on Page 5840 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Ladies Should Always Take Your Husband’s Last Name
No time for tiddlywinks. Your letters:...
Football Players Get Themselves Charged With Weed Cultivation In Solemn Observance Of Today's Date
Four Louisiana at Lafayette football players were arrested this morning and subsequently suspended indefinitely from the team for alleged cultivation of marijuana. Can't we celebrate Jessica Lange's birthday without the law busting in? [The Advertiser]...
MLB PED Suspension Imminent, Submit Your Wild Speculation PDQ (UPDATE: We Have A Winner)
Rumors say that a "semi-big" Major League Baseball player is about to be suspended for a performance enhancing drug violation. To win the game, you must identify the player, the drug and the ESPN personality they will tearfully "confess" to....
Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...
Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....
Warning: The Washington Nationals Do Not Advocate Lady Punching
Despite the obviously incomplete picture portrayed in this fraction of a drawing, the Washington Nationals baseball club would like officially go on the record as being against slugging unsuspecting women in the back of the head. That's a relief....
Mind-Altering Old Spice Clip Features Spastic Pecs Aplenty
It's Comedy Week on Deadspin, so Old Spice wants to contribute. Behold the 16-hour B.O. BLOCKING POWER in this Tim & Eric-directed spot. There's so much BLOCKING POWER that your eyes will cry tears of titanium alloy. Need we say more?...
Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....
It's White Supremacy Night At Safeco Field
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Just In Time For The World Cup, French Star Visits An Underage Prostitute
In libertine France, it takes a lot to spark a sex scandal. Think an underage call girl will turn do the trick? Franck Ribery could face charges after seeing the girl, though he says he didn't know her age. [AFP]...
DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....
Pablo The Panda And The Worst Souvenir Ever
I want you, for a moment, to picture Pablo Sandoval's crotch. Now imagine getting smacked in the face with something that spends all day down there....
Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....
LeBron Puts James Johnson On A Poster
LeBron gives us a thunderous dunk over the hapless Johnson, followed by a scream that's television gold. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled, non-LeBron posting....
And Here's A Guy Getting A Handy At A Hockey Game
Not sure who deserves more props - the BU hockey fan receiving some surreptitious manual love, or the private dick who decided to record it. We'll be handing out bonus points for identifying the parties involved....
Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....
Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Part 782
"If I'm going to be the biggest bust, I have to own up to it. I used to go to bed at night hoping somebody else like Heath Shuler might magically leapfrog me on those all-time bust lists."[LAT]...
The Formula Behind George Lopez's Baffling Success Revealed
Best Week Ever's Noah Garfinkel and Look At This Fucking Hipster's Joe Mande noticed a recurring pattern in all of George Lopez's monologues: rip-roarer; cut to band. It's so vaguely familiar. [Best Week Ever]...
Anyone Want A Photo Of David Aardsma's Penis?
The Mariners closer has allegedly taken a nude photo of himself and sent it to someone via cell phone, and now one enterprising individual wants to find it a suitable home....
An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....