on Page 5969 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly®'s <i>SportsCenter</i> Audition Tape
No, you weren't having a nightmare. Rick Reilly co-hosted the late L.A. SportsCenter last night and it was everything you could have hoped for and more. (You were hoping for stilted camera presence and lame fatherly jokes, right?)...

Cub Fans Ruin Their Own Child's Life By Making Her A Cubs Fan
A Chicagoan e-mailed to ask why I have no love for the Windy City. Someone else e-mailed the answer. Meet new North Side resident, Waitle Nex Yeare. With any luck, the state has already placed her in protective custody. [Slanch]...

Always Be Remembering 9/11 (During NASCAR Blow-Ups)
Down in Richmond, VA, today it's going to be all like, "Always— what?" (Vroom vroom sound effects.) "Always remem—huh?" Yes, the NASCAR 9-11 Ford Fusion is racing today! You will always never forget, until it crashes. (Well? NASCAR!)...

Proud Americans Are Getting Hosed For Ballpark Beer (Never Forget)
Why does baseball hate America? America is beer, and baseball hates beer-lovers....

Does Brooklyn Decker Really Need To Be A T&A Machine?
I am not much of a prude, and neither I guess is Andy Roddick, as he enjoys his wife exhibited to the max in glossy mags....

Let's Roll Some Sports Talk About Sports!
Oh hello. I am Choire Sicha, your 9/11 guest blogger, coming to you from lower Manhattan. Make of that what you will....

Raiders Make Richard Seymour An Offer He Can't Accept
Good news! If Richard Seymour doesn't report within five days he doesn't have to play for the Raiders this year! He's also suspended and won't get paid his $3.6 million salary, but life is full of compromises, isn't it? [ESPN]...

Bears Begin The Season With Five-Yard Penalty
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

An All-Too-Brief Moment Of Steeler Schadenfreude
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

If You Have A Heart Left, This Story Will Touch It
This one's for you cynical bastards, inured to a summer of miserable stories. With the death of a high school football player's grandmother, the only parent he ever knew, he gained two new foster fathers: his coaches....

They're Back!
The mad genius has returned with his NFL TV distribution maps. Enjoy that awful Vikings/Browns game, most of the country! [The506.com]...

Great Idea For A Paper Looking To Curry Favor: Hire Coach's Daughter
Not news: The Hartford Courant is planning to hire a new blogger to cover UConn women's hoops. News: said blogger's name is Alysa Auriemma. Conflict of interest much?...

The Chargers Sure Can Stuff Their Fat Faces
As per tradition, rookie Larry English took the team out to dinner — to the tune of $14,508.67. The real question is, which poof ordered the raspberry sorbet? [Shaun Phillips' Twitter, via Shutdown Corner]...

You Are Cordially Invited To The Alvin Keels Pool Party
While the whole Andre Smith contract abortion was playing out, we assumed his agent was working the phones nonstop. Instead, he was making embarrassing videos hyping his pool party....

Deadspin Very Special Guest Editor Days Are Here Again...
Fire Joe Morgan reunites and takes over this space next Wednesday but tomorrow, September 11, we have another lovable scamp who's graciously volunteered to button-push for us....

NFL To Let You Watch Games Long After They're Relevant
Blackout rules mean that if your local NFL team sucks, you don't get to watch their games live. Now by letting you watch the game "on a delayed basis," the league is acting like they're doing your a favor....

Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....

Caster Semenya Is A "Hermaphrodite," Ballsy Aussie Paper Reports
Caster Semenya reportedly has no womb or ovaries but does have internal testes, and, as if determined to provide the missing piece, everyone is being a huge dick about the whole thing....

Introducing The Learning Curve
Many readers have inquired about the lack of coverage we provide to lesser known blogs these days. Rightfully so. I'd like to showcase those newer, under-trafficked blogs on a daily basis. But...there's a catch....

Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....