ns Page 2434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We'll Camp In The Wilderness And In The Morning We'll Breakfast On Its Haunches!
Georgie: Does everything you touch turn to shit? Does this happen to you every time? FH: [weeping] No wonder everybody calls me "Fuck-Head." Georgie: It's a name that's going to stick. FH: I realize that. Georgie: "Fuck-Head" is gonna ride you to your grave. FH: I already said so, I agreed with you ...
Introducing Deadspin Nation's Oleo Hero Of The Week
In some countries, ridiculous and unseemly behavior is punishable by deportation, imprisonment or even death. But in Deadspin Nation, one is simply singled out for ridicule ... then deported, imprisoned or killed. And since this is a democracy, our citizens get to choose. Each Friday, "Deadspin Nati...
Matt Geiger Having Trouble Selling His $20 Million Dollar Mansion
Matt F'in Geiger has a twenty million dollar house? The company that agreed to buy his mansion for $21 million is not following through and now Geiger is suing. If you ever had any doubt that the NBA salary structures are completely out of whack, Matt Geiger is exhibit A. In his ten year NBA career...
Mayhem In The Midwest League
As you probably saw in our morning wakeup video whachamahoozit, the Peoria Chiefs and Dayton Dragons engaged in a pretty nasty brawl at Dayton's Fifth Third Park on Thursday, which even included a civilian casualty. Peoria pitcher Julio Castillo threw a ball at a Dayton player in the dugout, but mis...
Redskins QBs Prepare for Rugged NFC East With Dodgeball
Yeah, dodgeball it's awesome. Let me just say it now, when one of the Redskins quarterbacks inevitably tears his rotator cuff trying to spike another quarterback this will be the dumbest idea in the history of football. Which is really saying something. So enjoy the honeymoon if it exists, Jim Zorn...
The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
Caleb Campbell: The Army's Loss Is The Detroit Lions' Legal Gain?
The Army blew it. They implemented a policy that was designed to draw attention to the unique skills and talents of their servicemen and, in the process, make it easier to recruit soldiers to the Army by attracting positive publicity and media attention. The policy was enacted in 2005 because fillin...
Alexei Ramirez Has A Magical Glove
It's not like White Sox second baseman Alexei Ramirez has gone unnoticed for his hustle and defensive prowess thus far, but come on; this is close to supernatural. Look at this play by Ramirez in the seventh against the Rangers on Wednesday; sleight of hand worthy of the Magic Castle. Wizard Cat gra...
Caleb Campbell: "I Was Left In The Dark"
On Wednesday night word broke that Caleb Campbell, 7th round draft pick out of Army for the Detroit Lions, would not be allowed to play NFL football in the 2008 season. Campbell, a 2nd Lt. who graduated from West Point on May 31 of this year, owed his ability to play in the NFL to a 2005 Army policy...
A Word On The Blacks And Mongolians Story...
The Olympics begin in August, and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see,...
Your 2008 USC Song Girl Scouting Report
The USC Song Girls have already given us so much. We've thrilled to their daring poolside athleticism, shown concern over their reckless abuse of our natural resources, marveled at their bikini greatness, investigated their booties and laughed at their sheer, utter blondness. They even write for ESP...
Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your ...
Kansas Football Players Don't Think 'Our Coach is Phat' Shirts Are Funny
Ditto for 'Our Coach Beat Anorexia.' Kansas football players are so sensitive. They wouldn't last a day in the Iowa Athletic Department. Mark Mangino is svelte in their loving eyes....
Vegas Summer League Is A Fanboy's Wet Dream
Are you a fan of basketball? Do you enjoy traveling to Las Vegas? Do you appreciate young ladies of questionable legality traipsing around in tiny shirts that read "Where Amazing Happens" and very little else? Well then why the fuck would you miss the NBA's Vegas Summer League?...
Apparently, Ravens Offensive Tackle Marshal Yanda Is Also Impervious To Tasers
Yesterday we discovered that Bucs safety Donte Nicholson withstood the first police tasing without being impacted. Now comes the rumor that the Baltimore Ravens bet their teammate Marshal Yanda $1,500 that he couldn't withstand a taser. According to the Baltimore Sun, Yanda collected....
Guy, Yes, Maybe, Guy, Guy (Your Results May Vary)
Having once lived in Westwood for 13 months, one would think that I would have noticed hundreds of UCLA coeds running around in their panties three times a year. But nope. The UCLA Undie Run was news to me when I read about it this morning (is this a relatively new phenomenon?). The latest installme...
Rick Mahorn Still Can't Figure Out How To Talk To Girls
Sadly, last night's brawl between the Los Angeles Sparks and the Detroit Shock will probably be the only storyline that puts the WNBA above the fold for the rest of the regular season. As far as sports melees go, it was monumental; it involved two of the leagues major stars (Candace Parker, Lisa Les...
Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins Remix "Take Me Out To the Ballgame"
Ryan Howard and J-Roll- "Take me out to the ballgame" (Remix) [The Fightins']...
Carson Palmer Loves Ohio State Fans Now
We all know he was being honest when he said Ohio State fans sucked. You can agree or disagree with the statement but at least it was honest. Now, predictably, Palmer has backtracked from his statement and isued a new one regarding Ohio State and their fans. Have we really reached the point where qu...
It Only Takes Three Walls To Confine Your Soul
The office cubicle turns 40 this month, and since so many of our readers work in them, I couldn't let the anniversary pass unheeded. According to Wikipedia, "A cubicle's purpose is to isolate office workers from the sights and noises of an open workspace, the theory being that this allows workers mo...