on Page 5879 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lane Kiffin: Pretty Pretty Princess
Esquire's 64-person "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket has one hell of a sleeper 16 seed: Lane Kiffin. (To be fair, he does look great in culottes.) Voting decides the winner, so I think you know what you have to do. [Esquire]...

Ducks 911 Call: 'M-A-S-O-L-I, Like The Football Player'
The best part about Oregon's Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry pleading guilty to second-degree burglary is that police can officially release the 911 call. Here it is, and it's excellent....

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

The Best In NCAA Conspiracy Theories
The NCAA Selection Committee is a shadowy backroom cabal, operating with minimal transparency and zero oversight. But do they really rig the brackets? We look at five of the most plausible theories, and rank them on their merits....

Terrified Children Still Being Thrown, Taunted By Angry Sheep
It's been a while since we've had a quality bustin' incident featured here, but thankfully the heartless marketing team of the Colorado Mammoth's professional lacrosse organization recently let the mighty sheep embarrass some over-matched tots during halftime. Mutton victorious....

Potential Train Wreck Alert: Mike Tyson Gets Reality Show
Mike Tyson is coming to Animal Planet. Tentatively titled Take on Tyson, the show will "pit Tyson and his birds against the best racing-pigeon owners in New York." Can it possibly top this? [NY Post]...

Why Does The Selection Committee Keep Screwing The Mid-Majors?
Joe Sheehan over at Basketball Prospectus is back aboard a favorite old hobbyhorse of his — the NCAA selection committee's habit of matching up non-BCS schools in the first round — and damned if he doesn't have a point....

Prepare For Deadspin's Preposterous Spring Break Week, Featuring Pat Jordan
Sometimes we get lofty ideas, ones that seem great in theory, but are impossible to execute and may unexpectedly end with a wounded frog. Here's another: Pat Jordan, revered wildman sportswriter, is covering Spring Break in Daytona Beach for us....

Stupid English People Will No Longer Get To Chase Rolling Cheese Down A Hill
After an illustrious 183-year run, the annual Whitsun cheese-rolling event on Cooper's Hill in Gloucester has been canceled, partly for safety reasons. Add "chasing cheese wheels down a steep hill" to the list of things that England has deemed unsafe....

Clark Kellogg Renamed The Midwest Bracket The "Bang Bus" Bracket For Some Reason
Clark Kellogg's mind must be in the gutter. Or he has some nefarious plans for Evan Turner and the San Diego State cheer squad. H/t Hernando for the video....

Today In Ridiculous High School Dunks
On his way to leading Springfield Hillcrest to the Missouri state championship, Trey Starks took some time to jump over a much taller opponent for a vicious dunk. It's a recurring thing for him. H/t David K. for the video....

Calipari On Buccigross: "He's A Jagoff"
Kentucky coach John Calipari talked with SportsCenter today. Wrapping up, he had the chance to say something to ESPN's John Buccigross. Calipari proceeds to call him a "jagoff" yet again. H/t reader Tyler for the video....

The Saddest, Most Pitiful Sentence Illinois Basketball Fans Will Ever Read
"Though Illinois is seeded No. 1 in the NIT, it couldn't host a first-round game because Cirque du Soleil is performing at the Assembly Hall this week." Even sadder? My parents have tickets. [IlliniHQ]...

New York Yankees: The Truth Of The True Yankee
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: New York Yankees....

David Beckham Tears Achilles, Will Miss Opportunity To Vomit On The Field In Another World Cup
Beckham snapped his left achilles and will not get a chance to sit on England's bench in South Africa. Stiff upper lip, though: "The romantic notion of him seizing the day and inspiring England to glory was poppycock." [Guardian]...

Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....

Tiger Woods' Comeback Will Be Ratings Blockbuster, CBS Prez Says
"[T]hat is an indication that whatever he does has enormous interest. And whatever he does on the golf course for the first time since Thanksgiving will be of interest to almost every man and women in this country."[SI/Deitsch]...

Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal Lobe
This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place....

And Joe Lunardi Re-Enters Cryopreservation
As you enjoy the NCAA selection show and prepare to enter your own office pool, one of our readers shares a co-worker's concept of a bracket that boggles the mind....

Disgraced Human Mascot Sleeping With The Enemy
"God Bless America" singer and Yankees good luck charm Ronan Tynan, who had to move out of New York after allegedly making anti-Semitic remarks, has swapped pinstripes for a Red Sox jersey. Can they take Giuliani too? [NECN]...