ns Page 2335 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brady Quinn's Wild Ride Comes To An End. For Now.
Yes, campers, Derek Anderson (née Horse Balls) has been summoned to save the struggling football team in Cleveland once again. [SI/WaitingForNextYear/ClevelandFrowns]...
NFL Gets Brained By Its Own Study
The NFL is slowly coming around to the idea that football can cause significant cognitive damage to its participants. Previously, this view was held by only players, fans, neuroscientists and those members of Western civilization not on the NFL's payroll....
Eric Wedge: Dead Man Walking
Manager Eric Wedge and his coaching staff will finish out the season on the Cleveland Indians bench. But don't worry—he's still totally fired. [Plain Dealer]...
Lifting Weights Obsessively Helped Stafon Johnson Survive Nasty Weightlifting Accident
Dr. Gudata Hinika, trauma director at California Hospital Medical Center: "Had that been any one of us, meaning me, I would not have survived. His neck was so solid and so muscular, that actually helped maintain his airway." [LAT]...
The Great Toronto Swindle
I bet that neither you nor anyone you know has ever had your seat randomly selected for those jumbotron contests. Well, here's why: Collusion. Cahoots. Flimflammery....
Women's Basketball Didn't Count On Our Immaturity
The West Coast Conference has a neat little interactive video which lets you (or any name you choose) play the role of top pick. This is the fruit of a $90,000 grant. Money well spent. [SF Weekly]...
Couple Christens Dallas Cowboys Stadium's New Bathroom Stalls
Some of you who follow my infrequently updated Twitter account may have seen a report from a friend about a video of two people doing the North Texas rumpy-pump in the bathroom at the MNF game. It has arrived. (NSFW)...
A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
Grown men who play professional baseball like to celebrate momentous victories by furiously shaking bottles of Champagne and spraying other grown men in the face. It's such a rich tradition that we've made a happy little gallery. Enjoy!...
A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...
Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....
Stafon Johnson's Prognosis Is Good
The USC tailback, hurt yesterday when a weight bar fell on his neck, underwent seven hours of throat surgery. He's in critical but stable condition. "We all feel a bit damaged today and injured," Pete Carroll said. [LA Times]...
Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...
Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....
USC Running Back In Horrific-Sounding Weight-Room Accident
"ESPN's Shell[e]y Smith is reporting USC RB Stafon Johnson has been taken to the hospital after a bar came down on his throat in the weight room. Johnson was coughing up blood." [CBS2]...
The Ron Zook Coaching Tree Bears Intense Fruit
First-year New Mexico coach Mike Locksley learned at the knee of famous intensity-pisser Ron Zook, and it seems he learned well. Locksley now stands accused of punching his wide receivers coach in the face....
Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...
Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....
The Poise Is Back In Town
Another week, another victory for Mark Sanchez, another opportunity for New York Times Jets writer Greg Bishop to limn the quarterback's lukewarm heroics with his favorite word. You know the one....
The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
