on Page 5913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls ride the mechanical bull while topless....
The One Where A Former NFL Assistant Coach Lets Us Know He's Not, In Fact, This Scantily Clad Woman
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
You're Making A Heckuva Pick, Brownie
Former FEMA head Michael Brown is picking the Colts to win the Super Bowl. That's really not like him, to abandon New Orleans like that. [Politico]...
Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....
Tailpipe: Your Smutty NASCAR Romance Story Hour. A New Feature.
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Not-Completely-Sober Freddy Garcia Has Some (Profane) Words For The Cubs
We're not saying Freddy Garcia is drunk in this video, taken at the White Sox' annual SoxFest. We're just pointing out he's unsteady on his feet, slurring his words, and saying "fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."...
This February, Hines Ward Screws The Pooch
How is Hines Ward spending his Super Bowl week? As a celebrity judge for the Dog Bowl, picking which performed the best football-related trick. How is it so far, Hines? "Oh, man, it definitely stinks, to be honest." [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Signing Day Was Best Ever, Says Every Coach Everywhere
Now that the first letters of intent have been signed and sealed, one indisputable fact emerges: every single school had its best recruiting class of all time. Let's look at the not-at-all hyperbolic statements from around the country....
There’s More Than One Way To Fill A Prophylactic! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Trevor Winter: The Moonlight Graham Of Terrible NBA Players
Winter reminisces with Asylum about his five minutes in the NBA. "You have five fouls to give," Flip Saunders said before a game against Shaq, "and for every foul you don't use, we'll fine you $1,000." Mission accomplished. [Asylum]...
Philadelphia Wing Bowl 18: They Did It All For The Snooki
Brian P. Hickey woke up at 5 a.m. today to go watch the 18th annual Philadelphia azzzhole convention known as the "The Wing Bowl." He filed this report.(See Philly.com's full Wing Bowl Gallery here.)...
Bad Beats: It's Only Teenage Wasteland
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....
Middle Schoolers Begin The Brett Favre Smear Campaign
Last week, the Wall Street Journal published an item in a notes column, detailing the possible scapegoats for the Vikings loss. No mention of Favre. That's not good enough for Mr. Kloepping's social studies class....
Terry Out As England Captain
Fabio Capello today stripped John Terry of his captaincy, and will name a replacement as soon as he can find one who hasn't slept with Vanessa Perroncel. [The FA]...
The Breasty, Pukey, Fighty Majesty Of Philadelphia's Wing Bowl
Brian Hickey spent his morning taking in the sprawling mess of Frank's Red Hot depravity that is Philly's annual "Wing Bowl" gorgefest (featuring "Snooki," of course). He'll have his full report later, but here's a photo primer. (NSFWish)...
Super Bowl Subplot #8: Hurricane Katrina
The media has kept it surprisingly low-key this week, but come Sunday there will be no avoiding the big dark shadow that looms over New Orleans and the rag tag group of football misfits holding that city together: Katrina....
Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....
The Always-Controversial Weather Channel Sees A Hurricane WhoDat Comin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
First Spoils Of Terry Court Victory: Premier League Manager's Whorehouse Visit
Remember how an English court said the tabloids weren't barred from reporting on John Terry's private life? That's what we call a precedent....
Online Dating Pays Off, For First Time In History
Boy meets girl online. Boy falls for girl. Boy moves from Peru to Seattle. Boy marries girl. Girl teaches boy to ski, at 34 years old. Boy makes Olympic team. It's the oldest story in the book. [Seattle Times]...