on Page 5955 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Donald Trump Goes All Bitchcakes On A "Third-Rate" ESPN Filmmaker
The short-fingered vulgarian has spent the past month trading barbs with Mike Tollin, director of ESPN's forthcoming Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL? In a recent exchange, Trump closed with a devastating bon mot. "You," he wrote, "are a loser."...

Chuck Knoblauch Arrested For Assault
The former major leaguer was charged with choking his common law wife and hitting her in the face. I think it's safe to say he didn't hit her with a baseball. (Hey, at least I didn't mention the steroids!) [KARE11]...

Couple Christens Dallas Cowboys Stadium's New Bathroom Stalls
Some of you who follow my infrequently updated Twitter account may have seen a report from a friend about a video of two people doing the North Texas rumpy-pump in the bathroom at the MNF game. It has arrived. (NSFW)...

Mike Blowers Knew You Would Read This Post
Journeyman everything Mike Blowers spent 11 years in the majors, but he should've spent that time in Vegas instead because the guy is scary good at predicting the outcome of baseball games—right down to the pitch counts....

A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
Grown men who play professional baseball like to celebrate momentous victories by furiously shaking bottles of Champagne and spraying other grown men in the face. It's such a rich tradition that we've made a happy little gallery. Enjoy!...

The Last Days Of Sal Fasano
SI Writer Jeff Pearlman goes back to the Fasano well for the most depressing piece yet. Sal's now 38, and struggling: "You can't help but question your sanity. You're driven by one thing — hope."[SI]...

Doomed-To-Fail Sham Marriage Still Has Some Loose Ends
The Lakers' Lamar Odom and The Other Kardashian sister are not legally married until a pre-nup is signed. It's just a precaution, because we all know these two will be eternally bonded for a good six-to-eight months. [TMZ]...

I Challenge You To A Whack Off
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering whacking speed, haterade, rugby, peanut butter and weed crackers, and more....

A DeShawn Stevenson Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
The Wizards guard spent the offseason getting a bizarre Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his neck. (It's like redefining the "neckbeard.") He also got a backward Pirates logo on his face. I'm sure it made sense at the time. [WashTimes/TruthAboutIt]...

Pedro Guerrero Beats The Spread
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....

Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...

Binghamton Zoo Doesn't Appreciate The Comparisons To That "Blight" Of A Basketball Team
The Binghamton University basketball program has had its share of image problems thanks to many of the off-field indiscretions of its players, but don't you dare compare those animals to the ones in the actual zoo....

Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....

Arena Football Is Back!
Your wails and lamentations have been heard, people! A year without indoor football is not a year worth living through, which is why the football gods—the really short ones—have resurrected arena football and saved your life....

Overhyped Week 4 NFL Grudge Match? This Calls For A DEADSPIN FIELD TRIP
As you know, on Sunday Brett Favre Favred the Favres to a thrilling Favrory by Favring a last-second Favre to Greg Brett Favre. It was real sandFavre footFavre. He was a like a Favre out there!...

Stafon Johnson's Prognosis Is Good
The USC tailback, hurt yesterday when a weight bar fell on his neck, underwent seven hours of throat surgery. He's in critical but stable condition. "We all feel a bit damaged today and injured," Pete Carroll said. [LA Times]...

Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...

Angels Get Nick Adenhart's Jersey Drunk
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....

USC Running Back In Horrific-Sounding Weight-Room Accident
"ESPN's Shell[e]y Smith is reporting USC RB Stafon Johnson has been taken to the hospital after a bar came down on his throat in the weight room. Johnson was coughing up blood." [CBS2]...