ns Page 2512 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Cannot Destroy Priest Holmes
Of all the possible ways for a retired athlete to deal with the crushing blow of realizing that the only skill he's ever possessed is suddenly beyond his grasp, we supposed an "ill-fated comeback attempt" is above "winning 'Dancing With The Stars'" ... but just barely....

Fausto, Sans Devil, Beats Beckett
Faustus is Latin for "auspicious" ... so Fausto must mean the same thing, maybe? My spanish is not adequate. Remember when the Indians wanted to make Fausto Carmona a closer? Oh, those wacky coaches. The last time Carmona faced the Red Sox — last season — he blew two consecutive save opportunities. ...

When An Old Athlete Is Put Out To Stud
Nothing in sports makes us feel older than when an athlete retires; often, we remember when they first came into the league, and realize that an entire career has passed while we slowly lurched closer to death. It's an uplifting feeling....

Will Everyone Be Out To Get Vick?
Our man Mr. Mexico might never make it back on an NFL field again, but if he does, he might find that he needs to be extra elusive. Not only are opposing dog-loving players going to be digging in to knock the guy into the nearest kennel, but even his own teammates might not have his back....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Baseball America's Jim Callis: Hey, why is Selig following me around? I haven't hit any home runs. • 4 p.m. ArenaBowl XXI w/Gary Horton: Your use of roman numerals for this is IX kinds of stupid. • 6 p.m. Beyond 756 w/Amy Nelson...

Burn, Vick Jersey, BURN
We know this is usually on Chandler's Minor Enterprise beat, but it's Tuesday, and that doesn't run until Friday. So we're grabbing it: The minor league baseball world is capitalizing on Mr. Mexico's troubles....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Author Jonathan Mahler: Bo-ok? How ... how do you turn it on? • 2 p.m.. ESPN Special with Tom Brokaw: What did he say? It sounds like he has pebbles in his mouth. Hank Owen did what? • 3 p.m. Fantasy sports with Matthew Berry: De...

You Had A Bucket? Luxury!
Who among us hasn't locked their young child in his room with a loaf of bread and a bucket and then gone off to watch the Packers at an Indian casino? (Long pause). Um, anyone? Cripes, this is embarrassing....

Will We Ever See Vick Play Again?
Allow us to make a small prediction: After NFL commissioner Roger Goodell's decision to ban Michael Vick from training camp yesterday, effectively putting him in an odd purgatory of not being suspended but not being allowed to play either, we will never see Michael Vick play a game for the Atlanta F...


Selig Won't Watch, But We'll Have To
Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. MLB with Steve Phillips: How come no juicy mob-related umpiring scandals? • 2 p.m. ESPN150 with Tom Luginbill: Just pray that you are among the ESPN 150. All others shall perish! • 4 p.m. Honda Indycar 200 Winner: Does this sound...

Why Can't They Just Leave Poor Michael Vick Alone?
Well, now that legal expert Emmitt Smith has weighed in on the Michael Vick situation — saying the feds are just leaning on Vick to get "to everyone else," though we're trying to figure out who's more involved that the guy who slammed a dog into the ground until he died, we can wrap the whole matte...

Hope Can Be Found In The Heart Of Miguel Batista
Kids, if you're having trouble in your current relationship, if you and your significant other are finding it difficult to communicate with each other, if you're feeling the spark slowly drain away ... well, only two people can save you. David Copperfield, and Miguel Batista....

This Donaghy Situation Is Not Likely To Improve
Some may believe this scandal isn't as large as it seems, but we have to disagree. Donaghy, who's scheduled to give himself up to the feds as early as today or tomorrow, might very well spill the beans about some other scandals, and if this thing explodes any farther, well, the whole league could be...

No Bonds For You!
As you may have noticed, Barry Bonds is being held out of the final game of San Francisco's series at Milwaukee (in progress). So it looks like he won't be making any progress towards Henry Aaron's prized record on my watch. Oh well, I'll just have to keep staring at my Arizona State throwback jerse...

Sergi...NO! (Do You See What I Did There?)
Holy shit. My boy Paddy Harrington did everything he could to hand Sergio Garcia his first Major Championship. He even hit a ball into the burn on the last hole...twice! When Garcia stepped on to the 18th tee he knew he needed par to take home the (Maurice) Claret Jug. You just had to know he'd find...

You Didn't Have To Be Kreskin To See This Coming
We're past the halfway point in the final round of the Open Championship and Sergio Garcia is slowly working his way back to the field. Either he's simply trying to add some drama to the final nine holes at Carnoustie or he really is going to blow it in epic fashion. So far he's given two stokes bac...

Sergio Garcia Retains Lead At Carnoustie; Enjoys a Michelob
The last time The Open Championship strolled through Carnoustie Sergio Garcia looked like a an overwhelmed high school player who struggled to break 90 both days. Eight years later he's back in Scotland and he's just one round away from becoming this year's wire-to-wire champion. There's no question...

Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...