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<i>Parks And Recreation</i> Characters, Ranked
Alright, let's do this....
This Is The Best Seasonal Beer
If there's one thing the self-appointed guardians of the Craft Beer Movement™ like to complain about, it's aardvarks and the noise pirates make and every single other goddamn thing up through zymurgy its very blessed self. As I've noted here before, it's entirely possible that the knitting communi...
How To Make Soft-Boiled Eggs: A Minute To Learn, Two Minutes To Master
The weird thing about soft-boiled eggs is the widespread misconception that they're so much trickier to make than their hard-boiled brethren. Done right, they're really not much trickier at all. Easier than stuffing 1,200 words of padding into an instructional blog post about making them, that's for...
MLB Will Speed Up Games In 2015 With A Between-Innings Timer
As reported yesterday, MLB, the players' union, and the umpires' union have agreed on three rule changes to be implemented immediately, all with the express purpose of—and, I believe, a very good chance of—stopping baseball games from taking so damn long. It's official now, and we have the details....
Report: MLB Will Implement Three New Rule Changes To Speed Up Games
The verdict from Major League Baseball's pace-of-game committee is in, and according to Fox Sport's Ken Rosenthal, tomorrow MLB will announce three rule changes designed to speed up games:...
A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...
New Tricks From An Old Virginia Brewer
By now, everyone has figured out that February is the longest month of the year. The Man had a nice little run of fooling us with his calendar games, but we don't fall for those cheap math tricks anymore; we're all well aware that the 28 days of February are each at least 50 hours long....
Lolo Jones Has Some Thoughts About <i>Fifty Shades Of Grey</i>
Lolo Jones, a famous virgin, is sick and tired of all you heathens failing to understand what God created sex for....
How To Suck Up To Your Terrible Boss
In the abyss of degradation that is the modern office, pretending to respect your boss is one of the more difficult tasks you might face. He or she controls your paycheck, dictates what hours you're chained to your desk, and calls pointless meetings just to hear his own voice with different acoust...
How To Clean Up Every Mess Depicted In <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>
Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good book. The story essentially boils down to two boring people engaged in a boring contract negotiation, punctuated by seemingly endless rounds of shower/bathtub sex and a few light spankings. It's really very, very dull stuff....
After The Fall: Sympathy For The Devil
What do Dave Pell, Don Van Natta Jr, and Longform all have in common? They all singled out Brin-Jonathan Butler's stellar SB Nation Longform piece on Mike Tyson and Cus D'Amato:...
Penn State Students Chant "No Means No" At Maryland's Dez Wells
Yesterday, Maryland traveled to Happy Valley to play and ultimately defeat Penn State. It was a hard-fought game that went down to the wire, but perhaps the most interesting moment came midway through the first half, when Terps senior star Dez Wells went to the foul line....
Gronk Hangs Out At The Beach, Hits On Local News Reporter
The Summer of Gronk continues in Florida, as self-aware lump of protein powder Rob Gronkowski avoids the buttload of snow in New England, chills at the beach, throws the f-ball around (that's slang for football), and does some 'shups (that's slang for pushups)....
Whip It Good: <i>Fifty Shades of Grey, </i>Reviewed
1. I've never read the book Fifty Shades of Grey, but I'm fairly certain this film is the best possible adaptation of the material. From the looks of it, the 2011 erotica sensation seems not only to lack any semblance of a story, but even the backbone of one—as if author E.L. James never really th...
And Now, Russell Wilson Reviews <i>Fifty Shades Of Grey</i>
Russell Wilson saw Fifty Shades of Grey last night, and he has some thoughts....
Cow Headbutted, Probably To Death
Fair warning: if you click play on the video above, you are going to see a ram headbutt a cow, and I'm pretty sure the cow dies. The cow might just be knocked out, but it could also be dead! What's important is that you now have all the information necessary to make an informed decision about whethe...
Idol Makers: How Steve And Ed Sabol Turned NFL Films Into An Empire
Originally published in the Sept. 1996 issue of Philadelphia Magazine, and reprinted here with the author's permission....
Is This Really The World's Best Beer?
The Beer Internet likes to be angry. The same could be true of many other special-interest groups, but I suspect the problem is particularly acute in the online beer world, because of our high concentration of relatively affluent white dudes who aren't comfortable having their opinions challenged. O...
Mike Florio Calls Out David Letterman For Being A Comedian
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was a guest on The Late Show last night, and the segment was lighthearted and puffy, as are most of the interviews David Letterman conducts on his show. Obviously, Letterman made some jokes about the Ballghazi scandal, because David Letterman is a comed...