of Page 280 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plank Fight
Sun Tzu probably had some quote about using the weapons you have available to you to defeat your opponent on the battlefield or whatever, and while I don’t know about any of that apocryphal bullshit, I can say with 100 percent certainty that these two ruddy English lads embody the spirit of resource...
The Laws Of War Are Still Trying To Solve The Quandary Of Legal Nukes
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
A Bunch Of People Close To The Saints Desperately Want Roger Goodell To Step In And Screw This Up
Late Thursday afternoon, Benjamin Watson put out an all-too-serious complaint about the blown pass interference/unnecessary roughness call the Saints didn’t get in the NFC Championship matchup against the Rams. In a screenshot posted on Twitter, Watson called on commissioner Roger Goodell to step i...
Let's Just Keep Doing This Shit Forever!
There’s no sense in waiting for it at this point. The New England Patriots, who have been shitting up the mid-winter for sports fans throughout this entire terrible millennium, are not remotely close to going away, not any more than, say, measles or famine are close to going away. They’re a problem,...
Dipshit Philly Columnist: I Know Roy Halladay's Desires Better Than His Wife And Family
Brandy Halladay, the widow of Hall of Fame pitcher Roy Halladay, announced Wednesday her family’s decision to have Roy’s bust in Cooperstown feature a blank cap, representing neither the Toronto Blue Jays nor the Philadelphia Phillies. The Halladays figure this way Roy can represent “something to a...
The Video Of Mariano Rivera Getting The Call From Cooperstown Is So Great
For all its oversights, Hall of Fame announcement day is a day of joy. As a fan, it’s a day to remember great players, and how much fun it was to watch them play, and, if you were lucky enough to root for a team of an inductee, to remember the specific moments that player brought you the deepest, pu...
Roy Halladay's Hats, Ranked
The late Roy Halladay earned a well-deserved first-ballot nod from the BBWAA on Tuesday, with 85.4 percent of voters enshrining him in the Baseball Hall of Fame. The two-time Cy Young winner Halladay enters Cooperstown with 203 career wins, 2,117 strikeouts, 64.3 WAR, and a whole lotta hats worn, as...
Barry Bonds And Roger Clemens Not Elected To Baseball Hall Of Fame
For the seventh straight year, the greatest hitter of all time and the greatest pitcher of his era will not be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens received 59.1 and 59.5 percent of the vote, respectively, short of the 75 percent needed to enter Cooperstown....
Kyle Korver Attempts To Inbound Airball, Laughs At His Own Goof
It’s open season on any clown shooting higher than 41 percent from three. The newest victim is old man Kyle Korver, who either thought this ball had already landed out or believed Damian Lillard’s airball had actually gone in, because he grabbed the ball and immediately stepped out as if to inbound....
What Story Does The Baseball Hall Of Fame Want To Tell?
The National Baseball Hall of Fame is a museum commemorating a particular professional iteration of an old American game; the long room of bronze plaques featuring the ballplayers that various groups of voters have decided over the years have sufficient “fame” is a part of it, but also something ver...
Football Needs Blown Calls
To head off the inevitable whataboutism: Yes, the Rams got hosed too, by multiple missed penalties. But none of those were as blatant, as obvious in realtime, or as directly would have changed the outcome of the game, as the missed pass interference by Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman on Saints...
Todd Gurley Says He Didn't Play Much Because He Was "Sorry As Hell"
One of the weirdest things that happened during yesterday’s conference championship games was the disappearance of Rams star running back Todd Gurley. The franchise running back had a career-low five total touches from scrimmage, and spent most of the game standing on the sideline. His absence from ...
Tony Romo's Predictive Powers Are A True Marvel
Tony Romo’s ability to sit in the broadcast booth and accurately predict what’s about to happen on the field is something we’re all familiar with, but it was still hard not to impressed by the run he went on during the fourth quarter of the AFC Championship game, which earned him the nickname “Romos...
The Only Thing That Can Ruin A Great Football Game Is Football
NFL fans could not have asked for a better pair of conference championship games. The four best teams in the league had all advanced, and the two remaining games promised to feature beautiful, high-scoring football played by some of the best young and old players the league has to offer. We got some...
Tom Brady Forgets Question, Drops F-Bomb On Live TV
Postgame interviews with athletes on the field are almost always boring. The interviewer usually doesn’t ask anything of interest, the athlete on the other end of those questions is spent after playing a whole game and generally doesn’t have much to say anyway. Every once in a while something fun ha...
Fuck This Fucking Shit
The Patriots beat the Chiefs 37-31 in an overtime instant classic at Kansas City, clinching the AFC title and a Super Bowl berth against the Rams. Tom Brady engineered long drives down the field at the end of regulation and in overtime—both of which ended with rushing touchdowns by Rex Burkhead....
Julian Edelman’s Fingertips Taketh, Giveth, Taketh Away<em></em>
Julian Edelman’s hands ruled the most consequential sequence so far in tonight’s AFC title game. First, down 17-14, the Chiefs punted to the Patriots receiver, who appeared to muff the punt and set Kansas City up for a prime scoring opportunity. It seemed like to me on the replay that he did touch t...
There's Only One Way This Could Get Worse
It is absolutely rotten that the Saints’ season was ended at least in part by two blown pass interference calls, including an inexplicable one in the last two minutes. Rams corner Nickell Robey-Coleman, who smashed Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis in the head while the ball was in the air, said of the...