of Page 342 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Isaiah Thomas's Sister Killed In Saturday Morning Car Accident
Police say a woman killed this morning in a one-car accident north of Tacoma is Chyna J. Thomas, the 22-year-old sister of Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas....
Matt Calvert Suspended One Game For Cross-Check On Tom Kuhnhackl<em></em>
Blue Jackets winger Matt Calvert will miss the next game of Columbus’s inevitable sweep at the hands of Pittsburgh after levying a stick-breaking cross-check on the Penguins’ Tom Kuhnhackl as last night’s 4-1 bruising came to a merciful end....
A Very Timely And Comprehensive 2017 NBA Playoffs, Uh, "Preview," Part 1
Hello fellow sports enthusiasts! It’s that time again: World Art Day. But also, the NBA playoffs, the best* postseason tournament of all, begin today. Another thing that began today: My work on this playoff preview blog! Let’s run down the first-round series that are starting this afternoon: the sto...
The Capitals Can Unclench
Weird things happen in the playoffs. After just two days we’ve seen game-winning goals from the unlikeliest players, including Tanner Glass, Joel Edmundson, Melker Karlsson, and Tom Wilson. And last night, with the Cup-favorite Caps facing the pressure and desperately needing an OT winner against To...
Tom Wilson Overtime Goal Gives Capitals 1-0 Series Lead
The much-anticipated Toronto-Washington first round matchup is meeting expectations, as tonight’s Game 1 went to overtime after the Capitals erased a 2-0 first period deficit and eventually prevailed after Tom Wilson knocked down a clearance attempt and fired it past Frederik Andersen 5:15 into OT....
The White House Does Not Like Your Sport
A reporter lobbed a softball to Sean Spicer and asked whether President Trump would be rooting for the New York Rangers (Donald’s home state) or Washington Capitals (the team representing D.C.) in the NHL playoffs. The stooge did not provide a pick....
Oilers Fans Were Ready For This
May as well put this up top: The Sharks came back from a 2-0 deficit to win 3-2 in overtime, and were the better team by miles after the first period, outshooting Edmonton 44-19 in their Game 1 win. Despite a late-season slump, San Jose is the better team in this series, and I bet we’re going to hav...
Suddenly, Fleury
Unexpected goalies have a history in Pittsburgh. They probably don’t get that first Cup back in ‘91 if Frank Pietrangelo hadn’t stepped in for an injured Tom Barasso and robbed Peter Stastny. Johan Hedberg was a career minor leaguer before leading the Penguins to the conference finals in 2001 and be...
The Miami Heat Are Probably Screwed, And That Sucks
Tonight, the last night of the NBA’s regular season, will settle the Eastern Conference’s seventh and eighth playoff seeds, the last two unsettled spots in the postseason. The Miami Heat, currently sitting in ninth thanks to tiebreakers, can claim one of those spots, technically, but almost certainl...
The Nets Are Resting Players Against The Bulls For Some Reason <em></em>
The old, terrible, hopeless Brooklyn Nets, who are dead last in the entire league with an embarrassing 20-61 record, have announced they will sit six of their players in their last game against the Chicago Bulls on Wednesday night, including starters Jeremy Lin and Brook Lopez, as well as bench guy ...
Yoenis Cespedes Laid A Historic Whooping On The Phillies
Golf enthusiast Yoenis Cespedes has the great fortune of playing against Phillies pitching this week and he made the most of it tonight. Clay Buchholz started for Philly this evening and his troubles began immediately, as Cespedes crushed a bambinazo to bring in three runs before the Phillies had ev...
Leaked Voicemail: Phil Mickelson Plans To Hustle Suckers For "Some Serious Cash"<em></em>
Phil Mickelson is the same guy on the golf course as off, meaning that he gambles no matter where he is. Wherever Phil lays his bets is his home....
What Year Is It?
What the hell is going on, here? I thought the show about the guys breaking out of prison ended like eight years ago. Now I am seeing commercials that are all like This Tuesday ... [grim men looking at each other through chain-link fence] ... on Fox ... [sooty-faced men being serious] ... you can ne...
Dumb Shining Moment: Your 2017 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
This year’s edition of Dumb Shining Moment features everybody’s favorite athletes; the men we paid money (to CBS sponsors) to see; the men who really ought to go pro in something other than sports....
The Roman Empire Was Brought Down By Structural Rot
One way of telling the story of the fall of the Roman Empire is to examine the lives and personalities at the very top of the political spectrum, the emperors, generals, court officials, and kings at the center of power who made the life-and-death decisions that reverberated throughout the Roman wor...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
Reporter Embarrasses Himself And America At Bastian Schweinsteiger Press Conference
As an American soccer fan, this video of an oblivious reporter quite confidently asking Bastian Schweinsteiger, new to MLS’s Chicago Fire, whether Chicago can be expected to win the goddamn World Cup is almost too painful to sit through....
God Help Me, I Don't Like The New <i>Legend Of Zelda</i> Game
Breath of the Wild, the latest installment in Nintendo’s beloved Legend of Zelda series, has received basically universal acclaim since its release back at the beginning of this month. If the still-early reception were to crystallize today, it would go down as one of the most widely and ecstatically...
Ahead For 9,400 Meters, Joshua Cheptegei Wobbles To Finish At World Cross Country Championships
With 2,000 meters left in the weekend’s World Cross Country Championship, 20-year-old Ugandan Joshua Cheptegei was leading the most important race of his young life, in front of the home crowd. The glory was his; he had almost 50 meters on pre-race favorite and cross country legend Geoffrey Kamworor...