ns Page 2368 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Melanie Collins Returns To Full-Court Action
So says her Twitter. I guess she didn't get in trouble for those interesting photos of her pants-spelunking. But she's on Game 1 of the Cavs/Magic series....

The Nationals Are Content With Losing As Many Games As Possible This Season, Thank You
Stephen Strasburg, this year's can't-miss baseball prospect, has started 13 games at San Diego State and he's won 12 of them....

Mike Tirico Being Groomed For Bigger, Boomer Things
"In an apparent attempt to make Mike Tirico a younger Chris Berman, ESPN has juggled its lineup, giving its "Monday Night Football" play-by-play voice "a variety of high-profile TV and radio assignments." [Times-Union]...

A Match Made In Barley And Hops
"Hi fellow brewer fans, I am getting married in August and since both of us are diehard crew fans, we are having a brewers themed wedding." Stop right there. Where are you registered and should I bring bottles or cans? [Wrigleyville23]...

Mariotti Offers A Comforting Hand To Kornheiser, Himself
Shouty Jay Mariotti says he'll miss Tony Kornheiser on MNF, a man with whom he feuded cattily for indeterminate reasons over the years. This seems mystifyingly bighearted until you realize he's actually writing about himself....

All Hail The Pathos Of The NBA Draft Lottery
This is a weekly column from Leitch....

Only Terrell Owens Can Cover Terrell Owens
Now that the city of Buffalo is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Terrell Owens, Inc., he's just going to go ahead and do his own sports reports, thank you very much. [WKBW]...

George Brett Is The Gift That Keeps On Cursing
Upset over the rampant criticism of Royals' manager Trey Hillman, the Hall of Famer unloaded on a local tv reporter when asked about it. Total bleeps in this 80 second interview? Five....

Midwesterners Sure Do Love Their Lawn Mowin' T-Shirts
Irked by the loathsome "Zambrano mows my lawn" shirt found on one Cardinals fan a couple weeks ago, the Wrigley faithful come back with their own interpretation....

"The Scott Walker Story" May Need A Different Ending
After he cold-cocked Aaron Ward and scored the series-winning overtime goal against them, Bruins fans probably wished the Hurricanes' Scott Walker would get cancer. Unfortunately for everyone, his wife beat him to it....

Bodybuilders Flee Event When Drug Testers Show Up
The Belgian bodybuilding championships were canceled this weekend after every single competitor suddenly had to be somewhere else and dropped out. I'm sure the unannounced arrival of the doping officials was just a coincidence....

Kenyon Martin and Mark Cuban: Still Bellyaching
Their series is over, but Mark Cuban and Kenyon Martin are still sniping at each other in the press. I think La La should slap them both in the mouth. [Hoops Hype]...

Terrell Owens Makes Buffalo Seem Like An Exciting Place To Live
Terrell Owens has been a Buffalo Bill for all of about six hours, but he's already the most beloved free agent acquisition in the history of football. Although to be fair....we are talking about Buffalo....

Adventures In Ill-Timed Column Topics
Chuck Woodling, Lawrence Journal World & News, May 16, 2009: "Wayman Tisdale always will be remembered as a bit player in one of the ugliest incidents in the history of Kansas University's Allen Fieldhouse." [LJWorld]...

So What Does Jon Gruden Really Think Of His New Employer?
Having a selective memory and no access to Google comes in handy during a job search. That way, when a network hires you to talk football they aren't embarrassed by old quotes like this one....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Jon Gruden Joins "Monday Night Football" Crew. Seriously.
Good news for Kornheiser haters! Tony is officially stepping down as third man in the "Monday Night Football" booth. The slightly more exciting (upsetting? baffling?) news is that Lil' Jon Gruden will take his seat....

The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend
Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts!...

No, The Naked Viking Did Not Win Bay To Breakers
The 98th annual Bay To Breakers race saw a 22-year-old Kenyan break the course record despite usual overabundance of nude weirdos.[NSFWish] [Quirky San Francisco}...