on Page 5718 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Area Man Shows Disdain For Team By Purchasing Team Merchandise
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Let's Unpack The Best Parts Of The Clippers' White Party
Old sack of shit Donald Sterling hosted a white party for the Clippers this weekend (he's the one person in the photo here who isn't wearing white, natch). There was a lot of fun to be had. Let's take a look....

What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do With Judah Friedlander?
Greetings, faceless demographic. So the folks at HarperCollins are trying to promote Judah Friedlander's book "How To Beat Up Anybody" and I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to promote it. It doesn't help that the publicist lady referred to the site as "Deadpin" several times....

The Day Jeremiah Pharms's Wife Attacked His New Girlfriend In The Stands
You might remember the brilliant, scary reporting about the 2000 Washington Huskies by the Seattle Times' Ken Armstrong and and Nick Perry in 2008. Now, all the stuff that couldn't make a family newspaper has been released in the book, "Scoreboard, Baby."...

Oklahoma State Takes A Page From Pee Wee Football
The Cowboys' new focus on defense includes rewarding players for turnovers with Snickers and Butterfinger bars, probably from a fun-size bag bought for $2.99 at a Stillwater Otasco. [AP]...

Pat Tillman's Brother: "I Wish He Would've Just Lit These Fucking Idiots Up With His Own Gun"
Richard Tillman appeared on Real Time With Bill Maher over the weekend, and, like the rest of his family, Richard still plainly refuses to grieve in the officially sanctioned manner. It's maybe the only life-affirming thing about the whole affair....

Carlos Boozer Is Trying To Start As Much Trouble As Possible
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: new Chicago Bull and chest hair proponent Carlos Boozer....

Mark Cuban, Lunch Date
Bid now, and win lunch for two with Mark Cuban! He will sign one item. You will have to fight your friend to the death for possession of the item....

Watch This High School Quarterback Hurdle A Standing Defender (Update)
Watch in awe as Marky Thompkins of the East Liverpool (Ohio) Potters shows off his ridiculous athleticism by jumping clear over a defender to get into the end zone. H/T Nic....

Another Wrestler Dies Young: El Gigante, 44
Jorge González, the 7-foot-7 Giant González of the WWF and a former basketball player whom the Atlanta Hawks drafted in 1988, has died, apparently of complications from diabetes. [SLAM! Sports]...

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...

Florida Marlins Rookie Hazing Takes Uncomfortable, Fake Pube-y Turn
The Marlins took part in baseball's long-held tradition of dressing rookies as women recently, and no one was more up to the task than Logan Morrison who dressed as Angie Everhart—who research shows was never on Baywatch. What an idiot. [Last Angry Fan]...

Dear College Baseball Players: Stop Using The Internet To Ask For Advice On Taking Steroids
Last week's Villanova player asking for tips on juicing was just the beginning. Apparently there's an epidemic of our nation's stupid, stupid college athletes turning to message boards for the best PED regimen. Today: anonymous college pitcher with a pitiful fastball....

Should Stuart Attwell Have Let Dirk Kuyt’s Goal Stand?
The suits at the Professional Game Match Officials organisation reckon so, yesterday issuing a statement confirming Attwell had not broken the Laws of the Game. But what do YOU think? Consider the following:...

100-Foot Super Mario Game Plays Out In MLS Stands
Supporters of the Chicago Fire put together this impressive tifo (basically the soccer equivalent of those North Korean card stunts) over the weekend featuring Mario, a Koopa Troopa, and one on-target fireball....

Tony Dungy Still Furiously Beatifying Himself
Coach Moral Compass checks in on the Braylon Edwards situation and says, approximately, "If I'm Rex Ryan, I light the collective bargaining agreement on fire and blow my nose with the Wagner Act." [Larry Brown Sports]...

Shaun Smith Can't Stop Grabbing Guys' Packages
A week after the Chiefs DE was accused of, erm, manhandling Cleveland's (The Secret World Of) Alex Mack, San Fran's Anthony Davis comes forward to show on the doll where Smith touched him. "He tried to feel me. That's weird, right?" Right....

Getting Around Local NFL Blackouts, The Fun And Illegal Way
This is the story of a bar with a modicum of computer knowledge, and a dream. That dream: to watch the Buccaneers get massacred, even though the game wasn't sold out and therefore not shown on local Tampa television....

Weekend Winner: New York Jets, Enablers
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like alleged drunk driver Braylon Edwards, whose blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit not a week before he scored the touchdown that put the Jets ahead for good....