ns Page 2298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jim Schwartz Pursues Free Agents Like A Deranged Ex-Boyfriend
How do you convince talented and (mostly) sane players to move to Detroit and play for the Lions? If you're Jim Schwartz you sit outside their house in the middle of the night and leave heaving breathing on their voicemail....

The Angriest Column No One Will Ever Read
You'll never see so much righteous indignation over a) an uncalled travel in basketball; b) Atlantic Sun basketball; and c) women's college basketball. Might not want to start printing those protest t-shirts just yet. [Florida Times-Union]...

The Exodus From Arizona Continues
Dolphins sign LB Karlos Dansby. Moving from a dry heat to a wet heat. Not wise....

It Was Quite A Night In Cleveland
It was a night of Snuggies, seizures and six (wins in a row for the Cavs) at the Quicken Loans Arena....

<em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Flosses Rick Reilly®'s Column From Its Pages
We're told that Rick Reilly's next ESPN The Magazine column will be his last for the magazine, which means he will now annoy the world on only two ESPN media platforms instead of three. Progress!...

Springtime For Customized Jerseys
Because it's Friday and this has been one of the lamest weeks in recent memory, why not resurrect everyone's favorite clothing-based photo gallery feature, a.k.a., people who wasted a lot of money on ideas they didn't fully think through....

Olbermann Joins The Sports Fella Pile-On
On Simmons: "I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."...

Brittney Griner Suspension Is Typical, But Not Enough
NCAA rules demand that a player who throws a punch in a game get an automatic one-game suspension. Brittney Griner's coach gave her one more to grow on but even if that's normal, it's not really what she deserves....

Shady Business Practices In Miami
Demand, meet supply: the Dolphins will charge more money for fans who want to sit in the shade. Good, now they can watch Chad Henne struggle in relative comfort....

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Spring Training Win Way More Important Than Silly "World Series"
According to awesomely free Philly Metro, a ninth-inning rally by Wilson Valdez exacts "some measure of revenge" for the Yankees beating them at that whole "world championship" thing last fall. I guess one micron counts as "some measure."...

It's 6:30 AM, And Jake Delhomme Just Threw Another Interception
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Sports Fella Doubles Down On The Stupid
Remember that foolish thing Bill Simmons said the other day about Tiger and Muhammad Ali? Well, Bill has taken a step back, read some old Sports Illustrateds, and decided to be foolish again, only at much greater length. [Charles Pierce]...

Kansas Coach Apparently Has Quite The Social Life (UPDATE)
It was a full house in Lawrence as KU downed K-State for the Big 12 Championship, including one well-known adult film star. So who hooked her up with floor seats?...

Joe Mauer's Imaginary Contract Has A Lot Of "I"s To Dot
Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]...

An Intern Introduction And A Poop-Related Apology
Hello. If you haven't heard, I'm the new Deadspintern (feel free to suggest a nickname). I hope you have enjoyed what I've done so far because it's been a real hoot....

What Are We To Do With Brittney Griner?
Baylor's Brittney Griner assaulted someone on a basketball court last night and after dealing with LeGarrette Blount and Elizabeth Lambert, it's still not clear what the appropriate level of hysterical moral outrage should be....

Last Night's Winner: Rioters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Maryland students, who finally got an excuse to smash the state with some real grownup civil disobedience. Wait, did Rick Reilly® sign off on this?...

Time To Start A Band Since We've Already Got A Kickass Album Cover
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....