on Page 5913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is Exactly Why Only Goons Should Be Allowed To Fight
Sweet sassy molassey was this an ugly fight. Flyers center Danny Briere makes it abundantly clear why he has only been credited with two fights during his career with yesterday's atrocious "brawl" with Marc-Edouard Vlasic of the San Jose Sharks....

Clippers Broadcasters Suspended For Mispronouncing 'Iranian'
Play-by-play man Ralph Lawler and analyst Mike Smith have been suspended for one game for calling Grizzlies center Hamed Haddadi an "EYE-ranian." The Iron Sheik would probably like to take these guys on in a cage match. [Los Angeles Times]...

Sports Fella "Suspended" Over Angry Tweets, Not Allowed To Watch TV, Talk On Phone For Two Weeks
Bill Simmons was suspended for letting his 1, 010, 999 Twitter followers know how he feels about about certain WEEI talk show hosts, but he's still able to talk about his book tour. Rob King, WWL.com's courageous editor, offers explanation....

Early Game Open Thread: This Rivalry Has Gotten Cuddly
Today Michigan and OSU do their annual dance of the overcrowded football stadiums with yawning interest outside of I-75. Blame Rich-Rod. The Duke Benterns battle the Artist Formerly Known As Katrinas Of Miami. Isiah v. Tebow. [LMK]...

Brave Woman Gingerly Explains How Mark Cuban Checked Her Out One Night In Vegas
Always a great way to start a blog entry: "I was reluctant to write this blog because Mark Cuban does in fact have a family with kids and a lovely wife..."[The Flight Of My Life]...

"Faces In the Crowd" Brought To You By Valtrex
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Chuck Klosterman: American Polymath Napkin
Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin caricature from Craggs....

Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Shattered Town Observes Anniversary Of Drunken Metrodome Coitus By Slamming Doors In Reporter's Face
Carroll, Iowa, is the home of Lois Feldman, the woman who famously had a crapulent fling in the stall of a Metrodome bathroom. Carroll is also the home of many people who'd rather not talk about Lois Feldman's crapulent fling....

Ten Questions To Ask A Woman Before You Propose To Her
Okay, so we tackled the ladies' end of this topic last week. I think it's only fair we flip the script....

Horndog Hero David Berson Rumored Leaving ESPN (Kissing Suzy Update)
Bristol justice is swift. Programming VP David Berson, known around these parts as the man who was engaged in a long-time affair with Kate Lacey, is apparently leaving ESPN. This may or may not be related to his horndoggedness....

From The Desk Of George Bodenheimer: "Class, Dignity And Integrity"
Hey, look! It's another memo from ESPN President George Bodenheimer! And today he wants to tell his employees about all the exciting things his company is doing to slow its steady transformation into Connecticut's answer to Gomorrah....

Kevin Johnson's Fiancée Accused Of Covering Up His Shady Past
"A congressional investigation of the volunteer organization AmeriCorps contains charges that D.C. schools chief Michelle Rhee handled "damage control" after allegations of sexual misconduct against her now fiance, Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson..."[Washington Examiner]...

Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate]...

Jay Mariotti Tossed From Chicago Bar After Scuffle With Patron Over Cell Phone Pic?
We're waiting for further confirmation on this story, but according to multiple sources, Jay Mariotti was tossed from Chicago'sUnderground Night Club(fixed) last night after he went ballistic on a guy who snapped a picture of him. Haters smell blood....

Showing Signs: Marv Albert And 50 Cent Now Have Beef
Marv Albert appeared on Wednesday's ¡Jimmy Kimmel Live! So did 50 Cent. This encounter could end in only one way: with fisticuffs....

This Is Why Anaheim Hockey Fans Can't Have Nice Things
Anaheim's Scott Niedermayer offered his stick to a fan after he won star of the game. Unfortunately, it sparked a melee between two gentlemen and a blond woman as a helpless Niedermayer looked on from the ice. [Puck Daddy/HTA.SanFillippo]...

The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...

Last Night's Winner: Tokers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Ricky Williams and Tim Lincecum, who yesterday inhaled deeply the vapors of success. And perhaps some other stuff, too....