ns Page 2315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pete Carroll is a Foxy Fox: Your Emerald Bowl of Nuts Open Thread
I just spent like 30 minutes browsing wire images of Pete Carroll. Love that guy. Anyway, USC takes on Boston College in the Emerald Bowl. It's like Jessica Simpson dating Billy Corgan. I'll let you decide which is which!...
![Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f10f85e5j4ajpg.jpg)
Papa, Let Your Babies Grow Up to Date Hockey Players [Canadian Ben Bernanke Update!]
Hunky Ottawa hockey player Mike Fisher proposed to Carrie Underwood early this week, breaking Drew Magary's heart/hand. Think those brunettes look jealous now? Ha, wait til they learn how much the ring cost. UPDATE! Meet the "Canadian Ben Bernanke":...

All I Want for Christmas is to Never Hear That Song Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

They Were There, Too
Clearly, I haven't been to any transcendent sporting events live in the last 10 years, and thankfully, that's not true of some of our lurking commenters. Join the party!...

The Year In... Mutton
So the last month has been chock full of end-of-decade retrospectives in addition to the typical end-of-year remembrances. We'll do our own anyway. Today, to start: mutton-bustin'. Like you expected anything else....

"I Was There...": Best Sporting Events You've Seen In Person This Decade
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now (including here), but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade. Mine: Game 7, 2000 NHL Eastern Conference Finals....

Armed Agent Zero Confuses Wizards With Bullets
We interrupt your Christmas caroling for this: Gilbert Arenas is under NBA investigation for stashing firearms in his locker. Apparently, that might violate the league's gun policy. Plus, Washington D.C. owns strict anti-gun laws. What's the excuse?...

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

Beware The Who Dat Bandit
With all the new Saints bandwagon fans, there's a surefire way to find out who's legit: start a Saints chant to get their attention. And then mug them....

Chan Ho Park And Chad Kreuter Are Least Likely Litigants Ever
Pitchers and catchers have a unique bond, unlike any other in sports. That still doesn't make it a good idea to lend a journeyman backstop money....

Serena Williams Beats Out Horse For AP Female Athlete Of The Year
Yes, Zenyatta, "who capped a 14-0 career by becoming the first female horse to win the Breeders' Cup Classic" came in second. Kim Clijsters came in third. Fourth? Artie Lange. [ESPN.com]...

Dear Deadspin Commenters: You Are The Reason The <em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Is Full Of Racist Morons (UPDATE)
Commenters, prepare to be amused. A Sun-Times web editor named Matthew Wood chastised some of his newspaper's online community for nasty, racist remarks and has blamed this phenomenon on...Deadspin. Read on....

Last Night's Winner: Shopping Malls
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the megasize temple of commerce that assaulted me with annoying children, terrible seasonal music and then took all my money. You win again, Christmas....

Who Knew Greg Oden's Magical Exploding Kneecap Was Contagious?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Best <i>Best American Sports Writing</i> Of The Decade
Before the regrettable bulk of sports writing became sportswriting and the Internet emerged as the medium to document the worst of it, one book, every year, nobly set out to chronicle sports writing's best....

TMZ Sports: Prepare For The Next Great "Tabloid War" Or Something
I already have to worry about one scary gay tyrant breathing down my neck, now I have to worry about two? If Brooks is right, TMZ Sports is about to change everything for the better. Or worse....

Desperate Fan Just Wants To Win Something So He's Asking For Your Help
From an emailer: "There's a $50 gift certificate prize on a blog I frequent for identifying this guy and I want to win...only I have no idea who this dude is. I'm counting on you deadspin...don't let me down." Go....

Jason Marquis Final Key To The Nationals 20-Year Rebuilding Plan
Those frisky Nats have bolstered their pitching staff by nabbing someone on their wish list and the Mets continue to be enamored with Japanese players. Jayson Stark sports a mighty chub for springtime so you know it's time for HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

It's Always Snowing In Philadelphia
Yes, the Iggles faithful acted accordingly with the leftover snow in the stadium. Thankfully, the Niners fans wore hardhats to the game. We can only hope that they did not pack the snowballs with urine. [YouTube]...

Chip Caray Lines A Base Hit, Scores A New Job
Don't fret, Braves fans! Recently fired Chip Caray will be your play-by-play man for Fox Sports South this season. Said Joe Simpson, his booth partner-in-crime: "I hope the Braves' fans will be as excited as I am." [AJC/Suss]...