omer Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Cook Bacon, Eggs, And Toast: A Guide For Infomercial Skeptics
So I had the occasion, brain-fried and worked-over and at best quasi-sentient by the end of some long recent day, to plop my faltering attention on some cable channel well outside the familiar rotation and there, eventually, to be captivated—horrified, really, the gape-jawed half-smiling horror of e...

When Is It OK For A Coach To Shove A Player?
Early in the second half, with Cal down 12 to USC at home, head coach Mike Montgomery called a timeout. When junior Allen Crabbe, the Golden Bears' leading scorer, reached the bench he was met with a sharp shove in the chest. Crabbe and Montgomery exchanged angry words, and Crabbe had to be separ...

When Amani Toomer Looks At Ray Lewis, He Thinks "Hypocrisy"
The Super Bowl media crush isn't just about the players actually playing—the black hole also sucks in retired stars like Marshall Faulk and Jerry Rice and, um, Amani Toomer. The former Giants receiver has an extremely tangential connection to Sunday's matchup—Toomer's Giants lost to Ray Lewis's Rave...

Is This The Worst Division I College Basketball Team Of All Time?
See that video up there? That's two-plus minutes of highlights from Cleveland State's 92-49 victory over Grambling State on Nov. 9. Put another way: It's two-plus minutes of lowlights from the first game of what's shaping up to be the worst Division I college basketball season in history. ...

The Bengals Really Could Break Their 8,400-Day Playoff Winless Streak Today
For a summer in college I interned for the sports department of the Columbus Dispatch, which sent me for a few days to cover Cincinnati Bengals training camp. The 1990s had just come to a close—a dismal era even by the Bengals' standards—and the beat writers killed time during practice by stumping o...

When The Game Became <em>The</em> Game: An Afternoon With A Deranged, Piss-Smelling Vikings Fan (Me)
I was giving my eight-month-old baby a bath on Saturday night when I started to space out. In my head, I was giving Vikings QB Christian Ponder an imaginary pep talk. I was Leslie Frazier, only I was Leslie Frazier if Leslie Frazier were a goofy-looking white man. And I was in the film room with Pon...

Here's The Bitchy Sign An LSU Strength And Conditioning Coach Used To Embarrass Motivate His Players
This photograph (via @SEC_Logo) of a sign posted in the LSU training room. It reads:...

What The Best Pitcher In Baseball Taught Me About Prep School, Socrates, And The Art Of Not Selling Out
At my old high school, Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville, there is a large multi-purpose hall with high ceilings. The hall features large hanging glass panels that extend nearly from the ceiling to the floor, engraved with famous quotations and the image of the speaker. I remember two of the pane...

Homer Bailey Throws First Reds No-Hitter Since 1988
Homer Bailey threw this season's seventh no-hitter in shutting down the Pittsburgh Pirates tonight 1-0 in what was the first no-no ever thrown at PNC Park....

Science! Proves That Hawk Harrelson Is More Biased Than Every Other AL Broadcaster Combined
Today is probably a good day for the other sports to drop bad news. Maybe announce some NCAA sanctions, or failed steroid tests. Everything non-scabby is completely under the radar, so it would have been lucky timing for the White Sox broadcasting team to be selected as far and away the biggest home...

Washington Sports Site Insists LSU Will "Massacre" Huskies By Five Or Six Touchdowns
Well, isn't this refreshing: A news outlet eschewing all pretense of attaboy optimism, predicting instead that a Vegas line of a three-touchdown beatdown for the home team really ought to be a five-touchdown curbstomping....

Who Really Hits The Homers In <em>The Kid Who Only Hit Homers</em>? The Depressing Message Of Matt Christopher's Classic Book
Is The Kid Who Only Hit Homers a fable about the value of teamwork? Or is it a tale of using magic to get ahead, in which Babe Ruth is to Sylvester Coddmyer III as the devil is to Robert Johnson? The book, Matt Christopher's 1972 chef d'oeuvre, introduced the world to young Sylvester Coddmyer III, t...

Why Did We Like Matt Christopher So Much? Introducing The Rebooted Deadspin Book Club
Sports has never been about, well, sports—at least not in fiction. Athleticism is moral worth. A slump is karma. Winning, losing: just metaphors. If the score's the only thing that matters, you might as well watch a real game....

Adrian Gonzalez Homers In His First At Bat As A Dodger
You know what they say about first impressions: always hit a three-run home run in your first at bat with a new team if you'd like to make a good impression. Hours before, Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Nick Punto were on a plane en route to Los Angeles as the trade was made official. Gonzalez did not ...

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...

Man Dives Into Kauffman Stadium Fountain For Adam Dunn's 400th Home Run, Is Arrested
Adam Dunn blasted his 400th home run last night into the fountains at Kauffman Stadium. One industrious and, judging by his jersey, long time Chicago White Sox fan decided to retrieve the ball from its watery grave....

Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...

Ichiro Hit His First Home Run As A Yankee, And John Sterling's Call Embarrassed Everyone
To be fair, Sterling arrived at "The Yankees' Rising Sun [or is it Son?] Says Sayonara" after eliminating more insensitive early drafts like "A mega-jack from the mega-Jap," "A head-turner from the rice burner," and "It's a round-trip for the new Nip." [YES]...

Walk-Off Home Run From Cody Ross Leaves Hawk Harrelson Silent For Over A Minute
Noted blatherer Hawk Harrelson is really only at a loss for words when the White Sox managed to inexplicably blow a lead late in the game and lose. For example, maybe Chicago is playing at Fenway and about to pull off an efficient 1-0 win thanks to eight solid innings from starting pitcher Jose Qu...