ns Page 2554 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
I didn't go to sleep tonight playing online poker and am down $350. So I decided to put $350 on Michigan State over Indiana through Bodog. I am not a relaxed camper right now. - Dynamic Hispanic...

Workin' The Merkin
I couldn't wait for the first Hugh Johnson Update to get this up. What you see above, courtesty of Longhorn Nation, is a sign that accuses Lee Corso of wearing a "merkin." A merkin, for the uninitiated, is... well, I'll let Wikipedia explain:...

Twenty Four Years Isn't 1918 or 1908 ... But It's A Pretty Long Time
In 1982, we were six years old — we turned seven during the World Series — and could care less about baseball. The principal once called our parents because he thought it was weird that we were reading "Mom, The Wolfman and Me" during recess instead of playing kickball. (And that factoid, surely, wi...

The Scary Kind Of Skullcap
Not that many days left until Halloween, and in the tradition of the great Randy Moss mask, we happily introduce you to the Chad Johnson Mohawk Head Piece....

Don't Get Up Until You're Numb
We're gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. MLB with Keith Law: What is your prediction for ... dang it, the grounds crew is now covering me with a tarp. Mmmfff! • 3 p.m. Devils' G Martin Brodeur: Is jock frostbite a big problem? • 4 p.m. NCAA FB with Todd Blackledge: Ever...

They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take OUR PENIS!
Indiana police and Purdue campus security will be keeping a sharp eye on the student section at Ross Ade Stadium on Saturday. Why? This letter, received by the Purdue student newspaper on Tuesday, should explain things:...

How Freddie Spent His Weekend
In case you were wondering what former Philadelphia Eagles shitball Freddie Mitchell is up to ... he's out taunting fans at UCLA games from the stands! Hey, sure beats playing; we understand, Freddie....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Figure skater Kimmie Meissner: Aren't you tired of getting hit on by all the male figure skaters? ... Hello? Anyone there? • 2 p.m. MLS with Josmer Altidore: How many times are you and your teammates planning to kick David Beckh...

Lynn Swann Brings Many Skills To The Political Table
Not to bring up politics again, but as many as you know, former Steelers Hall of Famer Lynn Swann is running for governor of Pennsylvania. As anyone who has ever spent time in the general vicinity of the great city of Pittsburgh, part of your duties as political candidate is to play beer pong with y...

Like A Bat Out Of Hell, We'll Be GONE When The Morning Comes!
Because we are a badass road cannon of destruction, we are zooming through the Midwest this week in a silver Chevy Cobalt. (We went to a motocross event in Taylorville, Ill., over the weekend and showed up in this car; this in no way caused us to be mocked, nope.) It's looking incredibly unlikely ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: If Big Ben is the one with two concussions, why are my ears ringing? • 2 p.m. NHL with Scott Burnside: What are the chances that the Sabres will finish the season undefeated? • 3 p.m. NCAA FB with Bean...

We Have Ways Of Making Your Mascot Talk
Oh, those crazy Ivy Leaguers. What won't they do in the name of ribald gridiron revelry?...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: Is it true that if you watch a play for too long, Jon Miller reaches over and steals your sandwich? • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: Now, pine tar in your shorts, that's a whole different violation, ri...

That'll Be All, Bill
You know, it's funny: The Dallas Cowboys' season appears to be disintegrating, and even though Terrell Owens had to go so far as to try to kill himself to derail the team, he seems to be the least of their problems....

Swiftboat Veterans For Truth In Girls High School Basketball
Welcome to Castro Valley, Calif., home of former MLB All-Star Ed Sprague, Jacksonville Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio and Lord of the Rings special effects supervisor Randy Cook. If planning to visit, please be advised that many of the adults there are several different kinds of crazy....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 3 p.m. World Series with Steve Phillips: IIIts haaaard to tppe withhh pynnne tarrr omn yur fiiiingesrs. • 3:30 p.m. AFC West w/Jeremy Green: Shouldn't you be going through the want ads with your dad? • 4 p.m. ESPN's Howie Schwab: Sorry...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
I've had 14 beers, 3 shots, and smoked a joint, and i sound less drunk thank Mike Gottfried. - nator76...

I Don't Think This Is What Lil' Jon Had In Mind
Illinois, despite holding a second half lead, couldn't hold on to beat Penn State today, but if you're an Illini fan, take heart. At least it wasn't your fans in that video....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
So the Duke band apparently staged a "brawl" at the Miami game... any video out there? - Holly...