off Page 294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Professional Football Ultimate Fan Association President Hit By Float At Hall Of Fame Parade
The Canton Repository was on the scene when "the Obie the Tiger balloon cruised through the intersection of Tuscarawas Street and Cleveland Avenue just before 9 a.m." Shortly thereafter, the Timken Grand Parade got real....

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

BREAKING: Hall Of Famer, Admitted T-Shirt Thief Roberto Alomar Will Return The T-Shirt He Stole
Perhaps you read our story earlier today, of Blue Jays fans Fiyaz Kanji and Owais Farooqui, who made the pilgrimage to Cooperstown this weekend to see Roberto Alomar enter the Hall. But during the parade, Alomar took the $50 t-shirt that belonged to Kanji....

Roberto Alomar: Hall Of Famer, T-Shirt Thief
Fiyaz Kanji and Owais Farooqui no longer live in Toronto, where they grew up, but they remain Blue Jays fans nonetheless. So much so, they made the trip to Cooperstown from Boston over the weekend to see Roberto Alomar's enshrinement as the team's first Hall of Famer. But they still can't believe ...

Why Some Writers Won't Vote Derek Jeter To The Hall Of Fame
Sam Borden's got a column on SI.com today, idly wondering if Jeter will become the first player in history to be unanimously elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. It's a question that shouldn't matter because HOF voting is so flaky — Tom Seaver has the highest percentage of any electee — but it does...

They're Making A Full-Body Wax Casting Of Bernard Hopkins For Display In An "Odditorium"
Hot off the presses from Bernard Hopkins's press folks and the good people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not is word that the boxer has committed to a two-day appearance in the F/X department at Ripley's world headquarters in Orlando. There, on Monday and Tuesday, he will "begin the tedious task of h...

Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, The Dodgers And Cliff Lee All Had Shining Moments Yesterday
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces....

Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....

Here's Video Of A Pro Bowler Getting All Gutter Mouthed With A Foe
Let tipster hoseman666 explain this bit of profane professional-bowling fury for you:...

Here's China Losing Its Olympic Men's Soccer Bid On A Blown Call (Which Was Followed By A Humiliating Collapse)
Regrettably, the Chinese men's soccer team will not have a chance to follow up its 2008 Olympics performance—six goals against, one goal for, two red cards, one vicious episode of crotch-punching—with an appearance in London in 2012. The People's Republic was eliminated from the Asian Olympic qual...

Filthy Rich Kids Allowed To Sell Lemonade Outside U.S. Open For Charity After All
On Thursday, the heartless Montgomery County, Md. inspections office ordered a gaggle of children — including some from the Marriott-hotel and Lockheed-Martin clans — to close their lemonade stand right outside Congressional Country Club. The kids said they were raising money for pediatric-cancer r...

They Rioted In Vancouver Last Night, Eh
Don't ever let it be said that the fine people of Vancouver don't care enough about, oh, whatever, who knows what leads you to burn things after losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. You just do....

Brad Marchand Punching Daniel Sedin Like An Inflatable Clown, Set To An Adorable Child's Song
We came across this cute Canucks kid, doing his own version of a Twisted Sister classic. We spruced up the visuals....

Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...

Charles Barkley: "Miami Has The Worst Fans"
Charles Barkley continued his righteous public crusade against all things Miami Heat today, when he spoke to the "Waddle & Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000. Nothing revolutionary here, just the special vindication that comes with hearing someone with a national audience say things that said audience has b...

JJ Barea's Sprite Ad In Puerto Rico Takes A Shot At El Ego De Kobe
There's a strange inter-endorsement battle taking place across the ocean on a billboard in Puerto Rico, where Sprite spokesman JJ Barea is quoted taking a shot at fellow Sprite spokesman Kobe Bryant. This sign, originally dug up by Bethlehem Shoals, translates to, "Only my ribs hurt, but for Kobe, i...

Boston's Nathan Horton Will Miss Remainder Of Stanley Cup Finals
Horton suffered a "severe concussion" from Aaron Rome's brutal late hit in Game 3 last night, and will be forced to sit for the remainder of the finals. Rome was ejected from the game and will meet with the NHL for a disciplinary hearing today. [SportingNews]...

LeBron James And The Mistaken Case Of The Shrinking Superstar
In last night's post-game press conference, CBS Sports controversialist Gregg Doyel took the mic and asked LeBron James about his fourth quarter performances in the postseason. The fourth quarter, Doyel suggested, is when "superstars become superstars" (a confusing idea of evolution in itself), an...