off Page 184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Suddenly, Fleury
Unexpected goalies have a history in Pittsburgh. They probably don’t get that first Cup back in ‘91 if Frank Pietrangelo hadn’t stepped in for an injured Tom Barasso and robbed Peter Stastny. Johan Hedberg was a career minor leaguer before leading the Penguins to the conference finals in 2001 and be...
The Miami Heat Are Probably Screwed, And That Sucks
Tonight, the last night of the NBA’s regular season, will settle the Eastern Conference’s seventh and eighth playoff seeds, the last two unsettled spots in the postseason. The Miami Heat, currently sitting in ninth thanks to tiebreakers, can claim one of those spots, technically, but almost certainl...
The Nets Are Resting Players Against The Bulls For Some Reason <em></em>
The old, terrible, hopeless Brooklyn Nets, who are dead last in the entire league with an embarrassing 20-61 record, have announced they will sit six of their players in their last game against the Chicago Bulls on Wednesday night, including starters Jeremy Lin and Brook Lopez, as well as bench guy ...
Leaked Voicemail: Phil Mickelson Plans To Hustle Suckers For "Some Serious Cash"<em></em>
Phil Mickelson is the same guy on the golf course as off, meaning that he gambles no matter where he is. Wherever Phil lays his bets is his home....
Dumb Shining Moment: Your 2017 NCAA Tournament Lowlight Reel
This year’s edition of Dumb Shining Moment features everybody’s favorite athletes; the men we paid money (to CBS sponsors) to see; the men who really ought to go pro in something other than sports....
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
Ahead For 9,400 Meters, Joshua Cheptegei Wobbles To Finish At World Cross Country Championships
With 2,000 meters left in the weekend’s World Cross Country Championship, 20-year-old Ugandan Joshua Cheptegei was leading the most important race of his young life, in front of the home crowd. The glory was his; he had almost 50 meters on pre-race favorite and cross country legend Geoffrey Kamworor...
Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense
It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seein...
<i>Wheel Of Fortune </i>Contestant Completely Blows It<em></em>
Damnit, Kevin, you got so close before your horniness undid you....
March Madness Refs Continue Run Of Stellar Accuracy In Late-Game Situations
Officials whistled Saint Mary’s Jordan Hunter for committing the foul of “being shoved in the back by an opponent.” It sealed a victory for Arizona, which moves on to face Xavier next week. The refs are really on a roll of excellence, folks....
Refs Botch Obvious Basket Interference Call, Penalize Northwestern Instead
Officials allowed Gonzaga to get away with a clear basket interference amidst a late, improbable Northwestern comeback—and when Chris Collins registered his dismay with the blown call, assessed the Wildcats head coach with a technical foul....
Size Isn't Everything As Long As You've Got A Reliable Backhand
INDIAN WELLS, Calif.— The little guy had a problem, and knew it, running a hand through his sweat-damp sienna hair. All of 21 years old Yoshihito Nishioka is listed at 5-foot-7 and 141 pounds, straining credibility on both counts, and on Monday a heavy bandage swaddled something hurt under his right...
Should The Warriors And Cavs Be Getting Worried?
Here is a fun stat, courtesy of ESPN’s Marc Stein: In March the Warriors are 28th in the NBA offensive efficiency, and the Cavaliers are 29th in defensive efficiency....
Liga MX Cancels Weekend Games As Officials Strike To Protest Threats From Players
There are no Liga MX games this weekend, as officials for the Mexican soccer league have gone on strike to protest a series of recent threats from players. ...
Here Come Big ESPN Layoffs
It has been widely understood for a while now that ESPN would lay people off in 2017, and Richard Deitsch has some of the details. Via Sports Illustrated:...
Mike Piazza Shits On St. Louis And Major League Soccer At The Same Time, Achieves Glory
Mike Piazza, Hall of Famer and the best-hitting catcher in major-league history, is having a fine time in Italy these days. Much of it has to do with Reggiana, the third-tier soccer club in which he purchased a majority stake last year, and the New York Times’s Andrew Keh wrote a wonderful story abo...
How To Keep A Healthy Distance From Your Terrible Co-Workers
One look at the way I operate around my co-workers and you’d think I’m anti-social and evil. I don’t talk to these people, I don’t let them talk to me, and I keep all group participation levels to an absolute minimum. Simply put, if I don’t have to interact with them, I don’t. I’m not evil, though. ...
Grigor Dimitrov Just Blessed Us With The Best Tennis Point Of The Week
Watching a lot of Grigor Dimitrov lately, I’ve noticed a pattern: There’s a concrete moment, usually early in the second set, when he’s adequately warmed up from the first set and he decides to flip on God Mode. From there on out, you’re watching a qualitatively different player. Above is that momen...
Grigor Dimitrov Is A Guy To Know
Halfway through February, Grigor Dimitrov—not long ago ranked No. 40, written off as a burnt-out prodigy who’d never rise to meet the hype—has already racked up two ATP titles and a Grand Slam semifinal. This past weekend the 25-year-old beat David Goffin to win the Sofia Open in his homeland of Bul...