ns Page 2552 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
I slept late. What's the news on Corso's wang today? - Tuffy Rhodes...
Own Pac-Man's Car!
As anyone who has dealt with the difficult nature of car salesmen, you sometimes just don't know whom to trust. Fortunately, there's one place you know you can find a good deal on all your automobile needs: Buying cars that were once owned by troubled NFL players and have now been repossessed and ...
Cue The Sun!
We've become bored with watching actors give us phony emotions. We are tired of pyrotechnics and special effects. While the world he inhabits is, in some respects, counterfeit, there's nothing fake about Truman himself. No scripts, no cue cards. It isn't always Shakespeare, but it's genuine. It's a ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for todays ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. NCAA FB with Bruce Feldman: Great win, but BCS is saying: "Frankly Scarlet Knights, we don't give a damn." • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: What does it say about me if my opponent is wearing oven mitts? • 3 p.m.. Mid-majors w/Ky...
If They Had To, Most Athletes Could Shoot You Where You Stand
You know, we love sports. (News, we know.) But you know what would make us love sports more? If more players were armed....
NBA Roundup: I Read The NOOCH Today, Oh Boy
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon: NBA with Chad Ford: Threatening to sue if the refs don't quit calling technicals? Why didn't I think of that in high school? • 2 p.m. MLS with Pat Onstad: Do you really think that David Beckham will come to the U.S., what with ou...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Football with Mel Kiper: Didn't you call the House majority for the Republicans? • 2 p.m. Tennis with Peter Bodo: If catching askance glances up Elena Dementieva's skirt while fulfilling my ball boy duties is wrong, I don't want...
How To Get Kicked Off Your Team
We know this is from yesterday, but we needed to wrap 'er up, if just because it involves Kansas coach Bill Self, who wears the worst toupee we've seen in college sports yet is seemingly never called on it. (Yes. We're Illini people. We're still a little annoyed.)...
Of Swann Songs And Quarterback Sneaks
Do sports and politics mix? As Keith Olberman pointed out on MSNBC Tuesday night, apparently not so much. Lynn Swann? Dead. Jim Ryun? Dead. Michael Steele? Dead. Niedermeier? ......
Hey, It's An Excuse To Take A Long Lunch
This helpful graphic here serves to make Deadspin as the 40,000th place already today to remind you that it's Election Day, your opportunity to stand in line with blue-haired woman to cast a vote that won't count, will likely not be noticed and will only serve to remind you of the meaninglessness of...
Throwing An Intern To The Wolves
We've never done this before — to start this off like a Penthouse Letter — but we are here to put out an open call for an intern. This is not because we need someone to fetch us our slippers or to ejaculate as a result of oral stimulation, though, all told, neither of those are necessarily horrible ...
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: Barry Bonds to the Cardinals? Is this what they call karma? • 1 p.m. NFL with Matt Williamson: No matter how hard I try, I can't get any of my Madden players to apply a knee to the groin. Suggestions? • 2...
Lonnie Smith Wanted To Shoot John Schuerholz
We had heard that Lonnie Smith, the former Cardinals and Braves outfielder whose frenetic baserunning was almost as breathtaking as watching him try to play defense (Bill James once pointed out that Smith "really does fall down almost every game), had battled some drug problems back in the late '80s...
NBA Roundup: Return Of The Donald
Taking a look at Monday's action in the National Basketball Association:...
We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 3 p.m. NCAA FB with Mark Schlabach: We're worried about him, but we still think it would be great to see JoePa zooming along the sideline on his Rascal scooter. • 3 p.m. WNCAA with Charlie Creme: We love these Title IX mandated chats, ...
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...
NFL Roundup: Bears Down!
• Hey, so what did happen to the Bears yesterday? We know they had trouble handling the Buzzsaw, but hey, who doesn't? Losing at home to the Dolphins is not the type of thing that's gonna make people feel all that positively about an all-Midwest Super Bowl. Wasn't Rex Grossman good at the beginnin...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Other than the Michigan close call against Ball State and Joe Paterno's osteoporosis, it hasn't been that eventful of a day in college football. The biggest game of the day, at least in terms of national rankings, is happening on CBS right now: Tennessee leads LSU 10-7 very early in the third quarte...