circumnavigated the globe, but headlines of her ordeal certainly did. She's only the latest teenager to push herself to the limit while barely pushing puberty. And now her whole endeavor is being judged harshly by the self-appointed surrogate pare...

Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup Of The Day (Video)
Two games today, two goals. Both of them in the first game. Bafana Bafana's Siphiwe Tshabalala knocked in a real beaut at the 55-minute mark, but Mexico's Rafael Marquez nailed the equalizer in the 79th. See, ties are fun....

Private Stache: Brawling In The Stands At The 1986 World Cup
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....