on Page 5884 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Corey Haim, Dead; Bill Simmons Mourns
Excpect 5,000 words on how Haim's death is comparable to River Phoenix's by 5 p.m. [SportsGuy33]...

Washington Nationals: Go Natinals!
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Washington Nationals....

Black Hispanic Ballplayers Aren't Black Enough For Torii Hunter
"They're not us," Torii Hunter tells USA Today. "They're impostors." Yeah, he's going there....

In Case You Wanted Updates On Howard Stern's Tiger Woods Beauty Pageant...
And...good morning!: 8:49 AM (2 hours ago) From Nick Denton to tips: jopiazza (@jopiazza) 3/10/10 8:31 Tigers mistress Jamie Jungers says she and Tiger had rough sex and...he is quite well endowed...oh and no condom! Sent with Tweetie...

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: Pittsburgh Needs A Leader
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: The Steelers try to solve their current quarterback's character issues....

Last Night's Winner: Derek Anderson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Browns occasionally starting quarterback who was finally released from his own personal Purgatory—even if Purgatory isn't exactly sad to see him go....

What's Black And White And Read All Over?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dallas Luminaries Join Forces To Raise Awareness Of Super Bowl XLV
The Dallas-Fort Worth Fox affiliate brought a group of notable Dallas sports and news figures together to promote the upcoming Super Bowl (only 334 days!). Can you name them all?...

Deadspin Casting Roundup: Vince Lombardi To Get <em>Glory Road</em>-ed
Legendary Fordham Football Rams coach Vince Lombardi's story is coming to the silver screen and Robert De Niro is set to play the Super Bowl trophy's namesake. In related news, the dad from The Wonder Years just fired his agent. [TheWrap]...

Brazilian Indoor Soccer Player Dies In Just About The Most Horrific Fashion Imaginable
A 23-year old Brazilian indoor soccer player, Robson Rocha Costa, died Sunday after sustaining injuries in a match. A piece of floor plank pierced his thigh and went into his intestine....

RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...

Stephen Strasburg Performs Miracle Of Turning 27 Pitches Into Six Outs
Baseball Jesus Stephen Strasburg debuted today against the Tigers and pitched two scoreless innings. He gave up back-to-back two-out singles in the second, finished with a strikeout, and transubstantiated into Miguel Batista. [ESPN]...

Should Connecticut Women's Basketball Be Disbanded?
The UConn women's basketball team has won 71 games in a row, breaking a record set by....UConn, seven years ago. If they keep winning like this, soon even people who care about women's basketball won't care about women's basketball anymore....

Snackbots, Astrobating, And Magic Condiment Fingers
I have a question for all the commenters out there: Would you star in a porn film if someone asked you? A real porn film that gets posted on the Internet and everywhere else. You get paid. Like say, two hundred bucks. And you get to have sex with a top tier porn star, like Lisa Ann or someone like t...

Peter King Leads The League In Obliviousness, Strange Notions Of Justice (UPDATE)
Whenever a football story drifts beyond football and contracts and whatever Brett Favre just text-messaged from his ride mower, we can always count on Peter King to give voice to the most oblivious and casually insensitive thought in his head....

Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...

Amber Alert In Canada After Hockey Trading Cards Vanish
If an insured shipment of hockey trading cards is shipped from Newfoundland, when will it arrive in Ontario? Trick question; the post office will steal lose it. If you have any information, you know what to do. [UPI]...

Big Ben Photographer Speaks; GCSU Says No Comment
On Thursday, Justin, a senior at GCSU, snapped a photo of Ben Roethlisberger with a young woman. As with a lot of things that night, that photo's now the subject of innuendo and insinuation, some of it, Justin says, misguided....

Tim Tebow's Signature Will Save Our Economy
The world's greatest undrafted free agent held his first "official" autograph signing last weekend and since he's no longer an amateur, his signature will now cost you a pretty penny. Or $160 if you want to get technical about it....

Tampa Bay Rays: A Nuclear Switzerland
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: Tampa Bay Rays....