oh Page 317 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
Highlights of the early slate include Michigan at Ohio State (aka Denard vs. Terrelle), Michigan State at Penn State, Indiana at Purdue and the game in which "Tennessee looks for happy ending against Kentucky."...

Ohio State President Dumps On Boise St., TCU, Common Sense
Gordon Gee thinks Boise St. and TCU are unworthy, and prefers the bowl system because playoffs are "a slippery slope to professionalism." In related news, OSU basketball will happily take part in March Madness. [AP]...

MLS Season Ends In Most Fitting Way Possible
The MLS Cup was last night. (Did you notice? Did you know NASCAR also crowned its champ?) It ended with an own goal and the hero injuring himself on his fateful strike. It couldn't have gone down any other way....

Samuel Eto’o Gets All Zinedine Zidane About It
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff. ...

Beware Of Ohio State's "Brutus" Lurking At Gas Stations And Thad Matta's Exclamation Points
This haunting image comes courtesy of a reader named Andrew who sent this in with the creepy message "As always," most likely moments before he was dragged from the car and disemboweled in the parking lot....

John Salley Story Corner: Boss Hogg Chases Me Out Of A Jacuzzi
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Our hero has a Dukes of Hazzard moment....

Lovable Old Coach Speaks Only In Yells And Similes
Montana Tech football coach Bob Green announced his retirement yesterday. After 24 years with the NAIA Diggers, he's as established a walking soundbite as he is a coach....

A Video Gallery Of Terrible Team Songs, Featuring Zubaz Pants, "Let's Get Metsmerized," And Much More
Previously, we looked at bad '80s team songs. They were bad, but our morbid curiosity was not fulfilled. We asked you to send us more. You did not disappoint. Here are more awful '80s team songs....

Thunderous Dunk Uses Opponent's Chest As A Springboard
Best we can tell, this is from the third level of the German pro basketball system, and that's University of Dayton grad Marcus Johnson going all Tom Chambers on some poor schmo. All 35 fans were thrilled....

Jon Kitna's Nipples Lead Cowboys To Second Win
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Coach Raids John Daly's Wardrobe For Retina-Bleaching Suit
The coach of the Morehead State women's team wanted a way to grab attention to help recruiting. His solution? Well, you see the photo....

Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....

Demolition Goes Wrong: Smokestack Falls The Wrong Way
A 300-foot tower at an abandoned power plant tumbled the wrong way during demolition yesterday, taking out buildings and power lines but thankfully no people. [WKYC]...

Last Night's Winner: John Wall's Eventual, Inevitable Quintuple-Double
It took young Mr. Wall all of six games to put together his first career triple-double, a thing of beauty even against the hapless Rockets. He also had six steals. One day he'll put it all together with, yes, 10 turnovers....

John Salley Story Corner: Sleeping With The Enemy
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: A sister does her dirt....

Notre Dame President: School Is Responsible In Declan Sullivan's Death; Brian Kelly "Has A Bright Future"
"Declan Sullivan was entrusted to our care," Notre Dame President John I. Jenkins says in an email to students, faculty, staff, and alumni, addressing the death of the football team's videographer, "and we failed to keep him safe." Full email below....

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

This Man Actually Ran For Office Yesterday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

JaMarcus Russell "Stands Firm As Man of Integrity" After Purple-Drank Ruling
He fled the Oakland Raiders, got grand-jury clearance on felony "purple drank" havin' charges and has "John Lucas Basketball Resources" doing some PR. Aw yeah, JaMarcus Russell is back in tha game, yo!...

John Salley Story Corner: A Trip To The Gentlemen's Club With The Wife's Credit Card
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: a teammate gets stuck with a big bill....