ns Page 2375 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Old Guys Reenact High School Football Game To Settle Unholy 1993 Tie
It's all been done before in the film Best of Times, but never in real life have members of rival high school football teams met more than a decade later to decide ultimate bragging rights....

Girl, 12, Throws Perfect Game, Is Called Up By Mets
The taunting rings in your ears and burns like fire, and will for years. A girl pitched a perfect game against your Little League team, and you struck out three times. Nelson Muntz approves....

ESPN Headline Writers Are Witty Rapscallions
Well isn't that special. But in ESPN's defense, there's probably not a whole lot you can do with news like this. [ESPN]...

Tony Gonzalez Is The New Falconer
Kansas City sends Tony Gonzalez to Atlanta and Matt Ryan for a 2010 second-round pick. You weren't using that were you, Matt Cassel? (Yes, two Falconer references in one day! I win $5!) [USA Today]...

Which Of These Nightmare Fuels Will Be The New St. John's Mascot?
What, no giant talking beer keg? St. John's has a storied and troubled history when it comes to mascots, and the current vote to find a new one is not going to help, it appears....

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

Steve Nash Must Be Stopped Before He Directs Again
In his directorial debut, Steve Nash frolicked with Baron Davis on a tandem bike. Now there's Superbadge, starring Shaquille O'Neal and Alando Tucker as cops. This can't be good for anyone. [NBA.com]...

Football Coach Bans Student Reporters, Takes Gratuitous Shot At Soccer (Update)
Angered over a recent editorial in the school paper, the head football coach at Wisconsin-Whitewater has denied student reporters any access to his team this coming fall....

Detroit's Likely No. 1 Pick May Suffer From Dementia
The Lions are working hard to ink a deal before Saturday's draft with Georgia QB Matthew Stafford—who "indicated he would love to play in Detroit." That's your first warning sign right there. [ESPN]...

NHL Playoffs Operating With Deadly Efficiently
Boston brushed Montreal aside to complete their sweep last night and will see the second-round for the first time in 10 years. (Oh boy! More sports triumphs for Boston!) Meanwhile, we've already forgotten who the Canucks beat 4-0, Columbus neglected to set their alarm clocks for the Detroit series, ...

Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....

NCAA Sanctions Div. I Beach ... Er, Sand Volleyball
Sport to get underway in 2010-11, but NCAA changes name from "beach" to "sand" so that landlocked schools don't get depressed. [ESPN]...

Even Kansas Is Somehow Benefiting From John Calipari's Move
The Henry brothers—high school senior Xavier and his Memphis Tiger sibling, C.J.—are both enrolling at Kansas. (Sources say!) Way to kick a Door when it's down. [Fox, via RTC; more @ SI]...

Oh, Poor Lindsay Soto
Breasts have always been one of the biggest drawbacks for female sports reporters. Show too much, you're a bimbo. Show too little, you'll be replaced by someone who shows too much....

For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....

How Clemens' Retirement May Have Single-Handedly Sunk The Housing Market
At this rate there are going to be more books on Roger Clemens than on Abraham Lincoln ... and why not? Lincoln never kept apartments in 12 different cities for all of his women....

Karen Sypher Speaks (Sort Of)
Karen Sypher, the woman at the center of the bizarre Rick Pitino extortion thingy wants to give her side of the story. Her vague, paranoid, possibly disturbed side of the story....

It Appears Jesse Scroggins Is Sending Secret Messages About His School Of Choice
Jesse Scroggins is one of the most sought after high school quarterbacks in the country, so naturally he has one of those in-depth ESPN prospect pages that outline his strengths, weaknesses, and schools of choice....

The Glorious Return Of The "Superstars"
Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back "Superstars," the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!...

Which Team's Fans Have The Most Trouble With Erectile Dysfunction?
This is a new weekly column from Leitch. It has words, and pictures. It's called Ten Humans Of The Week. It might or might not work. But here it is....