ns Page 2358 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pistol-Wielding Old Man Would Like To Play Through
It is super annoying when you're out on the golf course and the group in front of you is playing very slowly, but I was not aware that I had a "moral obligation to destroy" these duffers with hollow-point bullets....

Once Again, Frank Deford Can't Hide His Horny Old Manliness
Frank Deford has always been infatuated with vivacious young tennis stars, so it's not surprising he'd offer his take on the recent ITF grunt ban considerations with a creepy I'm-typing-this-pantsless approach. SportressofBlogitude gives the porny rundown on Deford's latest column....

Landon Donovan Says Spaniards Were Not Gracious Losers.
Donovan told Dan Patrick this morning that the team didn't do the traditional exchange of jerseys after the United States stunned them. He guesses the team was "frustrated." You think? [DPShow]...

Two Sportswriters You Meet In Hell
Yesterday, we shared with you one delightful tale about Phil Mickelson and everyone's favorite deadline Napoleon, Mike Lupica. To this, a SportsJournalists.com anonym has added another — one in which Mitch Albom makes a cameo, and Loopy gets his comeuppance....

The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....

LSU Is Your National Oyster Diving Champions
I believe that's what this sign refers to. No one is really sure what those SEC schools are up to when football isn't in season. [Daily Reveille]...

LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...

L.A.'s World Champion Looters In Action
The Times has video footage of Laker fans looting a convenience store and it's an impressive display of teamwork, precision, and commitment—unlike the actual NBA Finals. [LA Times]...

Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....

American Newspapers Can't Quite Afford Wimbledon Coverage
Filip Bondy reports that only eight papers — the usuals plus, uh, the S.F. Examiner? — sent tennis correspondents overseas, and some aren't even there yet. To be fair, though, that's one reporter for every 6.375 players. [Bondy via TBL]...

Phil Mickelson Ruined Mike Lupica's U.S. Open
Many in sports media have seen New York Daily News writer Mike Lupica's arrogant-little-sonuvabitch-side firsthand, but never has there been a Lupica story that encapsulates the tiny prick's hubris than the one Patrick Sauer witnessed during the U.S. Open....

Spaniards. Yankees. Open Thread.(And The US Is Winning... Won?)
YELL-type or blow that South African bugle or whatever it is you do when important soccer matches are on. Please tell me which soccer locales are live blogging this bitch and I'll add them here too. Cross-cum-shot? [ESPN/UnprofessionalFoul]...

The Superstars Loses Its Superstar
By now you've certainly seen the video of Joanna Krupa going all Terrell Owens on....Terrell Owens (language NSFW), but if you didn't actually watch "The Superstars" last night than you must hate Americana and apple pie, baby....

The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
If you've watched the Confederations Cup, you have no doubt been annoyed by the mysterious buzzing sound that drowns out even the TV announcers. Well, get used to it, because that sound will haunt you throughout next year's World Cup....

Deep Inside The Yankee-Marlin Fan Brawl
We received some new "information" about the Yankee Fan-Marlin Fan fight video you all enjoyed so much, and while we didn't really confirm any of it, it's only fair to (sorta) tell at least one side of the story....

Iran "Retires" Soccer Players Who Went Green
Four players on the Iranian national team have been banned — err, retired — from competition for wearing green wristbands in their Wednesday match. Two others also defied orders to remove the green gear, and their fate is "unknown." [Guardian]...

Kellen Winslow Kindly Requests You Make No More References To Him Being A F*$#ing Soldier
Besides being a talented, but injury-prone tight end, Kellen Winslow is best known for his patriotic tirade against those kamikaze Tennessee Volunteers. But Winslow's less combustible now, so he doesn't appreciate any references to it, even if it's playfully complimentary....

One Sporting Event That's Too Dangerous For Bylines
Chances are, you've never been to Myanmar. And correct me if I'm wrong, but you've also never been to a soccer game in Myanmar, because it's Myanmar, and because it's illegal for five people to gather in the same place....

Why Twitter Is More Fun The Less You Use It
I started my Twitter account while sitting in the Twitter offices in San Francisco, interviewing Twitter head honchos Evan Williams and Biz Stone for this big feature story. I didn't know what Twitter was, though people thought I did....