on Page 5814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Fans Of Fingering
In sports everyone's a winner — some win better than others, like every headline writer who's dreamed of using the verb "finger." Last night was a flat-out finger blast for those folks....

Homeless Man Hops Wall, Strolls Across Outfield To Get To Concession Stand
The man interrupted the Altoona Curve's game because "he was thirsty from drinking vodka," so he hopped the outfield wall and made a beeline for the food stand. Actually, that does sound more pressing than completing a Double-A baseball game....

Santana Moss Is Your PED Bogeyman Of The Moment
According to the Washington Post, Moss received SCARY SCARY DRUG Human Growth Hormone from Canadian pixie Anthony Galea. [Washington Post]...

Let's Enjoy This Four-Year-Old Track And Field Collision All Over Again (Video)
Click to view For some reason, this (internet) old video of a collision between a seemingly wayward sprinter and what looks to be a long-jumper has been making the rounds. Watch? [Today's Big Thing]...

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Mitt
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Floyd Landis Admits To Blood Doping, Claims Lance Armstrong Did It Too
Despite years of denials, disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is spilling his guts about his career-long use of blood doping and performance-enhancing drugs—and claiming that Lance Armstrong taught him how to do it....

Australian Footballer Tells Gay Athletes To Stay In The Closet
An Australian Rules football star just penned a heartwarming op-ed telling his fellow players that it's really awesome if you're gay and everything—but it would be even more awesome if you kept that to yourself. Like, forever....

Horse Race Announcer Yells Himself ... Hoarse
Jim Jacques had a little bit of trouble calling this harness race in South Australia over the weekend. The yelling may not have been up to par, but his impression of a asthmatic tracheotomy patient is spot-on. [TabloidProdigy]...

Calvin Murphy Fires Up The Delonte Got With LeBron's Mom Rumors Again
Hall-of-Famer Calvin Murphy appeared on ESPN Radio in Houston today and as all basketball conversations must do, the topic turned to the rumors about Delonte West's dalliance with LeBron James' mom. Murphy's response: "It ain't no rumor."...

Michael Johnson Was "The Fastest Human Ever," According To Michael Johnson
A new BBC documentary about Usain Bolt—hosted by fellow sprinter Michael Johnson—adoringly mentions the man Bolt beat to claim the "fastest man alive" crown....Michael Johnson! Not mentioned: The one guy who was actually faster than Johnson....

Chiefs' WR Dwayne Bowe On The Mechanics Of Road Beef
Everyone knows that athletes tend to lead swinging lifestyles when they're on the road, but no one is really supposed to talk about it in public. Well, Kansas City wideout Dwayne Bowe just talked about it. A lot....

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line
Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything....

Soccer Commentary Can Be Hard To Understand But This Is Ridiculous (Video)
Click to view Tossing it down to a reporter on the scene always carries the risk of going haywire. That was the unfortunate case recently when British soccer's answer to Tony Siragusa was asked if there were any updates about the game. [Today's Big Thing]...

Footballer’s Snazzy House — Can You Guess The Owner?
For those of you wondering exactly what £100,000/week might buy you, then this should give you an idea....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Junkyard Dog
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Junkyard Dog, who died in a one-car accident in 1998....

Another Fan Gets Tasered, And This Time It's A Player's Dad
Why yes, astute police blotter readers, that was the father of Boston's Marquis Daniels getting removed from his seat, Tasered, and arrested during last night's game....

Introducing The Deadspin Dong Curse
We honestly had no idea athletes' careers go downhill after we plaster their penises all over the web, but apparently it's a hex. Which is ironic, because most of our featured athlete dongs look rather blessed. [Tauntr]...

London Olympic Mascots Are Revealed, Monstrous
Wenlock and Mandeville, their cyclopean eyes representing England's Big Brother police state, were unveiled today. You might as well just sacrifice your firstborn now and get it over with. [Telegraph]...

La Liga Side Takes On 200 Children — And Wins!
To celebrate Joseba Etxeberria's career, Athletic Bilbao played a match against 200 Basque children, beating them 5-3. Which is fitting, because playing against children is what most La Liga matches feel like for Barca and Real....