on Page 5720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If Drew Brees' Wife Brittany Goes Into Game-Day Labor, She's On Her Own
So, 60 Minutes will feature Drew Brees tomorrow night. The segment includes an interview with Jeremy Shockey, thus totally screwing anybody who said "I'll tattoo 'Berzerker' on my forehead if Jeremy Shockey ever gets on 60 Minutes."...

N.Y. Daily News Still Pissed At Flyers Fans Who Booed Grizzly Mom
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Will Someone Please Help Jose Canseco Get His Decorative Light Fixtures Back?
There is so much compressed sadness in this one tweet that I think we can now upgrade Jose Canseco from professional sad sack to existential hero. I mean, at this point would you be at all surprised if his next tweet were, "woke up from uneazy dreams now ima bug ,help"?...

This Looks Like A Villanova Baseball Player Asking For Advice On Steroids
We were directed to the message boards of a site for steroid enthusiasts — specifically to a post from someone claiming to be a Villanova baseball player wondering what to take to bulk up fast....

Butch Davis Compares NCAA Violations To Chinese Water Torture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: beleaguered UNC football coach Butch Davis....

The One Where A Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Her Boobs In The Hope Of Getting A Job (NSFW)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business. (NSFW)...

John Salley Story Corner: Contributing To The Delinquency Of Jalen Rose And Chris Webber
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: buying beer for two-fifths of the Fab Five and telling God to fuck off....

Here Ya Go, You Fat Bastards
MLB is rolling out an app that will allow fans at games to order concessions on their iPhone and have it delivered to their seats. I thought that option already existed, and it was called a wife....

Carmelo Anthony To Join Forces With Russian Oligarch, Lopez Twin
Things are heating up as the Nets are in talks to send Devin Harris and Derrick Favors elsewhere and acquire Carmelo Anthony. You know a trade is complicated when the Bobcats somehow stand to dramatically improve....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: The Saddest Hookup In the World
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Fall Is Here So Groom Yourself, For God's Sake
Dude, no one's buying the "bangin'" scraggle you grew at Burning Man. It's back to school for you and your facial hair! Craft your perfect fall stubble or beard (from 1/64" up to 23/32") with the Philips Norelco Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro....

Hockey To Get The <i>Hard Knocks</i> Treatment Too
HBO will film the Capitals and Penguins this December for a four-episode Hard Knocks-esque miniseries. Will there be Ryanian pottymouthage? "You might hear some salty language with a little Canadian or Russian flair," said a network exec. моргала выколю, падла!...

Last Night's Winner: Felix Hernandez's Chances Of Not Getting Jobbed Out Of A Cy Young
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Felix Hernandez, who probably locked up his Cy Young last night along about the time the Rays hung their seventh run on CC Sabathia....

Leave Wayne Rooney Alone Now, Hints Sir Alex Ferguson
Kids, there is a big lesson here. Reach for the stars, by all means, but once there, don't mess it all up by prowling for threesomes when your glamourous wife isn't looking....

What Did Bing Crosby Keep In His Basement?
Baseball historians have long sought after a recording of game 7 of the 1960 World Series. They finally found it: in Bing Crosby's wine cellar. Of course; it all seems so obvious now. [NY Times]...

NBA Overhauls Technical Foul Rules, Because They Haven't In A While
This season, NBA players will receive technical fouls for "aggressive gestures, demonstrative disagreements, running directly at an official to complain, or excessive inquiries about a call, even if the tone is civilized," so suck on that, anyone who runs demonstratively. [Sporting News]...

Dead Political Journalism Of The Week: <em>The New York Times</em> On Linda McMahon
The New York Times's Matt Bai tediously tries to answer the question no one anywhere is asking: "Can Linda McMahon Win in a State That Defines Preppy?"...

Ryan Mallett Is A Big Fan Of Erin Andrews, Sadomasochism
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hey, Please Thank Fire Joe Morgan Again For Making Yesterday Wonderful
Remember how much fun you had yesterday watching Fire Joe Morgan eviscerate all of those poor, poor sports journalists? Yeah, if you could help them help people with cancer, it'd be much appreciated....