ns Page 2443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
Sonics Ownership Seems To Be Unable To Delete Old E-Mails
Any mail client has it. Trash can. Deleted items. They all call it something different, but my God, it's right there. A half-terrabyte of data doesn't mean you save every freakin' Twitter message that comes your way. The Seattle Supersonics management might have gotten away with merely being hated i...
At Least One Jew Went On To Become A Video Game Superhero
There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation behind my false sense of superiority. I blame today's retro video game pick, Solomon's Key. You see, every five levels or so were grouped together by a sign of the Zodiac. It started with Aries and moved forward. Aquarius, my birth mascot, was one of...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever…...
Souvenirs, Novelties, Party Tricks
We've tried everything: the embassy, the German government, the consulate. We even talked to the U.N. ambassador. It's no use, we just can't bring our wife to orgasm....
Is Baseball Ready For Its Closeup?
As much as I dislike the idea of umpires with their heads stuck under black hoods to make games even longer, the momentum of force and time may finally be giving baseball instant replay whether we like it or not. Thank you, umpires, for being so consistently, stupidly wrong on outfield home runs cal...
Weep Not For John Terry
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Marlins Break Brandon Webb's Evil Spell
Somewhere in a third-world country, a child is wearing a Brandon Webb 10-0 t-shirt. It looks rather spiffy with his Patriots 19-0 Super Bowl hat, and his New Orleans Hornets foam No. 1 finger. To beat the most unbeatable of pitchers on Wednesday, Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez called for the most de...
Has Jason Taylor Cha-Cha'd His Way Out Of Miami?
According to the latest reports, it appears the Miami Dolphins no longer want any part of defensive end Jason Taylor's suggestive dance moves or his football abilities ever again....
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
Jose Canseco Is Anxiously Awaiting YOUR Email
Not only could you be living in Jose Canseco's home two months from now (it's being foreclosed), but you can stop by and punch him in the mouth to boot. As we learned yesterday, Canseco is promoting a boxing event in Atlantic City, and is currently looking for an opponent to meet him in the ring. Ye...
Celtics Use Rhythm Method, Belichick Craftiness To Beat Pistons
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's still wondering why the Celtics were all up in LeBron's junk last series. When he's not focusing on the sordid past, he can be found mocking the laughable present at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Roger Clemens Probably Won't Be Downloading This Song
Anti-depressant poster girl and Roger Clemens Lolita Mindy McCready is showing she's still willing to steamroll ahead with her country singin' comeback regardless of the big white Rocket-shaped elephant that sits in her living room. McCready posted this YouTube message in an effort to let her remain...
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
And on the second day, Basketbawful gave them a preview of Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Detroit Pistons and the Boston Celtics. And it was good....
Pro Athletes' Coffee-Fetching Aspirations
There's apparently a new trend surfacing in the privileged life of professional athletes: the crappy off-season, low-paying internship. Sure, plenty of athletes over the years have prepared themselves for a life after sports by exploring other opportunities. Many have not....
The Lions Continue To Be A Feel-Good Story In Detroit
Let's see ... how could Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions possibly alienate fans any more than they already have. Hmm. Well, jeez, you know, we just can't think of anything; we can't imagine a conceivable way they could devastate that fan base more completely. Wait, here's one: They could tell their...
Free Darko On Boston-Detroit
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Detroit Pistons series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Back To The Future! (For The Spurs)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who feels like he's watched Spurs-Lakers in the playoffs about a jillion times over the years. Or maybe it's just been Spurs-Whoever. When he's not misremembering his playoff history, he can be found mourning the death of the New Orleans dream at Basketbawfu...
The Spurs' Last Stand?
Basketbawful is here to share his thoughts and insights about tonight's climactic Game 7. So come and let us reason together. Or something....