on Page 5917 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Incompetent Soccer Child Is Also Adorable
Good thing this little girl lives in America. If this were Colombia, she'd be murdered for her own goal. (And if it were China, she would have been aborted five years ago for being a girl.)...
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death."...
The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...
Some Sports Test For Steroids; Others Only Care If You're Dealing
As you ponder the musclebound freaks on your TV, take a minute to realize football has one of the best drug testing policies in sports. Is this to the credit of the NFL, or more indicative of everyone else's nonchalance?...
Your Early Games Open Thread
Here it is, empirical proof that FOX thinks your desire to watch Brett Favre be Brett Favre trumps your desire to avoid Lions games at all cost. Also, enjoy that all-Florida crapfest, West Virginia. [The506]...
Massachusetts Has Exactly 1500 Celtics Fans
The Celtics license plate finally hit the magic number of orders to be produced. All it took was three years and a title to find the 1500 people necessary....
All You Need To Know About Last Night's Fight
From the AP story: "Cotto's wife and child, who were at ringside, left after the ninth round, unable to watch the beating any longer." Cue Pretty Boy Floyd dodging a fight in 3, 2, 1... [AP]...
Who Says There's Nothing To Do In Oklahoma City?
You're young, rich, one of the most talented players on the planet. If you're Kevin Durant, how do you spend your days off? Getting into slapfights, and filming them....
To Be Fair, I'd Like To See How Your Team Does Without A Quarterback
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Poon For Everybody!
Missouri fans who made the trip to Manhattan, Kansas to watch their Tigers trash Kansas State 38-12 decided to honor the team's victory by holding up letters to spell out "POON." Although I'm a bit confused by the extraneous "O."...
Stephon Marbury Continues To Turn Craziness Into An Art Form
I'm no genius, but it seems to me that Marbury isn't a huge fan of Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni. In a tweet one would suspect were the rantings of a clinically insane individual, Marbury calls the coach "DPHONY." Nice. [SimonOnSports]...
Timberwolves GM Wants Fans To Know He Is Aware Of How Much Team Sucks
Mired in a nine-game slide, the Timberwolves are struggling to get acclimated to Kurt Rambis' triangle offense. Further, the team stinks. So, GM David Kahn did the only sensible thing - he wrote a letter to the team's 10 fans....
This Guy Is Trying To Steal John Daly's Bit
And no, I'm not referring to Udorn Duangdecha getting his stomach stapled and surviving solely on Diet Coke and cigarettes - check out those slacks. Crap, they're so loud that Marlee Matlin heard him trying them on. [Devil Ball Golf]...
Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
It's time for the second round of games on this wonderful Saturday afternoon. There's plenty of options on the telly, with Florida at South Carolina as perhaps the most intriguing. Can you imagine how excited these girls are right now?...
Joe Torre Is Happy For The Yankees - No, Really
Given his acrimonious exit as Yankees manager, one would suspect that Joe Torre would be a bit bitter about the Yankees winning the World Series. Nope. Not at all. In fact, he's as pleased as punch - or something....
I Bet The Graphics Guy Who Cropped Indiana's Logo This Way Feels Like A Boob
Heh. Tit. And for those of you worried about this warping our young people, it has already been changed to a less-offensive image. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make "BOOBLESS" appear on my calculator. (Thanks, reader Josh)...
CFL Player Gets Stabbed After Attending KISS Concert (Updated)
Calgary Stampeders tight end Teyo Johnson got stabbed at a party Thursday night after he went to a KISS concert. Apparently, it has been learned that it was a DJ Tiesto concert - not KISS. Same difference, right? [TSN]...
It's Too Bad The Title 'Psycho' Was Already Taken
So, Ron Artest is making a movie about his life. That's...um, interesting....
To Be Fair, Jesus Was Fiercely Anti-Merkin
Okay, one more Jesus-related post today. In anticipation of College Gameday's appearance in Fort Worth today for the TCU-Utah tilt, one clever TCU fan decided to make it known Lee Corso's long-running feud with the King of Kings. [myFOXdfw]...
Your Early Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
You got Tennessee-Ole Miss on CBS. Go forth and watch collegiate football. Drink beer if you wish. Try to avoid getting arrested....