ns Page 2464 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marlins Won't Care About Winning For Three More Years
It was nice of Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria to arrive to spring training this morning. (He figured how how to TiVo that America's Next Top Model this morning.) And he sure has some big, I mean BIG, plans for this Marlins team in the next few years....

B! G! Won! Somehow!
Down goes Kent State! Down goes Kent State! The 23rd ranked Golden Flashes went into Bowling Green and lost 89-83, mainly because Brian Moten and Joe Jakubowski would love to dance with your dates. If you can believe it, Bowling Green basketball has won four straight games against ranked basketball ...

Don't Throw Water Bottles In The Desert
Storming the Floor mentioned this yesterday, and now we have the moving picture evidence of the water bottle heave during the Arizona-USC game on Thursday night....

FAMU + Athletics = Crazy
So this probably needs to be addressed: Florida A&M freshman quarterback Michael Johnson was arrested today after he admitted that he lied about being attacked at gunpoint in his dorm room. And no one is sure why he did it....

You're Not Going To Do It For Free
Well, you know Chick, like old momma said, next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. Every town had somebody who thinks he's tough as a nickel steak; but, they all come to old Speed for the do-re-mi....

Barry Bonds Is Not A Good Influence On Terrell Owens
Here's video from TMZ of Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens partying it up in Vegas. I'm not sure what the green liquid is — TMZ says it's absinthe — but it's clear that Owens is not a fan. This is exactly how I imagined a night out with Bonds would go. "Here, drink this! Don't worry about what's in it; ...

Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns
I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir."...

Kevin Borseth Is Quite Passionate About Offensive Rebounding
You may not care about women’s basketball, but don’t say that around Michigan coach Kevin Borseth. He’s, um, into the game. And as you may have picked up from this clip, he thinks that offensive rebounding is rather important. Not sure if he’s ranting at his players or at the officiating here, but e...

Nicole Manske Will One Day Rule The World
So you probably new that NASCAR has its own Erin Andrews (although I prefer the original). But did you know that Nicole Manske has her sights set on the NFL? Manske, a former Miss Illinois Teen USA and native of Rockton, Ill. (where she was a high school cheerleader on the same squad with Danica Pat...

Kick His Ass, New Sea Bass!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....

The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case
I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking s...

The Favre Retirement Snafu Mystery
So, honestly, what in the name of fucking Florio happened today with the Packers.com very brief, yet very public screw-up regarding Brett Favre's retirement? About an hour ago, the Packers PR monkeys fessed up to the whole situation, telling Dennis Dillon at The Sporting News that, "The people who h...

Bill Walton, Will Ferrell Are Superbad
Here's Will Ferrell playing Bill Walton in a game of horse ... a sentence I never thought I'd ever type. As Dogs That Chase Cars says, Ferrell actually shoots the rock pretty damn well. And Walton looks at home in that uniform, doesn't he? (Sarcasm: The anti-drug)....

Congress Decides That It's Time ... For The Comfy Chair!
I know that this isn't the favorite part of your day, but it must be done: Here's your Roger Clemens update. Noting direct contradictions in testimony given by Clemens to a congressional committee in a private hearing on Feb. 5 and at a public hearing on Feb. 13 regarding steroids, congressional lea...

The Lockview Dragons Have Some Meat Between Their Buns
A Canadian high school hockey coach was fired on Wednesday when it was discovered that some of his players changed their bio information in the team program. Kevin Brown of Lockview High was dismissed when some parents complained about the program. So, did the players pad their stats, or taunt the o...

Jon Stewart Still Won't Use His Hands
Long before he was hosting the Oscars or beating up Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart was a Whirling Dervish on the soccer field for William & Mary....

Roger Clemens Is Not An Animal!
Roger Clemens arrived in Kissimmee, Fla., on Tuesday to, well, work out I guess. Why is Clemens welcome at Astros training camp while Barry Bonds is universally shunned? Answer: A). Clemens has two functioning knees, B). Bonds is not a Republican, C). Clemens gives better quotes, or D). All of the a...

Sean Salisbury, Moving On Down That Road, Man
To the casual ESPN viewer, it must have seemed confusing that Sean Salisbury, the former Vikings quarterback who once actually sported a fade, would be one of the most prominent NFL analysts on the world's biggest sports media enterprise. Sean Salisbury? That guy? Really?...

You Don't Know What You've Got, 'Til It's Gone
Yes. We've heard. We'll discuss tomorrow....