on Page 5727 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Letter From An Aging Male Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Give Me An Erection
If the possibility of getting fired or divorced or nonexistent Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz right now and profess my undying love for her....

One Of Our Hoopsters Is Tangentially Newsworthy, Source Says (CONFIRMATION UPDATE)
After Lollapalooza, we were inundated with hoopster sightings. We had a plethora to choose from and ended up doing multiple collections. One of our hoopsters was wearing a Team USA Joe Dumars jersey, turns out his brother just destroyed his ankle....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 5
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 5: The season ends with a "fucking" flurry....

Man Masturbates In Toy Aisle To Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
According to police, William Black grabbed the SI mag at his local Walmart, walked to the toy aisle, rubbed one out, and wiped it on a plastic light saber. [The Smoking Gun]...

Pete Rose: “Don’t Do Like Me”
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pete Rose....

Atlanta Braves Fans Are Filthier Than The Guys Using The John In Penn Station, Science Proves
"Only about two-thirds of the men observed washed their hands after using the restroom at Turner Field — the lowest rate for any of the locations cited in the observational study and survey on the hand-washing habits of Americans."...

Ines Sainz's Biggest Defender Once Said Erin Andrews "Encouraged" Her Stalker
Erin Andrews was subjected to a personal violation, and one pundit said she was "playing to the frat house." That's a short step away from "she was asking for it," and that pundit is now leading the charge against reporter harassment....

Tom Brady Wishes Patriots Fans Were More Like Jets Fans
Brady wasn't pleased with Gillette Stadium emptying out early in the fourth quarter of Sunday's game, and noted that Jets fans would never leave with time remaining. Well, sure, but that's because of Rex Ryan's gravitational pull. [Boston Herald]...

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Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....

Letter From A Young Female Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Make Me Want To Stop Trying
If rationality and feminism and mediocre Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz and ask her to tell me why she does what she does for a living....

Hey Football Fans, Quiet Down A Little
According to an opinion piece in a major newspaper, you really shouldn't cheer so loudly at games. The other team can't hear their quarterback's signals, and that's not fair....

More Ines Sainz Outrage From Male Readership: "This Bitch Wants Her Cake And Eat It Too."
As we enter Day 4 of Ines Sainz disrupting the lives of the Jets, the NFL PR department, and every newspaper columnist in America, we continue to receive more unhinged emails from readers willing to speak with unfiltered honesty....

The Champions League Is Harder To Win Than The World Cup, Lies Jose Mourinho
As reported on the popular Spanish website, Sport.es, Jose Mourinho's mouth has once again kicked into action before the logic part of his brain, as he muttered these words:...

Day One At Dink Inc.: A Woman Begins Her Odyssey Through Sports Gambling's Underworld
Beth Raymer moved to Vegas in 2001, hoping to land a cocktail-waitressing job. Instead, she wound up the girl Friday to a gambler named Dink, from whom she learned that one "takes" the dog, "lays" the favorite, and never, ever steals....

Columnist Wants Bloggers To Pay For Access
If bloggers want to be in the press box, they should have to put up a $10,000 bond to cover any libel violations. Or, you know, don't credential independent hacks with Wordpress sites who are liable to libel. [Globe and Mail]...

Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Juiceboxes)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....

Pro Football Doubletalk
We missed the initial to-do over the scene depicted here, wherein Albert Haynesworth mills around enormously in the vicinity of a defensive meeting, but it's since become something of a Rorschach that determines if you're a sensible human being or Mike Florio....

Clinton Portis Didn't Mean Those Things He Said Six Hours Ago
Clinton Portis has apologized for this morning's "53 packages" comments on Ines Sainz. We are still awaiting comment from Sheriff Gonna Getcha and Southeast Jerome....