ns Page 2292 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Coach K Is A Loathsome, Humorless Prig, Part 1,294
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Redskins Have The Strangest Backfield Ever
Washington signs Willie Parker, planning to run the exclusive three-RB formation, in which he, Portis and Johnson line up, only to watch Jason Campbell doink the ball into the turf four yards from the line of scrimmage. [AP]...
The Gus Johnson Soundboard Is No More
CBS sent a cease and desist letter to the operator of the Gus Johnson soundboard. He's asking for legal advice, so hopefully Deadspin LLC can help Gus rise and fire on this Good Friday. [Gus Johnson Soundboard]...
Kansas City Royals: Small-Town Dreams, Small-Town Problems
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Kansas City Royals....
On The Block: Thurman Munson's Pilot License
Okay, forget Thomas Hearns's baby spoon; this might be the saddest auction item out there....
Who’s Stupid Enough To Fall For A Mark Sanchez April Fool’s Prank? Take A Wild Guess
Remember how I said yesterday that people have become immune to online April Fool's jokes? Well, I should have left STUPID people out of that stance, like Jason McIntyre and the New York Post....
Last Night's Winner: John Feinstein
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sportswriter John Feinstein, who badgered a hapless NCAA VP yesterday over tournament expansion and thereby became a hero to anti-expansionists for all the wrong reasons....
Jason Whitlock Apparently Getting His Becky On, Via Twitter
This message, in which Very Provocative Columnist Jason Whitlock makes a new friend on the Internet, appeared briefly on Whitlock's twitter feed, only to disappear moments later. Oh, Jason, u sound like a dream, too. [@WhitlockJason, h/t Pete Gaines]...
Shaun Rogers Almost Brings Loaded Gun Onto An Airplane
The Cleveland tackle was arrested at Hopkins International Airport today after he "forgot" that he had a loaded gun in his bag. Even worse, his shampoo bottle was well over four ounces. [Plain-Dealer/WOIO]...
The Steve Phillips Redemption Timeline
AOL Fanhouse hired Steve Philips as their new baseball analyst, just 161 days after the world learned he had an affair with an ESPN underling. Is that some kind of record for morphing from sexual disgrace to professional respectability?...
The 10 Saddest Items In Thomas "Hitman" Hearns's Police Auction
Hearns owes a ton of money to the IRS, and he's been forced to auction off his possessions. But it's not all priceless ring memories; the ordinary household items will break your heart just as much....
PETA Capitalizes On Clemens's Failure To Launch
PETA suggests that Roger Clemens's rumored performance issues are due to his carnivorous diet. Wonder if the grand jury will buy that one. [PETA via copyranter]...
"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...
NCAA Will Stamp Out The Plague That Is IUPUI
NCAA enforcement is swift and harsh, if you're IUPUI. Probation, loss of scholarships, and vacated wins all because they hired one terrible academic adviser. Remember when "lack of institutional control" used to mean something? [WTHR/Indy Star/Photo via]...
Gus Johnson Soundboard And A Humping Bulldog: The Mashup We've All Been Waiting For
What happens when you mix a horny bulldog with a stuffed bear and the Gus Johnson soundboard? Magic happens....
Flip Murray In A Nutshell: The Incredible, Too-Late Buzzer Not-Quite Beater
Flip Murray hit an amazing half-court shot in last night's Suns-Bulls game. Unfortunately, the third-quarter buzzer had already sounded, and Flip was left to ponder the thin line between glory and a spot on Dazzling Dunks and Basketball Bloopers. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...
Denard Span Smacks His Own Mother! (With A Foul Ball)
A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom. [LoHud]...
New Facts: Most Sports Viewers Are Republican, John Boehner Chain Smokes
According to this recent fancypants study, the majority of sports fans in this country tend to vote Republican. This explains why so many people start yelling at us when this site throws lefty....
Last Night's Winner: Steve Lavin's Wife
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Steve Lavin, who is not only young, well-groomed and gainfully employed, but also married to an attractive human female that (presumably) has sex with him....
The (Other) Least Desirable Gig In College Basketball
Maybe I was using hyperbole with my headline yesterday — or maybe I just forgot about DePaul. I've read your plaintive emails, and I agree. The search for the Blue Demons' next head coach is proving just as pitiful....