on Page 5926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Dat? Ain't The Saints
The independent league St. Paul Saints will change their name to simply "The Paul" until after Sunday's NFC Championship. The Minnesota legislature is also in the process of de-canonizing Saint Brett. [Via Speedy McWeed]...

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

UT Proves That Lane Kiffin Was A Hardened Criminal
The smear campaign against the newly-departed continues in earnest, as state and university officials confirm he never held an in-state driver's license. Throw away the key!...

Reuben Droughns Goes Up In Smoke
The former running back is under investigation for running a marijuana operation out of his spare bedrooms. More like Reuben Growns, am I right? Ugh, that was awful. More like Groans....

Rex Ryan's Convenient Superstition
Sexy Rexy has a pizza grease stain on his hoodie that he refuses to wash until the Jets lose. At least, that's the company line. Just as likely is that all of his clothes have grease stains. [NYDN]...

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Chris Kluwe Says Vikings Will Control Their Bowels Against Saints
I'd like to see this drawn up on the chalkboard: "We'll have a plan that doesn't involve pooping our pants," Kluwe said, per the St. Paul Pioneer Press.[Via PFT]...

Today In TMZish Sports: The Search For The Identity Of Saints Sideboob Lady Gets Serious
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....

Last Night's Winner: No Comment
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like some creatures we can actually comment on without pissing off our lawyers....

The Aussie Open Is The World's Largest Frat Party
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Blogosphere Eats Itself Over Meyer's God Gambit
The fuss over Urban Meyer supposedly milking his illness and invoking God to land a prized recruit is exhibit No. one million in the case of why you never believe anything your read on the Internet....

Sean Salisbury Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest (Redux)
USA Today's Michael Hiestand has a story about Sean Salisbury you should read: "I was ashamed, and I didn't want to say anything," says Salisbury, who was an NFL quarterback for eight years and an ESPN NFL analyst for 12. "...

Glen Davis And The $25,000 Magic Words
For a Big Baby, Glen Davis sure knows a lot of grown-up words. (NSFW language, I guess)...

Tooth Fairy Turns To NHL Gold Mine
Flyers goon Ian Laperrière had seven replacement teeth stolen en route to tonight's game. This reminds me of a horrible dream I had about a stupid movie starring the Rock. What do you mean, that's a real thing? [via The700Level]...

Much More At Stake Than Super Bowl For Rex Ryan
Just got an email from Major League Eating president Rich Shea. If the Jets win Sunday, Eatapus Rex will get a seat in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. This is all the motivation Ryan needs. (Official invite below.)...

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....

Ferguson Jenkins Thinks Mark McGwire's Home Runs "Altered Lives"
Lots of people have leveled lots of charges at Mark McGwire over the last few years, but I'm not sure if any of them top the Fergie Jenkins theory that says McGwire ended pitchers' careers by taking them deep....

Tebows' Super Bowl Ad Will Be Carried To Term, Apparently
CBS has approved a script for that 30-second spot Tim Tebow and his mom are doing for spanky Jim Dobson's Focus on the Family. It will not have an "overt" pro-life message, MediaDailyNews reports. Get out those decoder pins! [MediaDailyNews]...