on Page 5639 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Way We Live Now: New Cubs Outfielder Responds To Mockery On His Tumblr
Fernando Perez, outfielder and all-around solid guy, isn't happy with this bit of satire from a Cubs blog. "It's so arbitrary and unfunny I'd be offended if I took the 120 seconds out of my work day to read it," Perez...tumbls. [Outfielding]...
Arrowhead Parking Lot Orgies Are More Common Than One Would Think
As many Kansas City radio deejays desperately search for the couple in that photo up above, one commenter pointed us to a Craig's List posting from last week which may lead to some answers — or more questions....
Last Night's Winner: Jimmer Fredette, Folk Hero
BYU's Jimmer Fredette hung 47 on Utah last night, three of which came on the shot you see here. If you didn't love watching him already, now you will....
Swedish Orgy Blackmail For Premier League Star? Sure, Why Not
Someone's trying to blackmail a Premier League player with video and photos of his Las Vegas tryst with three Swedish blondes. And he wants this covered up...why? [Daily Mail]...
Is It Time To Admit LeBron Was Right To Get Out Of Cleveland?
Since November 29th, the Heat are 21-1, while the Cavaliers have gone 1-21. This was the team we expected him to stick around and fruitlessly try to win with?...
Auburn Fans Take To Walmart To Celebrate Title
Auburn, like Alabama last year, will be taking the BCS trophy on a tour of local Walmarts. Please take photos for us....
Bimbo Sponsorship Has Everyone Making Bad Jokes, Overreacting
First of all, it's Mexican, and it's pronounced "beem-bo." Does that make it any less funny? No? Okay, but an espnW post questioning whether it's sexist is maybe taking things too far....
Robbie Alomar, Second-Rate Wax Robbie Alomar Turn Two
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Poor Lady Chiefs Fan Caught With Her Boobs Out After Post-Playoff Pity Hump (NSFW) (UPDATE)
Here we have a woman: knit-capped, pendulous breasts exposed, bluejeans in mid-yank, in plaintive conversation with a man: Tamba jersey'd, hunter's jumpsuit, dejected due to inebriation or underwhelming sexual performance atop the hood of a Murano....
ARCO Arena's New Name Will Be A Glorious Tribute To Large-Scale Consumer Fraud
ARCO will become the Placebo Effect Power Balance Pavilion, according to Sactown Royalty. You are, of course, familiar with Power Balance and its wristbands. This is like naming your stadium in honor of pet rocks. [Sactown Royalty]...
Michigan Man Brady Hoke Will Coach Michigan Men At Michigan, According To Michigan
Michigan Man Brady "Michigan Man" Hoke is a Michiganly Michigan Man who Michigan Manned at Michigan for Michigan years. "Michigan Men are Michiganed to announce the Michiganing of Michigan Man," said Michigan's director of Michletics. Michigan Michigan Schembechler Michigan? Man. [MGoBlue, ESPN]...
Maybe The Problem Was You, Iowa State
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Gene Chizik knows haters gonna hate....
Is There Anything Ken Griffey's Rookie Card Can't Do?
The discovery of a rare Griffey card helped Albany police bust some burglars. The man's a national treasure. [WNYT]...
Pissed-Off Under Armour Employee Does Not Want To Work Full Friday After Auburn's Championship
The corporate higher-ups at Under Armour probably should've waited to mess with employee holiday schedules, what with the lingering championship afterglow and all. One employee decided to vent his displeasure in the form of an anonymous email. This is his championship, after all....
New Sports Chat Show Held Inside Actual Sports Dome
As you well know, sports are fertile ground for ridicule, absurdity, and repeated failure. Onion SportsDome inflates on Comedy Central tonight, and hosts Mark Shepard and Alex Reiser will present all the ball-related news you can stand from right inside that dome....
"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...
The Fundamental Rule Of Public Masturbation
If you're at a gym and you put your shit in a locker and you don't put a lock on that locker, don't you deserve to have all your shit taken out of that locker and burned in front of you? I say yes. Nothing worse than a seemingly available gym locker that turns out to be taken by some shithead who ca...
Oregon Wasn't As Fast As Nike Made Them Look
There was method to the madness of Oregon's uniforms last night, according to Nike's top uniform designer. Here are their neon green secrets....
MMA Fighter Who Lost Ear Has Mangled Remains Reattached
This happened on New Year's Day in Japan. That's Kazushi Sakuraba, legendary fighter known as the "Gracie Hunter". That's part of his ear exploding. Miraculously, it was reattached. [All Elbows/Esther Lin](via Zak Woods)...