of Page 544 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

PSU Students Will Be Able To Indulge In Their Heartbreak At Tonight's Drake Show
It is a proven equation by now that when distraught college students face difficult times, they turn to cheap liquor or light beer and music by Drake....

The Strange Details Of The Phone Call That Made Joe Paterno's Termination Official
When Joe Paterno emerged from his house on McKee Street last night to address the gathered students and supporters, he mentioned, as he struggled to thank them for showing up, a phone call: "I'm out of it, maybe, now," he said. "That phone call put me out of it. But we'll go from there, OK?"...

Watch All 22 Uncomfortable Minutes Of The PSU Trustees' Presser Announcing Joe Paterno's Dismissal
John Surma, CEO of U.S. Steel and vice chairman of Penn State's Board of Trustees, sat through a hell of a press conference this evening. The gathered media did not practice anything resembling neutrality—wait until after Surma makes the initial statement for things to heat up—and it ended with lo...

Penn State Students Flip Over A TV News Van In Solidarity With Incompetent, Morally Complicit Old Relic
Via @jon_wertheim, whose feed is worth following if you're into campus vandalism....

Joe Paterno's Coaching Career Is Over
Per Jim Gardner of 6ABC in Philly, the Penn State Board of Trustees has voted to remove Joe Paterno immediately. Longtime assistant coach Tom Bradley will take over as Paterno's interim replacement. A press conference is scheduled to begin any minute. We will update accordingly. [@Jim_Gardner]...

<em>New York Times</em> Reports Penn State Ready To Oust Paterno
The Times's Happy Valley duo just dropped this report: "Joe Paterno's tenure as coach of the Penn State football team will soon be over, perhaps within days or weeks, in the wake of a sex-abuse scandal that has implicated university officials, according to two people briefed on conversations among t...

Julio Jones Makes Incredible Catch, Is Having His Own Game Of The Century Against The Colts
Julio Jones checks in early with today's first wild plays. ...

LSU-Alabama Was The Worst Game Ever
Your morning roundup for November 6, the day we learned how to make our own sea salt. Image via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Waiting Is Over: LSU-Alabama Open Thread
Lee Corso trolled the shit out of the Alabama student body. Kirk Herbstreit styled on set with the Bear Bryant hat. Brian Wilson...exists in this world to annoy everyone....

How Many Times Have We Farted In Human History? A Very Rough Calculation
I was sitting next to my friend on a bus the other day. He farted. It got us thinking: How many farts have there been in human history?...

Even Criminal Lobbyist Jack Abramoff Lectured Dan Snyder About The Redskins Name, Likening It To "The New York Jew Boys"
Scumbag lobbyist and George Bush leg-humper Jack Abramoff has a self-serving book out called Capital Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist. In the book, which you should not buy, Abramoff details his relationship with Dan Snyder, whom Abramoff ...

Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...

The FBI Now Considers The Juggalos A "Loosely-Organized Hybrid Gang"
The annual National Gang Threat Assessment, released yesterday by the FBI, classifies our friends the Juggalos as a "loosely-organized hybrid gang" that is "forming more organized subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity." The grouping ranks them as a kind of junior varsity version o...

How Boca Raton Lost Its All-Star Pro Soccer Team Without Even Trying
The Boca Raton magicJack should have been the most marketable franchise in Women's Professional Soccer. The squad, formerly the D.C.-based Washington Freedom, was bought before the 2011 season by millionaire Dan Borislow, who renamed it after his own telecom product and moved it near his Florida hom...

NBPA Economist Kevin Murphy Provides Some Intellectual Capital On The Lockout
NBA.com has published an interview with Kevin Murphy, the noted genius and economist who's been working with the Players' Assocation since June. This is the first time the University of Chicago professor has talked publicly since the lockout began. Go read it to gain some bonafide intellectual capit...

Is This Petition The Beginning Of An Athlete Revolt Against The NCAA?
More than 300 football and men's basketball players from major, Division I NCAA programs have added their names to a petition drawn up and circulated by the National College Players Association (NCPA), which is headed by a former UCLA linebacker named Ramogi Hamu. The NCPA solicited player support f...

Tim McCarver Said "Strike" Was A Five-Letter Word, And Proceeded To Spell It Out (Video)
I-T-I-S-A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y-A-S-I-X-L-E-T-T-E-R-W-O-R-D. [Awful Announcing]...

If "God Damn It" Is A Curse, Chris Carpenter Just Cursed On National Television
Will no one think of the children's ears? (H/T Brian K.)...

Your World Series Game One Open Thread
Are you excited? Because we are excited. ("We" in this case refers to the Editor Emeritus of this webspace, who writes in that style, and not too many current staffers, because this series is to be played between two mostly uninteresting teams from the middle of the country that don't wear the right...

"I'm About Winning": Coach K Wasn't Included In Duke's Auto-Tune Song, So We Made One For Him
Mike Krzyzewski did not partake in DJ Steve Porter's Auto-Tuned "Duke Worldwide" music video, so we went into the Deadspin recording studio (it's called GarageBand and it's probably on your Mac) and mixed one ourselves....