on Page 5842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're With Me, Meme
Flip to page 195 of this month's GQ. You'll find a spread in which everyone's favorite Bermanism appears atop Topher Grace's crotch. And thus "You're With Me, Leather" becomes one of many viral sensations to spread to smarmy Hollywood wang....
Calm, Sober Man Explains Why He Fought Crazy Veteran On A City Bus
Even losing the world's most famous YouTube fight won't stop anyone from making the most of their 15 minutes. (And not in the way you'd expect.) Maybe Jerry Jones should host the rematch. [YouTube]...
Alexander Ovechkin Loves, Shoves All His Fans
Hell hath no fury like a Russian hockey star who just got his butt handed to him by a group of feisty Canadians. Point a camera in his face and he'll have no trouble shoving you to the ground....
Here's An Email I Sent To Jason Whitlock That Apparently Makes Me Look Crazy
Next time, I'll type slower and send it from my iPhone. [TheSportsHernia]...
World's Worst Tennis Pro Still Suing British Newspapers For Declaring Him The World's Worst Tennis Pro
Robert Dee, the world's worst tennis pro, has wrung tens of thousands of pounds in damages out of media organizations that suggested he's the world's worst tennis pro, even though, yeah, he probably is the world's worst tennis pro. [Guardian]...
NFL Players Care Deeply About Health Reform, At Least To The Extent That It Affects Their Love Lives
NFL players have a health-reform lobbyist, though he remains "foggy" about what they want. Players are apparently concerned with "how cash from their health reiumbursement account is split in the case of divorce." Put that on a picket sign. [CPI]...
Sexbots, Virginity, And A Heartwarming Joe Biden Poop Story
I have a serious recurring problem. Once a month or so, I will walk into a door before I have opened it. I go to a door, I grab the knob, and I begin pushing the door in before I have begun twisting the knob. Sometimes, I'll give the door full-on shoulder check before I have to back off, twist the k...
Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....
Oakland Athletics: Meet Your Montreal Expos
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Oakland Athletics....
Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...
"ESPN Bandit" Is Best Bank Robber Since Dillinger
Chicago police are on the lookout for a man who robbed four banks with nothing more than an ESPN baseball cap and a manila envelope. Suspect is 5'10", age 45-50, and not a fan of Sage Steele's skirt. [ChicagoBreakingNews]...
Last Night's Winner: Canadian Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!...
MTV, BET No Longer Safe From Chad Ochocinco
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cavs To Set World Record For Sissiest World Record
There are a handful of down-on-their-luck teams chomping at the bit to sign LeBron James. He'd be the only attraction they'd need to sell tickets. Meanwhile, Cleveland is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most Snuggies....
Only Death Or Golfing Can Take Down Jim Leyland
Leyland's pinky toe was broken after Gene Lamont ran over his foot with a golf cart. Leyland proceeded to gnaw the toe off to keep from missing a smoke break. [Detroit News]...
Olympic Pole Dancing Advocates Are Super Serious, You Guys
Every Olympics, we hear about fringe sports (and that's being generous) clamoring for inclusion. This time, it's competitive pole dancing. But it doesn't look like they have the most credible advocates on their side....
Slightly Racist Mascot To Be Replaced With Cult Favorite Squid Monster From Space?
The campaign is underway to name Admiral Ackbar, of "It's a trap!" fame, the new mascot at Ole Miss. Assuming Ole Miss's endowment is enough to cover George Lucas's licensing fees. [AJC]...
Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial
Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous....
This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...