Olympics Page 61 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lindsey Jacobellis DQ'd, And Other Things You Already Know But NBC Will Pretend You Didn't: Open Thread
People without access to the internet or cable television or the outside world in general don't know it yet, but snowboarder Lindsey Jacobellis drifted off course today and lost her chance at what Tom Brokaw couldn't wait to call "redemption."...

Your Olympics Tape-Delayapalooza Open Thread
Topics for discussion: figure skating, Rick Reilly's Canada jokes, Bruce Arthur's response, snowboarding, speedskating, Lindsey Vonn's shin (and the Jarlsberg she wraps it in), and the men's downhill finals, in which latter event I like Bode Miller's shot at bronze....

Afternoon Olympic Update: Worst Olympics Ever
It's Day 4 and I'm ready to call it. This Olympics sucks....

Bill Plaschke, Master Of Finding Controversy Where None Exists
Plaschke's manufactured outrage of the day: "there was no makeshift memorial of flowers or cards, there was no visible memory" of Nodar Kumaritashvili. The photo that runs with the story? A makeshift memorial of flowers and cards. [MSTI]...

Track's Safety Was Already In Question Before Fatal Crash
When Nodar Kumaritashvili died in a training run this morning, it came after years of hype of the fastest, most dangerous downhill run in the world. No one wants death, but we all want the athletes to risk it....

Fatal Luge Crash Mars Opening Day
Nodar Kumaritashvili, a 21-year-old Georgian luger, died from head injuries suffered in a brutal crash in training today....

In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...

Today In Euphemizing Flat-Out Calling Johnny Weir Gay: Frank Deford
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Locus Of Concern Shifts From Lindsey Vonn's Butt To Her Shin
Vonn, the skier last seen farting the Sports Illustrated flag, may miss the Olympics because of a bruised right shin. Don't worry. She's getting excellent medical care: "I wrap my leg in cheese and it takes the swelling down." [LAT]...

Chris Hansen Goes For The Gold
A Polish newspaper mistakenly included among the Olympic mascots Pedobear, 4chan's lovable mascot for pedophilia. Well, some of those figure skaters are pretty young. [Telegraph]...

Last Night's Winner: Every Other Sport That's Not Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who awoke from their post Super Bowl-hangover, rubbed their eyes and realized we've got a lot of time to fill between now and September....

Online Dating Pays Off, For First Time In History
Boy meets girl online. Boy falls for girl. Boy moves from Peru to Seattle. Boy marries girl. Girl teaches boy to ski, at 34 years old. Boy makes Olympic team. It's the oldest story in the book. [Seattle Times]...

Listen Up, NBC: Here's An Idea To Boost Olympics Ratings
Most people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens simply as the first Olympiad. Some people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens as a shining beacon of nude recreation. Like? The American Association for Nude Recreation. Obviously....

Last Night's Winner: People Who Don't Play Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like athletes who are suddenly going to get a lot more attention now that football season is drawing to a close. You've heard of "sports," right?...

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Terrorists Hope To Win Olympic Gold ... For Your Murder
This is an actual headline on ABCNews.com right now: ""Headed to Olympics? Beware of Terror Attacks." So enjoy the bobsled everyone ... because it will be your last!...

Indecisive Hurdler Discovers Breast Implants Don't Improve Leaping Ability
Australia's Jana Rawlinson was not happy with her body's natural curves, so like a lot of women, she decided to get breast implants. Then she remembered that she was an Olympic-caliber hurdler and silicon is heavier than air....

Meet The Hockey Team That Better Damn Well Win Gold In Vancouver
Canada has selected its very, very, very important Olympic hockey team. No pressure, guys. Just because it's on home ice that doesn't mean they won't find a way to deport you if you only win bronze. [Image via TSN]...

The IOC Erases History
Remember the women's 100m race at the Sydney games? No you don't. Because according to the IOC, it never happened....

Winter Of Discontent: Learning To Love The Vancouver Games
Did you know that the Jordan Palmer of amateur sports, the Winter Olympics, happens this February? It's OK — red-blooded sports fans can't possibly be expected to transition from the rough and tumble to Vancouver's prissy wonderland. Or can they?...