ns Page 2393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seattle Radio Station Wondering If Griffey's Fellatio Offer Still Stands
By all accounts, Ken Griffey Jr.'s return to Seattle has everyone in that rain-dampened vicinity in perpetual euphoria. But then we're reminded that not everyone there loved Junior the first time around....

Horse Racing Has A Danica Patrick? (NSFW)
Yes, this story is fairly old, but this is the first I've seen of Maylan Studart, whom they're calling the Danica Patrick of horse racing. It's about time we had female jockeys....

Tiger's Back
This story actually broke last night, but I was unable to write about it then because I immediately got the vapors, then fell and hit my head, and only just now regained motor function....

Remember, It's An Exhibition, Not A Slam Dunk Competition; Please, No Wagering
One of the many perks of winning the NBA Slam Dunk Competition: You get to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman and attempt a dunk over Biff Henderson....

Illinois, Penn State Try Out Innovative New Square Basketball On Wednesday
Hey, it wasn't me this time: Scott Van Pelt (he's back!) had this to say about Penn State's 38-33 win over Illinois on Wednesday. "Watching Big Ten basketball is like watching fat people have sex."...

Bobcats Overcome Confusing Sign To Beat Pacers
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Griffey Picks Seattle Over Atlanta ... Hard to Picture, I Know
Ken Griffey Jr. returns to the cold, wet embrace of the Emerald City, signing one-year deal reported to be for at least $2 million, plus incentives, according to AP. [NBCSports]...

Jeanine Edwards Realized Her Heart Will Go On Without Billy Gillispie
"After a couple of frosty halftime interviews with Kentucky Coach Billy Gillispie, ESPN sideline reporter Jeannine Edwards declined a third opportunity Tuesday night.'I cut my losses,' said Edwards." [Tennesseean.com] (via SBB)...

So Is Shane Battier Any Good Or Not?
As expected, there's been a lot of talk generated by that Shane Battier piece—talk that will continue until Michael Lewis writes a 10,000-word story about how centers are the smartest guys in football. (They are.)...

Cole Hamels Should Really Not Let His Wife Speak In Public
The Philadelphia Phillies' ace and his wife, former"Survivor" temptress, Heidi Strobel, have decided to use their good fortune and popularity to add the latest Hollywood accessory to their young family: AIDS orphans....

Larry Johnson Goes Chasing Old Waterfalls To Brighten His Dark Days
The Kansas City Chiefs' disgruntled running back Larry Johnson is taking another chance at romance. Hopefully, this new relationship won't end with spit-covered faces or messy restraining orders. His next victim? That TLC lady....

Carlos Beltran Responds To Cole Hamels' "Choke Artist" Comment
"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation." [NYDN]...

Baseball Umpire Doesn't See Anything Wrong Here
Tim McClelland has been calling major league games since before some steroid users were born, and he is a passionate defender of the rules of the game. Unless those rules involve steroids....

'Hot Girls In Scary Places' To Change TV As We Know It
Other so-called advancements in civilization — Archimedes' foundations of hydrostatics, Einstein splitting the atom — pale in comparison to this: E! Entertainment has a new TV show in which USC Song Girls investigate paranormal activity....

Mike Leach May Have Strong-Arm Negotiated Himself Right Out Of A Job
The popular Texas Tech coach didn't sign a contract extension that would pay him $12.7 million and now the university may consider moving on without him. [Dallas Morning News]...

Nobody Came Out Of This A-Rod Mess Unscathed
Even poor Hannah Storm was forced to leave the cozy confines of the Bristol offices and ship her foxy ass down to Tampa to offer outdoor color. I thought she was above sidelining?...

A Michael Vick Defender Anonymously Steps Forward To Offer Perspective
Michael Vick may return to the NFL for the 2009-10 season and The Modern Spectator offers one of the more entertainingly honest takes on this reality. Especially if you value human life over pets....

This Meeting Of The USC Song Girls Will Come To Order
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap.(NSFW)...

Are Spurned Advances The Reason Billy Gillispie Treats Jeanine Edwards Like Crap?
According to Sports By Brooks, the real reason Kentucky head coach Billy Gillispie stiff-armed ESPN's Jeanine Edwards during recent halftime interviews might be because Edwards turned down Gillispie's invitation for a date....

Michael Lewis Gives The NBA Its "Moneyball"
It took me the entire weekend and most of Monday, but I finally got through Michael Lewis' epic deconstruction of Shane Battier, also known as "Moneyball: NBA Edition."...