ns Page 2323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jim Nantz Just Can't Find A Woman Who Won't Cost Him Boatloads Of Money
"I have champagne taste on a beer budget . . . I love what I do, but the bottom line is that I'm not making enough to pay for myself." [Page Six photo: Big Lead]...

The Stephen A. Smith Happy Hour Begins At Noon Today
Sock? Still retired. Enthusiastic Guild letter after the jump....

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Air Jordans Now Come In Running Shoe, Hooker Boot Form
The Nike mainstays have popped up a couple of times today, in fairly unique incarnations. Is there anything these iconic sneakers can't do? (Besides costing UCF their $3 million endorsement deal, of course.)...

Arkansas Suspends Just About Everyone Over Gang-Bang Allegations, Rape LOLs, Other Stuff
The Razorbacks will suit up just nine players for their opener on Friday, and five guys in all have been suspended, the penalty for momentarily turning the program into Caligula of the Ozarks....

Media Continues Psycho-Social Deconstruction Of Elizabeth Lambert, Chick Fights
""Video of the incident has spurred a national debate about sportsmanship, gender roles, double standards regarding aggressiveness and news media coverage and the sexualized portrayal of female athletes." Don't forget Freudian photos of women giving birth to soccer balls. [NYTimes]...

You'd Lose Your Mind Too, If You Had To Coach Hockey In Louisiana
Brent Sapergia only lasted two games as coach of the Louisiana IceGators, but he made them count—getting thrown out of both and making himself internet famous with an epic, bench-clearing temper tantrum....

You Can't Drag Baseball Into The 21st Century
Like many others, I assumed that Major League Baseball would have no choice but to cave in and expand the use instant replay this offseason, but I underestimated the league's commitment to completely ignoring public opinion at all times....

And This Is What Happens When The Truth Is Untrue
Many of you read last night's amended Pat Murphy story where one rogue emailer decided to punch-up his Ali autograph-seeking story with some silly false details about ASU's coach. This happens sometimes....

An Apt Metaphor For The Raiders Season?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

SEC Refs Are Afraid Of Technology. Like, 1990s Technology.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is <em>Exactly</em> What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers]...

Jayhawk Superfan Has Quite The Rap Sheet
KU's most visible fan, White Owl, is nowhere to be seen this season, thanks to some pretty hilarious legal trouble. That's him up in the picture. He's the one who's white. And a little crazy....

He Got You, My Pretty
Former Wisconsin Badger Darin Schubring lost a bar fight was sucker-punched by a man wearing a Flying Monkey costume. That's slightly more embarrassing than being referred to, 25 years later, as "Baraboo local legend." But only slightly. [Baraboo News Republic]...

Upon Further Review, Baseball Is Stupid
Baseball won't be expanding instant replay anytime soon, because baseball doesn't want its outcomes to be an accurate reflection of what transpires on the field so much as an expression of the yearnings in Tim McClelland's heart....

And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
Count Courtney Cummz as one of those of Us who've had their life altered by the plucky wit and sporty wisdom of Sports Fella through the years. Yes, Courtney works in the adult entertainment industry. How could you tell? (NSFW)...

Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby."...

The Clemson Women's Rowing Team About To Become Famous For All The Wrong Reasons
And that's...start again. And there's...no. Sigh. These poor girls. Nice win at the Hooch, though! [ClemsonTigers.cstv]...

If Dan Snyder Sees Bugs, You Better Well See Them Too
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering fertility, Thanksgiving, Project Runway, NSFW warnings, and more....

Bill Simmons, Establishment
For those of who have seen his popularity swell into the stratosphere the last few years, it wasn't a surprise to see Bill Simmons atop the bestseller list. But it should have been....