ns Page 2313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Breaking: Buzz Bissinger Says Provocative Thing On Television
Watch as the ol' shit-pisser, speaking with Matt Lauer, deems Tiger a narcissist for doing pull-ups in front of Annie Leibovitz. Then he calls Lee Trevino a drunk. Just like W.C. Heinz used to do! [Courtesy Gawker.TV]...

Hoaxish Tiger Woods Story Finally Crosses The 49th Parallel
"After dinner, Tiger Woods watched football in the living room while sending text messages to Rachel, the famous blond [sic]," according to — oh, man, this is almost too adorable — a former NHL coach....

You Can Barely Contain The Deadspin Mailbag
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering pants, nail clippings, drinking alone, and bank robbing....

A Boise State Fiesta Bowl Win Makes Everyone On The Field Amorous (KOGOD Update)
Remember the last time Boise State won the Fiesta, Statue of Liberty hero Ian Johnson got down on one knee and proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. Freshman o-lineman Michael Ames also experienced the spoils of victory....

<em>Forbes</em> Wins The Race To Declare NBA Players "Thugs"
And there it is, right on time. "Many NBA players carry guns and the league is full of thugs," according to something called Michael Ozanian, national editor at Forbes, of all places....

There Must Be Some Mistake Here
"White Kid Wins Dunk Contest"? Don't ask me. I'm as confused as you are. [Rivals - Thanks, Tom L.]...

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Today In Euphemizing Johnny Weir's Gayness: <em>ESPN The Magazine</em>
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Zorn Officially Out
Guess no one told the Redskins that they could sleep in today. Jim Zorn was escorted from the building at 4:45 a.m. this morning and Bruce Allen didn't even buy him breakfast. [ESPN]...

The Zorn Nonentity
As I write this, the Redskins are playing for pride and their jobs...and are struggling against Billy Volek and the Charger subs. It's time for Jim Zorn to pay the piper....

Masochist USC Punishes Self For Mayo Shenanigans
Ah, January, when the talk turns from NCAA football sanctions to NCAA basketball sanctions. First up: USC. It's as predictable as the changing of the seasons....

Baylor Commits Girl-On-Girl Crime
Brittney Griner dunks twice (scoff, but when's the last time Shaq did that?) as the Lady Bears put a Texas-sized hurting on Texas State, 99-18. At least the Washington Generals keep it close until the ladder comes out. [Waco Tribune]...

The Golf Channel Gets Racy After Dark
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....

NHL Winter Classic: Flyers. Penguins. Or Bruins. Go.
It'd be a shame to neglect hockey fans on their special day. So enjoy the live blog that Melt Your Face Off has going on, and look at Enrico's pretty pictures. What say you, Todd Mc...oh, wait....

Capital One Bowl: Penn State. LSU. Geaux.
It's the Penn State Old Italian Gentlemen in Giant Glasses taking on the LSU Po' Boys. What say you, Todd McShay?...

Thankfully, The Blind Kid Can't See Corso's Merkin
What happens when a grown man wearing a Duck head attempts to shake the hand of a blind child? MAGIC, that's what. Someone get this kid a complimentary Erin Andrews breast touch. Via Spencer Hall....

Gilbert Arenas And Teammate In Gun Standoff (UPDATE)
It's barely 2010 and already this year has exceeded my expectations: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas reportedly drew a fucking gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton, who did likewise. From the NY Post:...

Two Ornery Golf Writers Insult Bloggers Like It's Still 2005
The Tiger Woods saga has made the old golf media guard testy because their precious game has been sullied by all this cocktail waitress-boinking coverage, and now, email hoaxes. Watch more of them type angry....