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Kevin Johnson’s Shitbaggery, Explained
Over the past year, our Dave McKenna has reported on a number of sordid scandals surrounding former NBA All-Star and current Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson, culminating in this painful account from a woman who has accused Johnson of sexually abusing her when she was a teenager. Even by the standards...

Amara Darboh Celebrates U.S. Citizenship With One-Handed Circus Catch
Amara Darboh and his family fled the civil war in Sierra Leone when he was two years old, and after four years of moving across West Africa, he was eventually taken in by a family in Iowa. Both of his parents were killed in the fighting, and The Ann Arbor News has the definitive profile on him, whic...

The Gambling Drama <i>Mississippi Grind </i>Will Break Your Heart
When their eyes first meet, there’s an immediate spark, or perhaps a shared recognition. Gerry (Ben Mendelsohn) sells houses, but he’s not particularly good at it, mostly because he doesn’t care at all about his job, and only gets excited about the next time he can gamble. Curtis (Ryan Reynolds) is ...

"I'm A Grown-Up Now": The Teen Who Accused Kevin Johnson Of Sexual Abuse Speaks Out
There is a photograph of a pile of pink and white paper hearts atop Mandi Koba’s Facebook page. She cut the hearts out of hard copies of a 1996 police report from Phoenix, Ariz. The cops, according to the vintage report used in the arts and crafts project, were investigating “a celebrity involved in...

Neutering Is Not The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To This Bichon
There’s been quite a kerfluffle in Minnesota over this second-best Bichon of 2011 and 2012, Beau Lemon. The dog’s owner, John Wangsness, sued breeder Vickie Halstead, claiming that instead of having the decorated dog bred, she had the dog neutered....

John Calipari Probably Loves The Pope Way More Than You Do
It’s Pope Time in America, which means most people on the East Coast are grumbling about traffic and shipping delays and the goddamn Pope messing up their iPhone orders. Kentucky men’s basketball coach John Calipari is not one of these Gloomy Garys, though, because John Calipari loves him some Pope....

Browns Send Johnny Manziel Back To The Bench, For Some Reason
The Browns coaches must fucking despise Johnny Manziel. ...

John Tortorella's Conference Call Got Hijacked By Pranksters
USA Hockey named John Tortorella the head coach of the 2016 U.S. World Cup team on Monday, and set up a conference call with Torts and the media today. These teleconferences between coaches and reporters are commonplace, and the call-in number is usually well guarded. That was not the case with this...

Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...

Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....

Texas High School Players Say They Were Told By Coach To Hit Referee
The two Texas high school football players caught on video drilling a referee appeared on Good Morning America today—with their attorney— and said the referee had used anti-Hispanic slurs, a charge the official, Robert Watts, has denied. The players also claimed that they were ordered to lay hits on...

<i>Black Mass </i>Plays Like A Boston-Mob-Thriller Parody
1. Whatever your thoughts on The Departed or The Town—the modern Boston mob/crime thrillers that all modern Boston mob/crime thrillers are measured against—it is undeniable that everyone involved was deeply invested in both. Matt Damon had been waiting his whole life to play a character like his Dep...

Sick Of All Those Daily Fantasy Games Ads? This Is For You.
It’s no secret the ubiquitous TV ads for gambling, er, “daily fantasy” sites like DraftKings and FanDuel have taken over football’s bathroom breaks this season in ways boner pill manufacturers could only dream of. Everyone’s sick of hearing about this garbage, so we made something that, by compariso...

An Inflatable, Life-Size Ben Wallace, And Other Things You Bought While Drunk
According to a recent study on this very website, quite a few people make serious life decisions under the influence of alcohol. Go figure! On Friday, we asked our readers to tell us about the craziest things they’ve bought while drunk, and among the usual stuff (tattoos, memorabilia, and a subscrip...

Remember When A Chelsea Player Waggled His Dick At Stranded Americans The Day After 9/11?
When the first plane hit the north tower of the World Trade Center, it was 1:45 p.m. in London; preparations were well underway across Europe for the eight Champions League matches set to kick off later in the day. The matches went ahead, but the next day UEFA postponed the week’s remaining eight Ch...

Memphis Undoes Decision To Honor John Calipari After Fans Whine
Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend for a career that has, over nearly 30 years, seen his teams advance to six Final Fours (two of them vacated) and win an NCAA title. Before Calipari coached Kentucky, however, he spent nine seasons ...

Jack Johnson Is Fighting For His Contract In Bankruptcy Court
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Jack Johnson filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last October, after being scammed out of millions by his parents. Now, he’s attempting to convert his filing into a Chapter 7 case—which, in very broad terms, would allow Johnson to resolve his debts by liquidating his ass...

Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....

Patriots Request Reinstatement Of Accused Ball-Deflating Employees
With trumped up charges and a whole lot of dodgy PSI data, the only somewhat-weighty evidence that the Patriots had a concerted ball-deflation scheme going was the text-message comedy stylings of locker-room attendant Jim “The Deflator” McNally and equipment assistant John “Dorito Dink” Jastremski. ...