ns Page 2373 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPNU/Time Warner Cable Experiencing Technical Difficulties, Porn (NSFW)
There can't be that many people watching ESPNU at 3:17AM, but on Saturday there was at least one, and he got a little surprise while hunting for a late-night sports fix (very NSFW)....
Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....
Hey Lama, How About A Little Something, You Know, For The Effort?
I don't know jack about Buddhism or karma or any of that noise, but I do know that the Dalai Lama wearing a Patriots hat can't be good for the natural order of things....
The Dolphins Will Play In Landshark Stadium
In an effort to turn Dolphin Stadium into the world's largest Margaritaville. Although it's not expected to draw nearly as many people as the bar's other locations. [Miami Herald]...
Pens Fans Attempt to Distract Capitals With Funny Faces
The Penguins have evened the score with the Capitals at 2-2 in after two periods of play in Washington. In other news, this Pittsburgh fan seems to be quite taken with Washington's coach Bruce Boudreau....
And The Fun Starts Tonight
Mets fans, welcome back to Citizens Bank Park. Tonight is the first game of our meaningless little rivalry that seems to bring out the free-swingers in all of us. First up, El Gonzo, from Philly.com...
The Percy Harvin Era In Minnesota Gets Off To A Rousing Start
From annoyed emailer: "Supposedly percy vomitted on a plane a few times and stayed the night at a hospital in florida. They have tested for swine flu and it came back negative. Again, via KFAN."...
Guy Lefleur's Idiot Son Gets His Old Man In Trouble With The Law
Legendary Montreal Canadien Guy Lefleur was convicted today of basically lying in court to protect his son, which would be sort of honorable if the kid wasn't so clearly a jackass....
Jose Canseco Finds His Calling On The Japanese MMA Circuit
I have seen some crazy things come out of the Japanese entertainment industry—trust me, you don't even know—but the country can make up for all that by having Jose Canseco fight a 7'2" Korean....
This Is Why You Don't Let Coaches On The Field
Did you know that because Arena Football games don't really have sidelines coaches are allowed to stand on the field of play? So everyone knew that one would eventually end up in a wheelchair, right?...
Chris Mortensen's Son Signs With Tennessee, Chris Mortensen Does Not Report
Anonymous sources close to the Titans have told ESPN's Chris Mortensen that the team signed Arkansas fourth-string QB Alex Mortensen as an undrafted free agent. His own son did not return calls requesting comment. [ArkansasBusiness]...
Jason Whitlock's Getting Antsy Again
Jason Whitlock, Fox Sports' professional contrarian and TRUTH-teller, playfully addresses Matt Vasgersian's MLB announcer awkwardness and declares himself "Racial Apology Czar." Oh, and he attacks Deadspin again....
Swine Flu Paranoia Reaches Alabama
Huntsville, Ala.: "Right now, we are being advised by our Medical Advisory Committee to shut down all activities until further notice." [ESPN.com]...
The Legendary Redskins Ticket "Waiting List" That Doesn't Exist
Dan Snyder likes to brag that the waiting list for Redskins season tickets has over 200,000 names on it. Then why is the team begging people who aren't on the list to buy seats?...
This Is Not Alexander Ovechkin's Strip Club Receipt
Like any young rich athlete, Alex Ovechkin likes to have a good time, but there are probably enough actual crazy stories about him out there that people don't need to be making them up....
The War On Braylon Edwards' Manhood
Does Braylon Edwards care more about his image than he does about catching footballs? Because lately it seems that he's not doing a very good job of protecting either one....
Fun Conspiracy Theories About ESPN.com's Pony Attack
Several emailers have pointed out an odd coincidence between ESPN.com's cornification and an interview featuring America's Sideline Princess. We may have our first real suspect....
I Am Now Genuinely Concerned About Tommy Lasorda's Health
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
You Suck, Schuster!
A double in the top of the third ended Patrick Schuster's bid for a fifth consecutive no-hitter. [TampaTribune]...
Matt Vasgersian Speaks!: Not A Racist, Just A Terrible Comedian
"I'm an idiot...Save the racial stuff which is just flat out wrong, almost all of what has been posted on my regrettably horrific timing is spot on...Nobody feels worse about it than I do." [KSK]...