on Page 5962 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On Baxter! On Keaton! On Ridge, Ronjohn and Blaise!
Because it's shaping up to be that kind of day....let's mock some prep school kids. Inside Lacrosse presents its All-Name Team. Apparently, someone actually named their son Remington Steele. A lot of Stephanie Zimbalist fans out there, I guess....

An Angry And Bewildered Nation Watches Rick Reilly® Ruin <em>SportsCenter</em>
Someone let Rick Reilly® anchor the West Coast edition of SportsCenter again, and sweet sassy molassy was he awful....

BREAKING: Barry Bonds Doesn't Play Baseball Anymore
A shocking Deadspin investigation has revealed that despite frequent mentions in the national media and his ubiquitous presence in any discussion about baseball and its steroid policies, Barry Bonds is not actually a Major League Baseball player anymore....

The Machine Won: 10 Preposterous Moments From <em>SI</em>'s 1996 Tiger Woods Profile
In 1996, Sports Illustrated named a 20-year-old Tiger Woods its Sportsman of the Year, and Gary Smith's accompanying story portrayed a young man who somehow combined the best parts of Doogie Howser and Buddha. It seemed like a stretch....

Last Night's Winner: Mack Brown
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Texas coach Mack Brown, who is about to get seriously paid. This is what is known as "striking while the iron is hot."...

Seven-Foot Santa Monster Terrifies Local Toddlers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiger Now Crushing Children's Dreams
A Wisconsin middle school band had hoped to fund their trip to Disney World by auctioning off an athlete's autographed photo. That athlete? Tiger Woods. That auction? Last weekend. Shit....

The IOC Erases History
Remember the women's 100m race at the Sydney games? No you don't. Because according to the IOC, it never happened....

And You Thought VORP Was Confusing
Someone much smarter than me uses something called Bayesian inference to argue that umpires ought to give a wider strike zone to pitchers with reputations. Any nerd commenters want to explain this to the rest of us? [Baseball Analysts]...

Oakland's Happy Family Just Got A Little More Dysfunctional
Randy Hanson, noted coach punchee, is back working with the Raiders. Even for a historically feckless franchise, this is surprising. Let's look at the possibilities....

Tim Thomas Brawl Classes Up Denny's
The Mavericks forward was involved in an early morning throwdown at a Dallas Denny's today. Nothing good happens at Denny's at 3 a.m. Nothing good happens at Denny's....

Porn Actress Reveals Sordid Details Of Her Tiger Fling: "His Teeth Are Perfect"
Below is a video from May in which Holly Sampson — star of MILF Bone 4; OMG, Stop Tickling Me; and an episode of Matlock — discusses her one-night fling with Tiger Woods, "perfect gentleman."...

Who's Not Lying About (or For) Tiger Woods Right Now?
TI-ger Watch... Club-carrying Kiwi goon, Steve Williams, contends he had no idea his boss was such a cad: "I do not have any personal knowledge of anything in the reports related to the Tiger Woods' stories." High fucking five, Stevie....

Deep Inside The Comcast/TV Guide Sports Listing Conspiracy
I've been hard on Comcast, because well....they're an evil cable company and they deserve it. But we're received a flood of emails proving that the wacky game descriptions we've been spotting are not their fault. It's like a peeling onion....

A Brief History Of Campus Recruiting Hostesses
We hope you didn't get the impression that Tennessee is the only school to use attractive young ladies as bait to lure prospective athletes, because it's actually a college football tradition as revered as marching bands and beer bongs....

And Now A Brief Update From Our Comment Ninjas On Policies Going Forward...
In the spirit of holiday house-cleaning, it's time for a crash course in comments etiquette. What can you do? What should you definitely never do? What, in effect, do we want from you, Mr. or Ms. Deadspin Commenter?...

Comcast Writers Not Even Trying Anymore
Comcast's television guide writers have taken a new approach to crafting their NBA game descriptions. Simply throw at a dart at the team rosters and whatever name you hit becomes the star of the game....

Kick 'Em In The Grill, Pete
Amazing tale of Prime Minister Pete Nice, former member of whitey hip-hop group 3rd Bass, and his involvement in the shady sports memorabilia market, which has left him holding just a box of Newports. And Puma sweats. [SI]...

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
In March, A-Rod seemed like a sure bet to be a SHOTY nominee. Yes, here he is ... but the journey to this point was a circuitous one....

Tennessee's "Hostess" Program Catches Recruits' (And NCAA's) Eyes (Updated)
The New York Times has a verrrrry interesting story about an NCAA investigation at Tennessee, concerning recruiting "hostesses"—i.e., hot Tennessee co-eds who get quite friendly with talented high school football players. (Updates below)...