ns Page 2341 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Erin Andrews Still Being Victimized
By People magazine. Wrong blonde lady who was supposedly boned by a steely-eyed Red Sox catcher, guys! [People]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Erin Andrews Opens Up To Oprah And ESPN Finally Says Something
The world waits in rapt funeral amazement September 11, when we'll see Erin Andrews props herself on the important chair with Oprah Winfrey to share her horrifying tale of peepdom with America's Mom Nation. A summary of her appearance....

NFL Preemptively Stops First Twitter Touchdown Celebration
As expected, the NFL has laid down a formal law banning the use of Twitter during games, providing fans with at least one safe haven in the ongoing war to see who can be the league's most obnoxious player....

Erin Andrews To Sit Down And Weep On Oprah September 11
So says Deitsch Tweets: The timing of this event couldn't be anymore perfect. Mourn appropriately. If you or anyone you know was at the taping last week, contact me ([email protected]), please. [RichardDeitsch] (Full release after jump)...

The Adventures Of Blazer Girl In Bristol
Blazer Girl recently toured ESPN's Bristol compound as part of the network's 30th anniversary celebration. She encountered several strange and frightening plastic creatures. She also encountered the decoy coyotes. Her photos and a full report....

Jonah Keri Cheats Death
"A deafening series of violent bumps. A patch of thickly clustered trees. A terrified scream. A sickening crash," writes the great Jonah Keri, in what has to be the most improbable and life-affirming story you'll read all day. [JonahKeri.com]...

The Summer Of Our Discontent
Pretty soon, this will all be over. No more loping around idly on Saturdays and Sundays. No more wandering outside and soaking in the sun. No more posts about the Tomatina. It's almost football season!...

Every Poll Has Its Thorns
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Blazer Girl In The Land Of The Plastic Coyote
These are the notorious decoy coyotes of ESPN, propped up by The Worldwide Leader In Bird Control to scare off nesting geese and captured here in terrifying synthetic predation, like Steve Phillips in those fake press conferences....

Player-Coach Leads Team To Championship While Pregnant
Sky Blue FC won the first Women's Professional Soccer League championship last weekend, but didn't find out until the champagne celebration that their coach-slash-captain, Christie Rampone, is three months pregnant. No, she didn't play barefoot....

Illiterate Hockey Coach Now Writing Canada's Laws
Former NHL coach Jacques Demers—who admitted in 2005 that he is functionally illiterate—was appointed to the Canadian Senate by his buddy Stephen Harper. Eh, nobody reads government bills anyway. [Toronto Star]...

Everything's Bigger In Texas, Except The Beers
It's a dark day for fans of the Houston Texans; you're now getting your beer in smaller cups, because you pansies have proven you can't hold your alcohol....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Sure Thing"
Today's excerpt is from Eric Adelson's book about prodigious lady golfer Michelle Wie, "The Sure Thing: The Making And Unmaking Of A Golf Phenom." Buy it here. And, of course, Mr. Adelson will field your inappropriate questions in the comments....

Rick Pitino Has Had It With You Lying Liars
Earlier today, police released videotapes of the interviews with Karen Sypher where she accused Rick Pitino of all that bad stuff. Well, Pitino did not like that one bit and he's got the angry press conference rant to prove it....

Ohio State Asks Fans To Stop Being Obnoxious Pricks For Five Seconds
Ohio State is graciously allowing a service academy to play football on its field this season and also politely requests that their fans not mercilessly rain boos, slurs and D batteries down upon the Midshipmen as they take the field....

A Conversation With Football Outsiders EIC Aaron Schatz
My beach books aren't novels about Smith women discovering their sexuality, or biographies about forgotten historical figures, or leadership You-Can-Make-Millions-Out-Of-Your-Home-And-Here's-How. I read the Prospectus books....

West Ham And Millwall Bringing Back Old School Hooliganism
If you're one of those people who thinks that soccer exists only to support bottle-throwing riots, you're not alone. Supporters of rival London clubs were apparently way more interested in stabbing each other than watching their last game....

Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....