on Page 5889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

All I Want for Christmas is to Never Hear That Song Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tell Me More, Tony And Eva, Tell Me More!
Is there a better Christmas present than a freshly wrapped copy of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria lip-syncing along to "Summer Nights"? Actually, no. I don't believe there is....

They Were There, Too
Clearly, I haven't been to any transcendent sporting events live in the last 10 years, and thankfully, that's not true of some of our lurking commenters. Join the party!...

Unfortunately, I Was There
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Duke-Notre Dame , 2007. Hear me out....

Forrest Gump Really Should Have Grown Up Somewhere Else
Silicon Valley engineers products and then exports them to the rest of the world. The latest innovation: ping-pong-playing robots disguised as small children, built from scratch to ruthlessly dominate the Olympics and win eternal glory for America. U-S-A!...

The Year In... Mutton
So the last month has been chock full of end-of-decade retrospectives in addition to the typical end-of-year remembrances. We'll do our own anyway. Today, to start: mutton-bustin'. Like you expected anything else....

"I Was There...": Best Sporting Events You've Seen In Person This Decade
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now (including here), but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade. Mine: Game 7, 2000 NHL Eastern Conference Finals....

Chad Ochocinco Can Receive And Give
Rather than bribing referees with George Washingtons, the wideout plans to toss a pinata filled with 2,000 one-spots into the stands if he scores on Sunday. He thinks he won't be fined. Maybe Christmas miracles are possible. [Bengals.com]...

In Which We Honor Christmas By Watching Basketball
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Heatsicles! Now, Knickerbockers! Now, Celtics and Magic! On, Kobe! On, LeBron! On, games on later that seem oh-so-tragic!" So please, talk amongst yourselves as Mariah Carey loops all afternoon....

It's So Heartwarming In The D
In case you've forgotten, today is Christmas Day, and if you want to feel all fuzzy about good deeds and peace on earth, just read the Detroit Free Press. No, for real. Ernie Harwell will make your day....

Last Night's Winner: SMU Mustangs
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like the SMU Mustangs, which exerted as much effort in scoring this prestige as they did in routing Nevada. They had no competition in either regard....

Armed Agent Zero Confuses Wizards With Bullets
We interrupt your Christmas caroling for this: Gilbert Arenas is under NBA investigation for stashing firearms in his locker. Apparently, that might violate the league's gun policy. Plus, Washington D.C. owns strict anti-gun laws. What's the excuse?...

Be Good For Goodness Sake
According to well-placed sources in NORAD, Santa is making his way across Asia right about now, which must mean that I'm about 18 hours from stuffing my face in Chinese food. Oh, and Christmas is almost here. Merriness ensues....

Ray Allen Is Having Some Issues With Twitter
Followers of Ray Allen's Twitter account must have been shocked by the sudden X-rated turn that his tweets took last night—a brief, masturbation-filled snafu that he blames on hackers....

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

If Being A Rhodes Scholar Is Cool, Then Everyone Wants To Be Bill Bradley
Myron Rolle postponed entering the NFL Draft to debate philosophy in Oxford pubs, and suddenly, two other high-profile college athletes — namely, Alabama's Greg McElroy and UConn's Maya Moore — are considering applying for Rhodes Scholarships next year. Trend alert!...

More Last Minute Gift Ideas: A Murder Conviction
A Yankee fan who ran over a Red Sox fan with her car after he mocked her team has been found guilty of second-degree murder. Shockingly, the New England jury did not consider it justifiable homicide....

Tiger Woods Accident Story Becomes Latest Email Hoax Your Dad Will Send You
Many of you have probably received a forward from a friend-of-a-friend who knows an Isleworth resident with the "real" story about how Elin and Tiger's Thanksgiving night battle went down. Here's what the bullshit story looks like....
