ns Page 2355 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Hygiene Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

More Whitlock: McNair's Not A Hero, He's Not The Morality Police, Likes To Get His "Becky On" As Well
"Personally, I prefer June-December romances, but a blossoming May flower certainly could be fertilized into a special, 28-year-old bouquet by a patient and attentive gardener." Also: "Becky."[Fox Sports]...

The Death Of Steve McNair And The War Against Cliché
The eulogies to Steve McNair are pouring in from all points on the compass, and one word seems to be showing up again and again. You know which one: "warrior."...

The Real Reason You Should Hate The Media (And That Includes Us)
A new media site launched yesterday that serves as a rather handy reminder of just why everyone hates the media....

The Fate Of U.S.-Russia Relations Rests On Alexander Ovechkin's Stick
"As a resident of Washington, D.C., I continue to benefit from the contributions of Russians — specifically, from Alexander Ovechkin," said Barack Obama, who was criticized for not being a true puckhead. Don't get greedy, Capitals fans. [D.C. Sports Bog]...

Cristiano Ronaldo Stars In World's Largest Press Conference
Almost 80,000 people showed up at Real Madrid's stadium last night just to watch Cristiano Ronaldo try on a shirt. I'm starting to suspect that you don't love your favorite team enough....

Oh, Jason, You've Really Gone And Done It Now...
Jason Whitlock wrote a face-slapper of a column about Serena Williams where he says things like this: "I am not fundamentally opposed to junk in the trunk, although my preference is a stuffed onion over an oozing pumpkin." Jezebels...ATTACK!...

Caleb Campbell Gives Bobsledding A Shot
Remember Caleb Campbell—the former Army Cadet who was drafted by, but not allowed to play for, the Detroit Lions? Boy, did that guy dodge a bullet! Okay, maybe that was a bad metaphor....

Long Snapper Pays Price For Saints' Poor Investment Decisions
Kevin Houser has played in every Saints game since 2000—only hiking the ball on kicks, but still—yet he was abruptly cut last week for no apparent reason. Unless you count failed investments that cost his teammates $2 million....

Minor League Promotion Violates Human Rights Laws, Constitution
It's a remarkable world we live in when a promotion meant to celebrate women can get written up as a violation of human rights laws. I hope Amnesty International doesn't have to be called for the next Free Bat Night....

More Steve McNair Revelations And Fallout
Mechelle McNair, Steve's wife of 12 years, had no idea her husband was cheating on her until after his death, the NY Daily News reports. But one former NFL quarterback's wife offered some unfiltered opinion on how she'd react....

Bill Plaschke's Unhealthy Manny Obsession
Professional grumpypants Bill Plaschke really hates Manny Ramirez. In fact, the only thing he hates more than Manny is people who refuse to hate Manny as much as he does. Why can't they see what Bill Plaschke sees?...

The Nathan's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Is America
Is there anything more distinctly American than celebrating our independence by holding a contest to see who could consume the most processed meat? Photographer Erin Siegal and I ventured out to Coney Island to take it all in....

Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...

Royal Rumble Ends; Blogger Still Standing
Royals lift "ban" on Rany Jazayerli : "[T]here's a big difference between passively resisting my show and actively trying to sabotage my career. Now that the latter possibility is off the table, we're cool." [Rany on the Royals]...

Holiday Announcements And Other Things Of Note
Tomorrow is technically an "off day" for Gawker media, but we'll be intermittently posting some stuff that will hopefully keep those of you trapped at work for a few hours occupied. Lots and lots of pictures....

Team "Bans" Baseball Prospectus Writer, Pain In The Royal Ass
Last week, Rany Jazayerli, blogger and baseball propeller-head of note, went after longtime Royals trainer Nick Swartz, stopping just shy of ripping out the man's heart and waving it at the sun. The team didn't take this so well....

The One With People Drinking And The Return Of The Fanny Cough Yarn-Spinner
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...